Locust DH (lighthearted ... well a bit anyway!)

[flumpybear]

My DH is a bloody locust - you can bet your life you buy something nice and it just disappears. It's stupid things like I'll buy ice cream for the family, not just one pot but plenty to go around, and mix of everything we all like, there's something usually small like a Haagen daaz small pot of something which I chose to eat when I'm rewarding myself as I try to be good with eating

You can almost guarantee he'll snaffle it. He comes out with a barrage of excuses like 'it's been there ages' (yes perhaps a week but that's because I wait til I want something, not just hoover it) or 'there was only a tiny bit left' or if he pinches the last of my wine (we drink different types of alcohol ... I literally never even sniff what he chooses as his poison) apparently there's literally every time 'only a small glass left' which is always bollocks! Oh and also bear in mind we live literally 5 minutes from a variety of shops.

So this morning I get up, I went to bed really early as I was tired - I'd bought myself some
Wine (only I drink white wine) and we had some posh chocolates on Friday night to share and I've woken up to literally 1cm of wine left in the bottle (it had 3/4's left which I expressly told him to leave as I wanted some with Sunday lunch today) and all the chocolate eaten - I had 3, there were around 15-20 in the box

I've previously told him it pisses me off, I've also told him psychologically it's a brain fuck because you want to save something for when you want it, except if he hoovers it up like a fucking Dyson then it kind of makes you feel 'oh I'd better eat that treat now otherwise I'll never see it' ... and leads to hiding and all sorts of shit I don't want to feel I need to do in my own home with small treats I buy myself ( I buy treats or nice things for all the family not just me)

Anyway - I'm asking the brutal board for their opinions here - LTB or don't be a selfish wife?! ... or perhaps something in between
Am I the only one? Or do you get the same from your loved ones?

Don't reward yourself for being good with eating with food treats. Buy yourself something nice that he or you can't eat. I've heard candles, bubble bath and lipsticks aren't that delicious.

Google fridge safes with locks on,that should stop him.Only cheap too

Don't reward yourself for being good with eating with food treats. Buy yourself something nice that he or you can't eat. I've heard candles, bubble bath and lipsticks aren't that delicious

Did she say she was rewarding herself for ‘being good’? And maybe she wants a bar of chocolate, not a lipstick. I see things like chocolate as treats, not because I’m rewarding myself for anything but because they’re things I don’t eat all the time (as it wouldn’t be good for me).

@C8H10N4O2 er, yeah, I know. I agree. My point is it's making it explicit that the way things are done in this house now, is that you do not touch private individual's stuff, which is located in X location.

It removes any excuse relating to 'oh it was in with the family cuz' etc and makes it more 'if you transgress this there is no comeback.'

If he still does it I don't know, I'd probably have to LTB - it's bloody selfish behaviour.

ANOTHER SHOCKER ALERT : thought I'd throw in another selfish thing he does - when I'm asleep, if the quilt is all bunched up, he'll lift the whole lot up to fluff out and lay back on the bed .... with a raft of cold air between me and the newly fluffed quilt! It wakes me every time! My best friend told me to divorce him if he did it again ... he didn't get the hint!

At this rate he's not gonna last til dinner @OverTheHedgeSammy ... the patio will be calling him ....

I'll make sure he's replaced the wine first of course

@WizardOfToss - yes it does but it's probably my fault for putting up with it for 22 years and 364 days!
I'm facing it now by talking to you lot ... things will change!

A quilt fluffer!! Is there no end to his crimes?

SoyDora yes OP did at the end of the first paragraph.

Quilt fluffer

Well regardless of her reason for treating herself, she wants food rather than a lipstick or bubble bath! That’s her choice.

This is horrible behaviour- as well as the replacing I would also do the ' why do you think you are more important than me line every time......
I have a young teenage ds and am doing this sort of training now as he doesnt always think through the consequences ....

a friends dh is a bit like this - he blames being 1 of 4 as if you snooze you loose mentality - its sad to see in an adult though, she doesnt buy stuff now as he too would grumble about replacing and has switched to med dry rose which he wont drink!

