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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

that school won’t cut me any slack for double drop offs?

539 replies

Polkadotdash · 05/10/2018 15:48

We moved house in the summer and we’ve ended up with three kids at two different primary schools. I accept that it is what it is and we have to just fit in where there are places. However, after a month of nearly killing myself to drop kids off at both schools, two miles apart who start at exactly the same time, I’ve asked both schools if they can help to take the pressure off me by accepting one child five mins early and maybe dropping the late mark drama for the other children. Neither school will budge. One school has a breakfast club which they’ve suggested I use for £5 a day. £25 per week, nearly £1000 per school year for five mins care (no food required). I can’t afford this.
It’s all been capped off today by one parent (who I don’t know) shouting something at me about the importance of not being late when I was trying to make my four year old run up the hill to school. I can’t put up with this for the next 5 years. What should I do? Should the school be more caring?

OP posts:
LemonBreeland · 05/10/2018 15:52

Is the fact the children are in different schools due to your not being able to get them all in the same school? If so then you should definitely get some slack, or lodge an appeal with the LA that you have an impossible school run.

Can one or two of your DC not be dropped off earlier in the playground and left? Is there no playground supervision in the mornings? My DC start school at 8.45 but there is playground supervision from 8.30, meaning I can drop them at that time.

caitlinohara · 05/10/2018 15:53

Are both schools so oversubscribed that this is a permanent arrangement? How odd. How old is your oldest child?

MrsDc7 · 05/10/2018 15:53

I’m in the same situation. I would just drop one of them off late every day and have them on the waiting list for the other school. Late marks aren’t the end of the world when it’s only 5-10 mins and it isn’t worth stressing yourself about

Hwory · 05/10/2018 15:54

I appreciate your predicament but you can’t expect the school to be okay with a child being late everyday or to look after your child before school starts every day for free.

Cuckooitstrue · 05/10/2018 15:55

How old are your big ones? Can you leave them waiting at the school gate and they go in at school opening?

SilverLining10 · 05/10/2018 15:56

I dont think it's up to the school to sort this as there could then be many other parents with different situations.

Do you know of any of the other parents living close by that would be willing to help drop off one of your DC?

MrsMattWillis · 05/10/2018 15:56

I have this problem but with the same primary school being spread across two sites and starting at the same time

Tobebythesea · 05/10/2018 15:56

I would also be on the waiting list for the other school and for 1 child to be permanently late. You physically cannot be on two places at the same time and paying £1000 a year is ridiculous.

123bananas · 05/10/2018 15:59

Write a letter to each school head and copy in the education department detailing the issue. Suggest that they find a solution that doesn't involve you having to pay £1000 for a choice that wasn't yours. If they are repeatedly late and it is referred to the schools welfare officer then you will have the difficulty on record. You cannot physically be in two places at once and being 5 minutes late does not impact on learning as they won't have even started lessons yet. Oh and ignore the other parents it is non of their business.

Haireverywhere · 05/10/2018 15:59

What a frustrating situation. Are you appealing?

I have never heard of playground supervision and I'm guessing that's not an option as they've both said they won't accept an early child (unless at BC) or a late child. What other options are there?

I would accept the late mark too but it would be crap if they commented to your child about being late every day.

Meltedicicle · 05/10/2018 16:00

My friend in this situation found a childminder near the furthest away school, who was happy to have the child for 5 mins and walk them in. Is that any option?

rainingcatsanddog · 05/10/2018 16:01

When I moved my local council offered 3 different schools for my kids but advised me that one of them had space for all 3 (third preference school)

Can you ask the council where the nearest school with spaces for both kids is?

AnnieAnoniMouse · 05/10/2018 16:02

With attitudes like that I’d be looking for a third school!

But given that’s probably not an option either, I’d pick the school I preferred, drop off there as early as possible and deal with the fall out from dropping off late at the other until I could either leave them to wait by themselves or find a couple of parents that wouldn’t mind ‘walking them in’ when I dropped them off.

