Being told not to comfort toddler

[strugglingpuggle]

Dd is 2.5. Was quite a bad sleeper, but now is a lot better and will generally put herself to sleep and sleep through. Today she is very over tired as she didn't have her afternoon nap.

Usual bath and bedtime. Story, said goodnight and off I went and she went to sleep. I went downstairs to join dh watching tv. 20 mins later, Dd starting crying. Left her for a few minutes (dh and I have argued in the past about me going to her too quickly So I do now try and wait to see if she will settle herself). After a few more minutes she was still screaming and seemed to be getting more distressed so I said I was going up to see what was wrong.

Dh flipped at this point, started shouting, kicked over a toy that was on the floor nearby and stormed off up to bed.

I went and saw Dd, she was upset, think it was a bad dream and after 10 mins of holding her and calming her down has gone back to sleep.

Dh is now not talking to me as said he's upset that I seemed desperate to get up to her and that I need to sort myself out and should of let her cry it out.

I sleep trained my children between 4 and 6 months so I’m not anti sleep training at all. I would never leave a child crying in distress for more than a minute though.

I don't think this needs to become a debate on CIO in general. Some people are for it and some against it. It's all fine - different people need different amounts of sleep before they feel like they're not coping and all babies are different too.

This thread is about a situation where both parents have different ideas on how to comfort a child - in fact one parent does not want to comfort them in any situation (eg when fallen over) and doesn't want the other parent to do so either and is trying to bully the OP into his way of parenting by being aggressive and sulky and then blaming his behaviour on her.

It's a bigger issue than whether she was right or wrong to go to the toddler

He has also said that I ruined the evening we would have had together, and this morning lay in by going to see Dd last night.

He really sounds like he's jealous of the attention that's being taken away from him, especially the attention that he thinks are unnecessary extras.

HE spoilt the evening by throwing a tantrum and he needs to be told that in no uncertain terms.

If he wanted to be the one to go to her, why didn't he just say "Don't worry puggle, you sit down, I'll go up" when you got up to see to her?

He didn't did he, he wanted her to cry it out.
Can you talk to his mum, will she speak to him, or has she been downtrodden by his dad and a slave them both?

he wanted her to cry it out

It doesn't sound like he wanted her to 'cry it out'. He just wanted her to be neglected so the OP could focus all her attention on him. There's a subtle but very significant difference.

What a dick. I'm so sorry :( you did the right thing, she's a little child and needed her mum. I would have more sympathy if he'd spoken to you like an adult and not a childish nob. I'd be giving him some serious words x