Locust DH (lighthearted ... well a bit anyway!)

[flumpybear]

My DH is a bloody locust - you can bet your life you buy something nice and it just disappears. It's stupid things like I'll buy ice cream for the family, not just one pot but plenty to go around, and mix of everything we all like, there's something usually small like a Haagen daaz small pot of something which I chose to eat when I'm rewarding myself as I try to be good with eating

You can almost guarantee he'll snaffle it. He comes out with a barrage of excuses like 'it's been there ages' (yes perhaps a week but that's because I wait til I want something, not just hoover it) or 'there was only a tiny bit left' or if he pinches the last of my wine (we drink different types of alcohol ... I literally never even sniff what he chooses as his poison) apparently there's literally every time 'only a small glass left' which is always bollocks! Oh and also bear in mind we live literally 5 minutes from a variety of shops.

So this morning I get up, I went to bed really early as I was tired - I'd bought myself some
Wine (only I drink white wine) and we had some posh chocolates on Friday night to share and I've woken up to literally 1cm of wine left in the bottle (it had 3/4's left which I expressly told him to leave as I wanted some with Sunday lunch today) and all the chocolate eaten - I had 3, there were around 15-20 in the box

I've previously told him it pisses me off, I've also told him psychologically it's a brain fuck because you want to save something for when you want it, except if he hoovers it up like a fucking Dyson then it kind of makes you feel 'oh I'd better eat that treat now otherwise I'll never see it' ... and leads to hiding and all sorts of shit I don't want to feel I need to do in my own home with small treats I buy myself ( I buy treats or nice things for all the family not just me)

Anyway - I'm asking the brutal board for their opinions here - LTB or don't be a selfish wife?! ... or perhaps something in between
Am I the only one? Or do you get the same from your loved ones?

Is he drinking all his alcohol then resorting to yours? Genuine question as this behaviour might not be as light hearted as you think.

Leaving him might be taking things a bit too far ( as on one salary you might not be able to afford those lovelies 😉 )
But you need to get savvy and find a suitable hiding space for your stash.

Husband is the same. I try hiding things in the veggie drawer, but is on to this now.
Generally it is the kids ice cream or chips.

I don’t really think this is that funny.

I say that as it’s the kind of behaviour I have with food (not alcohol) and I have disordered eating which I’m trying to deal with.

The lack of impulse control is a concern as is the lack of consideration.

My husband was like this. It is frustrating and rude. I started hiding things but stopped buying them instead. He hasn’t done it for a while though.

He's overdrinking and overeating.

What shape is he in?

My son went through a phase of this when he was a teenager. Now we have a house rule for everyone of replacing things you have eaten, and not eating stuff labelled as belonging to one of the other three adults in the house.
He made several trips to supermarkets on foot, in midwinter at night that helped underline the consequences for him. Eat the pizza intended for all? Off you go.
It’s not ok. Bad enough in a teenager, ridiculous in an adult partner.

My DH does this but denies it. It drives me mad. I don't have anything that's particularly mine, but I'm always finding empty packets or things that have gone, and it's never him. Even when it can only be him. Even happens with things like paracetamol.
My advice would be hide it better and invest in some labels with your name on and "don't touch!"

@Merryoldgoat - sorry, I said light hearted but I do think the psychological angle pisses me off and does affect my psyche ... perhaps not so light hearted

My husband cannot leave nice food alone. Anything I buy for myself I leave in the boot of my car now which is ridiculous but he’s great in every other way so i can’t let it bother me that much.

Flumpy Mine does this and it will cost him a plane ticket to Vienna to replace the chocolate he ate from there that I was hoarding for a treat. He even hid the wrapper, so he knew he should have left it alone. He even ate my scotch egg the other day (we live abroad, so can't always get them). I still haven't forgiven him. I don't touch his haggis or black pudding, so why eat my scotch egg?

Locust flatmates drove DD up the wall at uni. Yes, male and shameless!

He's in pretty good shape as he's an athlete but moans about his weight (yes he has been thinner!)

Also this isn't every day it's perhaps some weekends with the 'treat' stuff, but has been known to eat the lunch box stuff because it's nicer than just making toast because he's hungry!

Loving the 'boot of car' idea - veg drawer tried and failed I'm afraid as he goes searching - though I've got a hiding place in the utility room cupboard 😉

You can buy little fridges. Get one to keep your own goodies in, and keep it in the spare room or the garage with a lock on it or a chain round it. Hide it if you can, or tell him he opens it ON PAIN OF DEATH. Keep this picture on it with a red line through it!

My EX husband was the same.

Ultimately it’s a total lack of respect and feeling like they deserve it more than you. It’s immature and one of the multitude of reasons he is my ex.

My current husband is respectful and whilst he ate my last Guylian seahorse the bastard he replaced it with a whole box. Why? Because he’s not a dick.

You shouldn’t have to trough down your treats to stop him guzzling them. You should be able to leave your stuff in a communal place till it goes fucking off and he should still not touch it.

Fuck hiding stuff from another adult in your own home!

@scaryteacher - ooo that's naughty behaviour - hiding the evidence 😵

It sounds like he has a problem. Men can have eating disorders too. I think you should stop buying junk food as a temporary measure to stop him from injuring his health and urge him to get some help for his compulsive eating. Three quarters of a bottle of wine and three boxes of chocolate on one go just isn't OK.

You specifically told him to leave you the wine and he still drank it? My heart rate's gone up reading that. I would go nuclear about all of that stuff. Really, really horrible behaviour.

@Singlenotsingle - I'm scared of locusts!!

Picture didn't download . It was a picture of a locust.

@Racecardriver - bit disingenuous of me as he's troughed the chocolates over two nights and there were actually 12 in the box on average (just checked)

Most of the time we eat healthy food choices and often cook from scratch so lots of veg, meat etc .. so feel less worried about the odd box of chocolates once or twice a month or some wine - we work hard and enjoy some treats - I'm not worrying about that angle - it's the hoovering locust ness of it all

Ugh. Call it what it is - selfish and greedy.
If dh ate all the nice stuff, in full knowledge that it meant the other people in the house would go without, it would genuinely change my feelings for him. What does he say about it, op?

@Singlenotsingle - it did - enormous green beast! 😵😱

Oh, OK, maybe not full blown eating disorder then, just a glutton.

Yes glutton!