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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

that school won’t cut me any slack for double drop offs?

539 replies

Polkadotdash · 05/10/2018 15:48

We moved house in the summer and we’ve ended up with three kids at two different primary schools. I accept that it is what it is and we have to just fit in where there are places. However, after a month of nearly killing myself to drop kids off at both schools, two miles apart who start at exactly the same time, I’ve asked both schools if they can help to take the pressure off me by accepting one child five mins early and maybe dropping the late mark drama for the other children. Neither school will budge. One school has a breakfast club which they’ve suggested I use for £5 a day. £25 per week, nearly £1000 per school year for five mins care (no food required). I can’t afford this.
It’s all been capped off today by one parent (who I don’t know) shouting something at me about the importance of not being late when I was trying to make my four year old run up the hill to school. I can’t put up with this for the next 5 years. What should I do? Should the school be more caring?

OP posts:
steppemum · 05/10/2018 16:29

Oh sorry, missed the post with your timings in

Angelil · 05/10/2018 16:29

Drop off the eldest children as early as the school will let you, then drop off the younger one at the other school. Is it not as easy as this? Can the Year 6 child not look after the 7-year-old until it is time to go in? Or am I missing something?

ShalomJackie · 05/10/2018 16:30

Surely you drop the year 6 and year 3 off early and the year 6 looks after the year 3 while you get your other child to school. I assume there is no partner on the scene to step up to taking responsibility for their children.

Lots of working parents have to pay for breakfast club or after school care. Thatvis why the school cannot assume responsibility for your child/ren otherwise everyone else in the same situation would have to be catered for too.

StrawberryDaiquiriPlease · 05/10/2018 16:32

Can you get a childminder to do the school run?

Deadbudgie · 05/10/2018 16:32

Just use the breakfast club. It is there for parents who can’t drop off on time. We have to use it as both of us have to be in work at the drop off time. His means we don’t get to join in the school yard chat either lol. But you could do this by using breakfast club.

Angelil · 05/10/2018 16:32

(even if this means the Year 6 child is waiting outside the gates with the Year 3 child for 5-10 minutes before the gates officially open...I'm still not sure I see what the problem is)

CaramelAngel · 05/10/2018 16:32

I think there's a reception child in one school and year 3 and year 6 child in the other

steppemum · 05/10/2018 16:33

I agree with OP, I would not be happy for kids waiting on the pavement outside the gate, very different to waiting in the playground.

For those confused:
year 6 and year 3 (aged 7) at one school
reception at other school

Cobrider · 05/10/2018 16:33

I had to pay for both ends of the day for a year and was really struggling. We were in a very low income and got it subsidised. Does this happen any more? This was ten years ago.
It was my choice to move though.

HotSauceCommittee · 05/10/2018 16:33

The year six child could look after himself. My year six goes early to play with his mates before school starts.
I don’t know about paying for breakfast club, especially if you really believe you can’t afford it. It’s like you are paying twice; tax and national insurance to fund the schools by working and then for the difficulty the education system (which you paid for !) is putting you in. It’s not fair, OP, you really have my sympathies.

Oliversmumsarmy · 05/10/2018 16:34

I am still a bit surprised that it is not workable with just 2 miles between them. I assume you are driving? Unless it is a very congested area that is only going to take 5 mins

It would take 15 minutes+ just to find a parking space and as for leaving dc in an unsupervised playground with other parents milling around. No way would I have done that.
Schools were in a quite nice area but it didn’t stop parents having huge fights rolling around the playground.

I had this problem for 2 years. Completely unworkable. HT always going on about how late I was to pick eldest up. One of them always late.

Other parents had grandparents, aunties , sisters husbands who would do the drop off.

Allalittlebitshit2019 · 05/10/2018 16:34

If your youngest child is only 4 then their is no legal requirement for them to be in school till the term after their 5. So any late marks dont count until such time. Not a long term solution but one for a short while. Take your eldest so their on time then just take your youngest in 5 min late, in reception class the kids take ages to settle down, so they wont have missed anything.
See if either schools have a fb page, there may well be another parent struggling with the same issue, you could swop a child and take it in terns.

