Is having a hen do for a vow renewal cheesy as fuck?

[TakemedowntoPotatoCity]

Friends seem all for it but I'm not sure, would you think it's ridiculous?

My parents renewed their vows for their silver wedding anniversary. My Dad arranged it as a surprise for my Mum. It was lovely. It was just them, and my Brother & me. No fancy outfits and no fuss. We went out for dinner afterwards.

It wasn't done because either of them cheated. Nor was it done to make a big thing of it. I'm Not sure that many people ever even knew they had done it.

This thread makes me feel shit. We have been through so much in my marriage and one day I hoped we'd have a vowel renewal and all the people who've supported us individually or as a couple would be there cheering us on. I would hate to think they'd judge us.

I imagined a quiet service and a nice meal. Would that really seem pointless to people who love us and have seen us suffer?

I find it sad people automatically think bad about a vow renewal. My grandparents renewed their vows last year because their first wedding was very controversial due to both leaving previous marriages. They wanted to do it in front of the family and in a church. It was lovely.

Both had very low key hen and stag nights, were talking a meal and a few drinks at the local but it was all things they didn't do first time around.

I've always thought that vow renewals were either just for the couple so done with just them and maybe immediate family or maybe a proper 2nd wedding only if the first was an absolute disaster.
If you're going against convention anyway then it won't really matter do what makes you happy

Vows don't have an expiration date is what I always think but beyond that if other people think the original wedding and vows need a bit of gilding/reinforcement then, go them. I guess if the renewing bride-to-be didn't feel she got the maximum experience the first time around then a redo of the hen-do is not illogical, unnecessary perhaps but so is the vow renewal.

We chose to elope because the whole expensive to-do and paraphernalia of a big wedding wasn't for us, we just wanted to be married and don't feel any less married than someone who had the whole white dress and carriage to church thing. That feeling hasn't changed in the interim, we don't feel the need to put on a show involving everyone around us celebrating and validating us. Others feel differently and that's their prerogative.

I suppose it's a live and let live thing with the proviso that they shouldn't expect their guests to go to a whole lot of trouble and expense to accommodate their vanity day.

I'd rather like a vole renewal. Lovely little furry creatures.

Anything else, no thanks. I'm in the "who cheated" camp.

FWIW, DH and I have been through some major shit in the past few years (not cheating) but that is what the original marriage vows are for.

I must admit my personal thoughts on vow renewals is to wonder which one of them broke their wedding vows....

Although having said that, I recently went to a Ruby wedding anniversary where the couple 'renewed' their vows, and it was lovely.

It sounds like your friends are all up for a hen do, op. And that's the main thing, provided your happy to be led by them as to what they want to do.

Yes, I would find it a bit ridiculous to be invited to a hen party for a vow renewal. Sorry.

No harm having friends round / going out for dinner / drinks though. I just wouldn’t call it a hen party personally. But different strokes etc.

Just do it why not have fun with your friends it doesn't matter what people think

i think vow renewals are utterly cheesy and tacky.
what's the point? and who actually wants to go and see this take place?

yes, hen do's are cheesy anyway I think

Vow renewal, my first thought, like most people it seems, would be affair. A hen do seems odd under those circs. Sorry.

makes me think of Gavin and Stacey, and Mick and Pete having a 'stag do' and getting a stripper in - hilarious (and cringey as fuck).

I actually think vow renewals can be quite romantic, but it's the whole idea of pretending it's the first time round again that I think is a bit weird - people might think you expect presents and cards again.

I had always assumed vow renewals were for people who had broken their original vows, so they seem like a bittersweet thing to me. If you can make it more fun by having stag & hen parties, then why not? It's not hurting anyone.

Friends of ours did a renewal after one of them had an organ transplant was lovely .

(as long as you don't turn into a vow-renewal-zilla and expect everyone to give you presents and cash )

So many posters still saying renewals make them wonder if there's been cheating. OP has already said the renewal is because of a 'difficult time', so I imagine their friends will be well aware of this so there won't be any wondering or whispering, just well wishing.

I think it all sounds fine OP. All the best for the future.

Sorry I would say No.

I personally don't like vow renewals, as I think people who have them obviously didn't take their first set of vows seriously if they have to do it again.

And a Hen do for a vow renewal is weird, sorry.

I always wonder who cheated when I hear about vow renewals

How very small minded.

I actually found out yesterday a dear friend is having a vow renewal. Their first wedding ceremony was done at a registry office, planned very quickly because she was desperately ill. She’s now well enough to have the wedding she hoped for.

I imagine she will have a hen do too. She didn’t have one first time round. Bloody good luck to them!

I have never heard of a hen do for a vow renewal, I would think that was ridiculous tbh. The vows are for life anyway and - IMO - cover most of the big issues that crop up in life (it's almost like they were designed for the job )

No more cheesy than the vow renewal itself!

The vows are for life anyway and - IMO - cover most of the big issues that crop up in life (it's almost like they were designed for the job grin )

Agree with this!

Renewals to me are because the couple have broken some of the original vows. Either that or that they want to really reinforce what they promised before.

Hen do.... bit cheesey

Vow renewals are super-tacky but having a hen do for a vow renewal takes it to the next level of tackiness. Especially talking about having banners for it. Seriously?!! It all seems very attention-seeking. Just have a nice meal with friends if you insist on doing something.

Like others, I would assume someone had been cheating if they were having a vow renewal. I'd also expect the marriage to fall apart within 1-2 years of the vow renewal.

Maybe a vow renewal after a cheating situation for some people is what they need to do.

If you can't be nice be quiet.