Is having a hen do for a vow renewal cheesy as fuck?

[TakemedowntoPotatoCity]

Friends seem all for it but I'm not sure, would you think it's ridiculous?

A hen party for a vow renewal is stupid and pointless.

I’m really grateful you posted this OP. Have had a quick text conversation with other friends and we’re going to do her a hen do

I would as I have a completely different set of friends now that I did when I got married. Also I didn’t have a hen do when I got married!

And by hen do I mean going to the pub with my female friends.

Not a huge fan of vow renewals in principle, it does make the first time seem a bit meaningless to me, but I’m sorry you’ve had a difficult time, it sounds like your friends are the ones suggesting the hen-do, so if you want to then why not?

It's a bit naff but I'd still go! I love a party, me. It's harmless fun.

For our tenth wedding anniversary next year dh and I are having a handfasting at Gretna Green. I don't really care what people think.
I do think a hen do is probs pushing it though.

@Dahlietta thank you. No hen do or gifts wanted etc just those close to us and a meal after life ripped us apart for a time.

Good luck to you OP. A party can't hurt anyone they can decline if they don't want to come. It's a bit like birthday party for a non special year. It's been celebrated already but that doesn't stop me enjoying someone's party.

vow renewals are cheesy as fuck, never mind a hen/stag do

Christ there's a weird lot posting here.
I have never thought people having vow renewals were doing it because one had had an affair or that they'd been through a difficult time.
I always thought it was because they wanted to reaffirm, years later, that they still felt the same.

Yes, having a hen do is cheesy, it's cheesy first time round too.
Go for it OP have a laugh with your friends, have a great night out and look your DH in the eye and tell him again, you meant it.
What's wrong with that?
For information I've just married for the third time this summer, I hope to make it to a time I would even consider doing it again with the same person

I thought hen and stag parties/weekends had got a bit silly and over the top, but this takes the biscuit!

Wow some really nasty people on here.

Pathetic, attention seeking, pointless, only done because one partner has cheated - horrible unnecessary comments.

I don't see anything wrong with vow renewal and I don't get why anyone would immediately think there has been infidelity.

Me and DH haven't renewed our vows but we are thinking about doing so for our 40th anniversary and NO neither of us have cheated.

We just think it would be a nice thing to do and would only have immediate family there. When so many people get divorced (and not just once) what is wrong in celebrating 40 years of happy marriage and the fact that it is the first and only marriage for both of us?

Naff. Vow renewals are like saying you didn't mean it the first time you said them.

Go for it, I say! Can another little celebration be badone for anyone?
And I really disagree with those saying it's cheesy.

My brother had one a few years ago and it was lovely. A lot more intimate than the original wedding, and more emotional for them as this time they had only invited the people they really really wanted there (which unfortunately sometimes doesn't always happens with weddings)

Celebrating 40 years of happy marriage is wonderful. Traditionally that’s been called a wedding anniversary.

Renewing vows is when they have been broken by one or both parties. Whether you like that or not , that’s what many people will think.

People are allowed to have a different opinion from you. No need to call those people “ nasty “.

When people finish university they celebrate their graduation, they dont renew their matriculation.

They have a 40th birthday party, not a renewal of their birth.

They celebrate their promotion, they dont ask everyone to witness them filling in the application form for their first job.

Vow renewal ok (I don't really get it, but I don't need to, I'm not invited 😀) as long as it's not expensive for the guests to attend. Not one of my friends' weddings cost me under around £300 to attend. Some considerably more. If the buggers started trying to part me with yet more of my money for the privilege of revisiting an event I've already been to, my Paddington stare would be difficult to control.

Hen do; no.

Nothing wrong with anniversary parties, it is something to celebrate when you reach a milestone.
But I just wouldn't want to replace my original vows which I meant whole heartedly.

I find the whole renewal of vows self centred and it often screams affair. Same for people that insist on having a big do for a 5 year wedding anniversary. Get over yourselves!
You had the wedding and made vows til death us part, why the need for a renew? The idea of hen do for this is beyond stupid. People just need so much attention these days. It’s quite sad.

But not everyone who renew their vows have the big wedding style do.

I think 40 years of marriage is definitely worthy of celebration. I work in hospitality and we have had some beautiful anniversary parties where I work. Nicer than weddings imo as the focus is on guests all having a lovely time with the couple. Once you bring a ceremony into it, the focus shifts to the couple, which I personally wouldn’t like, but each to their own.

You had the wedding and made vows til death us part, why the need for a renew?

As I said, in the case of my friend she married in a rush when desperately ill. She can’t remember the ceremony. She couldn’t walk down the aisle. She has one photo of someone in a wheelchair with her husband who looks nothing like her due to the toll cancer had taken on her.

I can’t imagine anyone begrudging her a wedding day given she missed out on her first.

My aunt and uncle renewed their vows as she lost about 10 stone and wanted to wear a smaller wedding dress.

That's awful. How humiliating for all concerned.

Eh ? Why do you say that ?

That was exactly why I wanted to renew my wedding vows. Just for fun, in a Las Vegas wedding chapel.

My husband says wedding vows are not library books and do not need to be renewed.

So, we will celebrate our silver wedding anniversary with a nice holiday somewhere else.

Clearly a divisive issue here.

It may well be the audience element that irritates people. Why are they needed to bear witness to someone else's renewal of vows?

It's not very flattering to your spouse to say that you want to renew your vows because you want to wear a smaller dress. It's not about the partnership, it's about me and my dress!

Jacques I would see that as a second wedding rather than a renewal of vows. A reason such as this is perfectly acceptable and understandable, but in the minority so I still feel them same.

I do get 40 year + anniversary celebrations but I always thought of these as a family celebration (since weddings create new families and everyone comes together). Its often organised by the kids for their parents/grandparents. They are celebrating a lifetime of memories.

Wedding renewals and parties when you are still newlyweds are grabby.

Ridiculous! Just have a party afterwards for everybody.