Are these hours reasonable?

[childcareheadache]

Most of my friends and family think I am nuts but my DH will support whatever I end up doing.

I currently work in an incredibly flexible 8-4 job earning just over 50k. I have two toddlers 2 & 3.
In 18 months time I will have to leave my job as it is the end of my contract. I do not want to extend my contract which is a possibility if I wanted to but they can put me in jobs anywhere in the UK, although most likely London/Bristol and or where I am now but they can also give me jobs I dont really want and there is little I can do. I am ready to move on. My career where I am is effectively over.

When I leave my current employment I am essentially career changing although most people manage to keep roughly the same wage.

I am thoroughly miserable in my current role. The job is fine, the people are great but I am just so sick of not progressing and I havent progressed since pregnant with my first. I feel myself slipping into sadness and I dont want to end up depressed.

I have the option to leave this job earlier than 18 months. My boss has said if I find the right thing for me they will let me go early. I am grateful for this flexibility. So I have applied for a temp role for 6 months in a location 55 mins from my house. That is with no traffic. Two sets of roadworks have started on that route which means my morning commute could shoot up to 2 hours. I get up at 6 am anyway so I dont feel put off by it but maybe I should? I know people are going to tell me I am crazy but once I am past the 6 month temp contract, there will hopefully be a permanent job and most likely flexibility to work from home etc.

My problem is my husband will be away for the entire length of this temp job so I have sole responsibility for the kids. I think I will need a nanny. so my main question is, is 0645 - 1830/1900 4 days a week (i can keep my CM for one day) appropriate hours for a nanny and do you think there will be people interested in such a job?

After getting through that awkward way I described my situation - we are both in the military. I am desperate to move on. The idea of still being where I am next summer upsets me immensely. I have a reasonably good shot at this new position and even if I didnt get it there are a few other similar programmes I could apply for. I currently pay out £1800 a month in childcare anyway so I can afford the nanny.

My friends all think I am a bit nuts but are excited for me. My colleagues think I ahve lost my mind. But they are supportive. Is my plan bonkers? Also the traffic may not be that bad and I may be able to work from home some. Although it is an internship so need to be seen and all that.....thoughts?

I have name changed as this is pretty identifying.

For an awful lot of human history there would have been "a lack of parental involvment". The upper classes were raised by servants or institutions (look at Prince Charles early life). Working class women's wages were needed to feed the family so children would have been cared for by others once they were weaned. Even if mothers were at home lack of contraception meant huge families and little individual attention, again likely cared for by female relatives after age 1 or so. Having a "primary" carer for 1 or 2 children is a mid 20th century middle class notion, to get women out of the workplace post WW2.
As I said being at home with a parent with untreated mental health issues is far worse for the developing brain than high quality childcare.

If my husband was in an office job in the military like myself, he would have loads of flex. And in fact he has in the past. But he is in a specific role that simply does not offer any flexibility. He will be in this role for 2 years then he will have flex again.

18 months is a long time to be unhappy at work, so I'd go for it if you can make the childcare work. I don't think 7-7 is too long a day for a nanny and might work out cheaper too than childminder + au pair, especially if you factor in food and pocket money for the au pair.

As a PP has mentioned a 2&3 yo is quite a big ask for an au pair. We've had a few au pairs, we tend to go for slightly older ones, but even so we've only had one that I would have left 2 children that age with. You also have the issue that they often don't speak great English and they do need a lot of micromanaging especially in the first month or so. It will be significantly more stressful for you if you don't have capable, reliable childcare.

I'd have a look on nannyjob.co.uk and see what sort of salaries are being offered to nannies in your area.

Don't underestimate the pain of a long commute! I did it once for 2 years. 5 years ago I moved to a job closer to home and I still feel grateful every day for my 20-minute commute.

I didn't even have kids when I was doing it. If there are delays you'll be stressed about being late for work / late home to see kids.

I get that you don't like the current job but is it the only alternative? Mightn't something closer come up in the next 18 months that is more suitable?

This is the situation: 70% of companies say they would employ a veteran. But at the same time only 30 % say they would hire someone with no industry experience. I have no industry experience so in some respects I can't afford to me that fussy!

If I can't do a 8am start I might rethink. If I left home at 0630 I think I could avoid the traffic. So commute would only be an hour.

If you get an au pair that sounds really do-able. Working 7:30-3:30 then you do nursery pick up.

no one asked what the dad could do here
OP made it clear early on that he is away for the entire time and that they're both in the military. So it's not unreasonable to assume that Op's DH has no choice in it. He can't just say ah I think I'm not bother with this deployment, my wife wants to change jobs!

OP made it clear early on that he is away for the entire time and that they're both in the military

Exactly, they are both in the military. The OP is planning on leaving her post early, therefore not unreasonable to ask if her husband has any possibility of flexibility rather than just assume he doesn't.

I am no where near pensionable hence why it isn't a problem for me to leave. Husband gets full pension in under 3 years. Bad financial sense to give that up.

OP - to answer your original question. I live in London and those hours aren't out of the ordinary for nannies here, but that would be at a premium rate - possibly £250/day. That might be different where you are. For an au pair - just be careful about how many hours that they can legally do full-time childcare, then work out your costs for CM/nursery.
Also, do people have au pairs in your area? Will they want to come and live there?

That all sounds a bit London-snobbish - sorry. Just thinking about practicalities.

its could be 4 hours driving per day - that is too much that and the internship and sole care at the weekend of two small child will burn you out

I think everyone at this company are feeling he effects of the roadworks. If I can start early in the morning then it should work. According to the au pair websites it is 30 hours a week max. This will be 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon.

So when would you see your children..?

not unreasonable to ask if her husband has any possibility of flexibility rather than just assume he doesn't
Op's flexibility and the fact she can leave early is l, I'd have thought, unusual for the military. So assuming that her DH being away not just working unsociable hours isn't flexible isn't about him owning a penis it's about assuming the military usually isn't very flexible around ah boss can I finish early for a few months cos of the kids or can I just not get posted for 6 months cos I need to do school drop offs

I am already in my resettlement period and my service is pretty good at releasing early if you find a job