Whatever you do, stop stressing about it. Life’s too short. Do your best, let them wring their hands over it 🍹

CurlsLDN · 05/10/2018 16:03

The food at breakfast club costs pennies (eg a bowl of cornflakes) it's the care you're paying for, and you need the care.
Unfortunately there are lots of parents who have circumstances outside of their control that mean they can't do drop off, that's why the kids are at breakfast club. I doubt anyone is sending their kids there just because they fancy it! In my case im a single parent in a full time job. I have to accept the breakfast club bill in the same vein I do my water bill or electric bill. It's just got to be done. I'd recommend trying to look at it that way and seeing if you can find the money, as you can't carry on as you are.

On the other hand this situation is difficult so if there's any chance of moving your children to the same school I'd be contacting the school admissions people and starting an appeal so you can get a better situation long term

Namechanger55555 · 05/10/2018 16:06

Do neither schools have the children playing in the playground before school starts?

youarenotkiddingme · 05/10/2018 16:06

Would breakfast club offer a discount?

My son did a breakfast and ASC club via a minibus that collected from various schools - club was at a centre. They charged £1 for minibus per child and as I met them in car park they charged me BC club plus £1. They could fill the space from the school onsite because if ratios.

They may agree to a £5 a week deal for just 5 minutes a day.

TheOrigFV45 · 05/10/2018 16:08

I'm confused. In my life as both a school child and parent I've never had to get a child at school for a specific on the dot time, it's been a window of time, say gates open 8.30am and kids have to be in by 8.45am.

Supervision starts from 8.30am.

Original poster
Polkadotdash · 05/10/2018 16:08

Thanks. Unfortunately the problem can’t be solved by getting the children under one roof. Where we’ve moved to has an infants/juniors split. One in year 3 and juniors and one in Reception. Both schools are oversubscribed and I had to appeal to get my year 6 child squeezed in as an overcapacity on the basis it’s for one year only. Wasn’t by design at all.
We don’t know anyone locally. And I’m missing any ‘chat in the playground’ kind of opportunity to meet other parents as I’m just racing between schools. I’m also keen not to come over like the woman in Motherland who’s always looking for a favour!
I’m not keen on leaving my 7 year old on his own by the gate at his school just so that I can get to the other school.

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 05/10/2018 16:10

Pay for breakfast club. And use it for longer than 5 min a day.

sailorcherries · 05/10/2018 16:10

What happens when the older ones head to secondary? They will still be at two different schools.

This is a situation faced by many parents and they manage. Children don't need to be dropped at 8.55 for a 9.00 start. Drop them 10 minutes earlier and everyone will be fine.

mumofmunchkin · 05/10/2018 16:11

Given it's an infant/junior school split issue, I assume that there are other parents in this situation - is there any way you can find out how others manage it?

LoudBatPerson · 05/10/2018 16:11

I think, as unfortunate as the situation is, it is one of those times when neither school can really offer you a solution.

A child cannot be late every day, nor can a school provide free care each morning. The teachers will likely have meeting and prep up until the children arrive, and someone needs to fund the staffing levels for the breakfast club.

I do sympathise, we found ourselves in the same situation, although due to one child requiring a very specialist SEN school.

We had to pay for before and after school care, although we only needed it for 10 minutes in the morning and 15-20 minutes after school. The after school was the largest cost as again only a flat rate available, so had to pay for the whole 2 hour session, there just was not a way around it.

sailorcherries · 05/10/2018 16:13

At 7 many children are getting a school bus themselves and then left in the playground once dropped.
Dropping him slightly earlier shouldn't be a massive issue.

Butterymuffin · 05/10/2018 16:13

As a pp said, look for a nearby child minder or after school club that also does morning drop off. Cheaper at least.

Original poster
Polkadotdash · 05/10/2018 16:15

One school opens gates at 8.40 for a 8.50 start. Other school opens gates at 8.40 for 8.50 start. 15 mins to drive/park/walk between schools. Never gonna make it, even if everything else goes to plan (gate opened on time, no traffic etc).
I worked on the assumption I would just ignore the late marks, but it’s not much fun. And then when another parent is commenting, even less fun.
I’m even thinking if I can still deferring my Reception child’s place, but I guess that just delays the same problem next year.

OP posts: