Are these hours reasonable?

[childcareheadache]

Most of my friends and family think I am nuts but my DH will support whatever I end up doing.

I currently work in an incredibly flexible 8-4 job earning just over 50k. I have two toddlers 2 & 3.
In 18 months time I will have to leave my job as it is the end of my contract. I do not want to extend my contract which is a possibility if I wanted to but they can put me in jobs anywhere in the UK, although most likely London/Bristol and or where I am now but they can also give me jobs I dont really want and there is little I can do. I am ready to move on. My career where I am is effectively over.

When I leave my current employment I am essentially career changing although most people manage to keep roughly the same wage.

I am thoroughly miserable in my current role. The job is fine, the people are great but I am just so sick of not progressing and I havent progressed since pregnant with my first. I feel myself slipping into sadness and I dont want to end up depressed.

I have the option to leave this job earlier than 18 months. My boss has said if I find the right thing for me they will let me go early. I am grateful for this flexibility. So I have applied for a temp role for 6 months in a location 55 mins from my house. That is with no traffic. Two sets of roadworks have started on that route which means my morning commute could shoot up to 2 hours. I get up at 6 am anyway so I dont feel put off by it but maybe I should? I know people are going to tell me I am crazy but once I am past the 6 month temp contract, there will hopefully be a permanent job and most likely flexibility to work from home etc.

My problem is my husband will be away for the entire length of this temp job so I have sole responsibility for the kids. I think I will need a nanny. so my main question is, is 0645 - 1830/1900 4 days a week (i can keep my CM for one day) appropriate hours for a nanny and do you think there will be people interested in such a job?

After getting through that awkward way I described my situation - we are both in the military. I am desperate to move on. The idea of still being where I am next summer upsets me immensely. I have a reasonably good shot at this new position and even if I didnt get it there are a few other similar programmes I could apply for. I currently pay out £1800 a month in childcare anyway so I can afford the nanny.

My friends all think I am a bit nuts but are excited for me. My colleagues think I ahve lost my mind. But they are supportive. Is my plan bonkers? Also the traffic may not be that bad and I may be able to work from home some. Although it is an internship so need to be seen and all that.....thoughts?

I have name changed as this is pretty identifying.

I wouldn't be depressed doing 8-4 for 50k. I would struggle to stay jovial over. 2 hour commute 4 days a week.

You're mad. I do a shit commute for £70k. I wouldn't do it for less unless I had no other option. You have a great other option tho. Stick with your current job, don't move for a temp job

Your children would be older too though and in school, so it would be funding wrap around care not a full time employee (a big headache with maternity pay and sickness etc etc, it’s a big deal relying on one person.)

You could also look in to relocating, or there may be other opportunities available at that time.

But I have to leave in 18 months anyway. I am just speeding up that timeline. I am simply delaying the inevitable and delaying second career even further so I will be even older when I leave.

Does anyone have any experience of these hours for a nanny?

Yes, you’re mad. That commute will grind you down in less than a month.

This would be a temporary contract nanny for 5 months until husband comes back and then eldest goes to school. The duration of the internship the children would still be at nursery.

If I left early enough the commute might not be as bad. Hence wondering about early start nanny

is 0645 - 1830/1900 4 days a week (i can keep my CM for one day) appropriate hours for a nanny
Honestly I think the question is,
Is 12 hours a day for 5 days a week reasonable to be away from a 2 and 3 Yr old when they're other parent won't be there either.
Will you see them at all in the week or will Nanny get them up Monday, put them to bed Friday and that be their only adult? OK you have child minder one day so assume you do drop off and pick up but is it basically from bed to bed?

I understand people have to work crazy hours to keep a roof over their head but you don't need to do these hours for that.

I hoensy think you need to see the 18 months out or look for more local

Clearly a moron who can't figure out name changing on my phone.

Also you might get a Nanny willing to do the hours, but possibly not for just 5 months

You're posting under two different usernames, if one is your original ask for your posts to be deleted to avoid outting yourself as you previously mentioned been concerned about.

They go to bed around 730pm at the moment so I would be home in time for bed time and they wake anytime between 6-7 during the week.

How likely is it that a similar opportunity will open up nearer to home within the next 18 months?

So if they wake at 7 you'd only get 30 minutes bed time.
What do you have at the moment?

It is difficult leaving the military as we are not necessarily qualified for a lot of civilian jobs. These are schemes run by big multi nationals for ex military personnel so the same scheme will be on next year but husband will still be sea going so might have the same problem. The other schemes available are London. Similar problem with childcare.

There are possibly other jobs I could get closer to home. I just really liked this one.

At the moment I pick them up at 430pm and we are home by 5pm.

Don’t be so silly.What should make you depressed is the idea of leaving your children for so long when you can be near them every evening for a perfectly good wage.When you look back on your life will you remember you career (where really you’re just a number) or your little children cuddling into you every evening.And I would be saying the same if you were a man.Plenty of time for your career when they’re older.

You are nuts. I'll probably be flamed for this but I don't think not progressing in the 3 years since you have had kids is awful - surely you've been off on maternity for more than half of that?

So they see you every morning and a couple of hiurs before bed. New job they'd see yiu for 30 minutes every night and that would be literally straight from you walking in the door. I just wouldn't.
It's crap. If your DH was about I'd say go for it but they're so young to only see you for 30 minutes a day (Assuming no delays!) and no dad at all

I did similar ( jacked in a reliable local boring job on £50k for something with more prospects but a commute)was the best thing ever. I am now on close to £100k and looking to slipping over in to 3 figures this year and it is in the location of the first job. So I say go for it.

And yes nanny worked these hours, but interspersed with some shorter 9-4 days and days off

For probably half the internship my ILs would relieve the nanny early twice a week as they like to spend time with the kids.

I don't want to end up on ADs. When my kids are 18 they won't remember this period of their lives. It's only 5 months unwil husband is home. He is then in an office for 6 months before sporadic time away. The internship has 100 % conversion to a permanent job. After which there is more flexibility.

Honestly you will all get used to it-go for it

If DH is away could you not get a short term rental much closer to the job to avoid the commute?