@SoyDora - i
With you the treat thing - I did say about being good I think, but it's probably more of a mentality of good in the week, bit of wine at weekends and chocolates /pudding etc when I really feel like I wAnt them, it's rare tbh, but does happen, in which case I like to think aahhh now that ice cream is in the freezer.
Hold my hands up to wine, I'm a lover of nice wine and it is a weekend treat as my job is manic, busy, stressful of sorts but I love it and need to work like that otherwise I'd be very low in mood - wine as a treat is better than wine as a way to self medicate when your life isn't going well - I'm definitely the treat mode

Pp who mentioned having different types of treat, I'm not the sort of person who can live a life abstaining from odd treats and wine

I’m still reading the thread and at the fact he does this despite you specifically asking him not to.

My only suggestion would be a fridge locker: www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00BYPHTQ8/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_RxDUBb3YPWKMD?tag=mumsnetforum-21

My DH hoovers up all the treats. He's not a selfish person and he's really very over considerate in most aspects of life. I do buy the occasional thing for myself but I would like to keep myself and I know what you mean when you say that it's not sharing because you just don't get any.

Getting him to actually replaced off is a good start. I think you're going to have to embrace hiding something if you really want to keep it. But hiding an opened bottle of wine is not really feasible. I don't know about you but out of sight I forget that I've opened something and then I leave it and no longer as nice when it's not fresh.

Your best bet is to go on strike and stop buying any treats. You sound quite health-conscious so you can probably embrace this long enough to make a point. Hopefully get it sorted out before Christmas when you're want to have treats back in again.

In the short term I find no one ever looks in my gym bag so it’s a good place for hiding all sorts!

@AviatorShades @KeiTeNgeNge
I know! There's a place in hell already reserved for him

Am I the only one who thinks it’s odd that OP buys treats just for herself? Have you tried buying one for you and the same thing for him?? I’d be a bit upset if DH did all the shopping and he bought a ‘family’ tub of ice cream for everyone and a posh mini ‘DH’ tub of ice cream only for him. I might eat it just to annoy him tbh. After all, if the family tub is good enough for me it should be good enough for him...

Single duvets all the way

@AnguaUberwaldIronfoundersson - fantastic! I'll need a wine bottle shaped one and a freezer one lol 😆

Gym bag .... I swim 4-5 tines a week you can bet I'll be taking wine in the gym regularly

Your best bet is to go on strike and stop buying any treats

Yes the answer to a thoughtless, selfish git is to go without yourself.

He's an adult for god's sake. As a one off he might make a mistake but this is a pattern of behaviour even after being explicitly ask to leave something alone.

What would you think of a woman who behaved like this? Who hoovered up all the treats with no consideration for anyone else?

He prioritises his want for gratification over the OP.

Don't reward yourself for being good with eating with food treats. Buy yourself something nice that he or you can't eat. I've heard candles, bubble bath and lipsticks aren't that delicious

It's not like she's binge eating. If she wants to have an edible treat around the house for when she fancies it she should be able to. Your DH's behaviour would piss me off no end. There's something a bit pathological about it. Either he's doing it as a control thing or he's just a compulsive eater and can't stop himself eating stuff that's there. 'd want it stopped either way. I'd seriously lock it up or just insist he replaces it every single time.

OK, so what's the etiquette here? It's christmas night and there's a large box of after eight mints, cellophane off and ready to go. Some bastard has snook quietly along and eaten them nearly all, leaving the empty envelopes in the box
No shops open cos its christmas night.
Is this a hanging offence?Lots of spare tinsel ropes left over and space on the tree...which judge would convict?

AviatorShades my brother did that exact same thing once when we were teens. My dad always bought an extra box and hid them from then on. I I was not amused!