SleepWarrior · 05/10/2018 16:36

Does the school have a facebook group or similar that you could join and see if anyone is in a similar position? There may be someone who would want to share drops off so one of you did juniors and one infants.

Ask kids round for playdates and get to know their parents - again, there may be someone.

As a pp suggested, ask the school if they could do £1/2 a day for only 5mins care. They can't be expected to do it for free and that would be much more affordable.

Please don't worry about what that parent said. It bothered you because it hit a raw nerve and even if they were being rude they probably had no idea that it would upset you to that extent. Let it go.

Racecardriver · 05/10/2018 16:39

Can't their father do drop off for one school?

MiddleClassProblem · 05/10/2018 16:40

There’s a yr6, a yr 3, and one reception age? Why can’t the year 6 be early (with yr 7 if same school)? We used to walk to school alone at that age and they allow it here so surely 5 mins in the playgryis nothing. Or is it because of the year 7 they don’t allow it?

pumpkin1209 · 05/10/2018 16:42

£5 a day for breakfast club??! My daughters primary school charges £1 a day..

And I feel your pain. I have 3 children at 3 schools in 3 towns. Youngest DD has ASD and goes to a special needs school and so has transport provided. However if the transport is late due to weather/roadworks etc it has a knock-on effect and makes everyone late. I explained the situation to the schools when they kept my middle DC in at brealtime as a punishment for being 2 mins late. I went to the school and explained the situation and they were very understanding. Maybe try arranging a meeting with the head? They should be trying to help however they can.

user1495884620 · 05/10/2018 16:42

When does your four year old turn five? And is a space likely to come up in the next few months. As they are not yet compulsory school age, you could defer their start until after christmas or easter. If a place doesn't come up, you still have the same problem, but at least you have time to make friends and network and try and work out a solution.

Jeezoh · 05/10/2018 16:47

The solution is there but you just don’t want to take it. Pay for the breakfast club and problem is solved, I’m not really understanding the reasoning for not other than you don’t want to pay out for it. Why should the school make an exception for you?

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 05/10/2018 16:48

£5 a day for breakfast club??! My daughters primary school charges £1 a day..

Our school clubs are actually run by an organisation rather than the school. It's £5.50 for breakfast club and £10 for 3 hours after school with a minimum £9 for up to 2 hours.

Gersemi · 05/10/2018 16:54

Is either school more than two miles from your home? If so, and if there is no nearer suitable school with places, the local authority will have to provide transport.

LusaCole · 05/10/2018 16:54

In these circumstances I wouldn't be paying for childcare or leaving my children out on the street, so I think you just have to accept the late marks. Poor OP, this sounds very stressful for you Brew

GooseDownCreek · 05/10/2018 16:56

If the Y6 and the Y3 are at the same school they could be dropped together 10 minutes early leaving 20 minutes to get to the other school.

YeTalkShiteHen · 05/10/2018 16:58

£5 a day is really expensive. Prohibitively so for many families I would think. We’re £5 a week for one child, I certainly couldn’t do £25 a week. Well I could but it would be a stretch.

Dramaticmuch · 05/10/2018 17:01

Are you in receipt of benefits/ free school meals? If so, ask the school to pay for breakfast club with pupil premium maybe?

Chipsahoy · 05/10/2018 17:04

I have a yr 6 and yr 3. No way would I drop them ten mins early if the gate wasn't open. I'm not having them hanging around the street outside nor would it be fair for my ten yr old to watch my 7 yr old.

Op my sis in law has been in a similar position for years. She doesnt kill herself to get them to school on time anymore. One child is always a little late. When the school moans, she writes a letter to say that she can't be in two places at once and they need to take it up with county council.
No way should you have to pay childcare because they haven't got enough places in schools. The onus is on them to find spaces and if they can't, then they can hardly be penalising parents for lateness.