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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

that school won’t cut me any slack for double drop offs?

539 replies

Polkadotdash · 05/10/2018 15:48

We moved house in the summer and we’ve ended up with three kids at two different primary schools. I accept that it is what it is and we have to just fit in where there are places. However, after a month of nearly killing myself to drop kids off at both schools, two miles apart who start at exactly the same time, I’ve asked both schools if they can help to take the pressure off me by accepting one child five mins early and maybe dropping the late mark drama for the other children. Neither school will budge. One school has a breakfast club which they’ve suggested I use for £5 a day. £25 per week, nearly £1000 per school year for five mins care (no food required). I can’t afford this.
It’s all been capped off today by one parent (who I don’t know) shouting something at me about the importance of not being late when I was trying to make my four year old run up the hill to school. I can’t put up with this for the next 5 years. What should I do? Should the school be more caring?

OP posts:
MiggledyHiggins · 05/10/2018 16:15

Off topic but the random parent who told you off for being slightly late Shock

bet they are on the pta

RavenWings · 05/10/2018 16:16

The school is not there to provide free childcare so yes, you'd be unreasonable to expect them to take kids in early. Teachers are using that time for their own prep and breakfast etc.

Either use breakfast club or find a minder who will do drop off for you.

DewDropsonKittens · 05/10/2018 16:16

Have a look on childcare.co.uk for a childminder locally.

upsideup · 05/10/2018 16:16

I'd just leave the 7 year old is the playground for 5 minutes, they'll be teachers/parents and probably some of their friends to play with.

CaramelAngel · 05/10/2018 16:16

What happens when the older ones head to secondary? They will still be at two different schools
Secondary school children normally get themselves to school

Original poster
Polkadotdash · 05/10/2018 16:17

I was devestated. I don’t know anyone there and yet there they are, judging me and worse my child.

OP posts:
CaramelAngel · 05/10/2018 16:17

Could the year 6 child mind the younger one so you can drop them earlier to get to the other school?

SocksRock · 05/10/2018 16:18

Could you do it by bike? Would that gain you the 5min you need?

Butterflycookie · 05/10/2018 16:18

I was left in the playground at that age. Once a teacher saw me standing in the cold and It was snowing so took me inside to reception. Can you drop them off at the schools reception and just leave them to wait for 5 mins in the seating area?

irregularegular · 05/10/2018 16:19

If this is due to a split between the infant and junior school, then there must surely be lots of parents in exactly the same situation. Have you asked what other parents do? Are they splitting the runs between them so some parents take to infants and others to juniors.

I am still a bit surprised that it is not workable with just 2 miles between them. I assume you are driving? Unless it is a very congested area that is only going to take 5 mins, so I would have thought that you would have enough time to drop off the older child 15 mins before school starts and then the younger child. Like everyone else, I have never heard of a school that doesn't take children at 8.45 for a 9.00 start (say).

Original poster
Polkadotdash · 05/10/2018 16:19

I wouldn’t be leaving the 7 year old in the playground, he’d be standing on the street for 10 mins until the gate opened to go into the playground. I’m not comfortable doing that.
And unless I can find a childminder that does it for free, I can’t afford it

OP posts:
steppemum · 05/10/2018 16:19

OK, so what do all the other parents do who have kids in infants and juniors?
This must be a common problem.
OR your kids are not in the infantts that feeds into that junior school.
If this is the case, then you need to get your reception child into the infanst that feeds into the junior school your year 3 child is in.
If this is the closest infant school, then what do the other parents do?
This must be a common problem.

Where we have infants and juniors they are close and there is a staggered start between them to allow for exactly this. Somehow you have ended up with a mismatch.

I agree with this:
Write a letter to each school head and copy in the education department detailing the issue. Suggest that they find a solution that doesn't involve you having to pay £1000 for a choice that wasn't yours. If they are repeatedly late and it is referred to the schools welfare officer then you will have the difficulty on record. You cannot physically be in two places at once and being 5 minutes late does not impact on learning as they won't have even started lessons yet. Oh and ignore the other parents it is non of their business.

GetOnYerBike · 05/10/2018 16:20

A childminder might charge a lot less than the breakfast club. I would start ringing round to see if anyone has any spaces.

Also childminders usually talk to each other so usually know if someone has spaces.

Can you not drop the year 6 child early and then take the younger 7 year old in on time?

notdaddycool · 05/10/2018 16:20

Most infant / juniors I know come as a pair, have you got kids in two halves of two pairs? In which case can the reception one go on a waiting list at another infants nearer the junior school?

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 05/10/2018 16:21

Our primary school opens the gates from 8:30am for an 8:45am bell. Do your schools literally allow the kids in as the bell rings? That can't be right, surely.

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 05/10/2018 16:21

Didn't see the second page, massive cross post!

steppemum · 05/10/2018 16:21

so the playground gate is not opened until going in time, and then they have to go straight in?
That is very unusual, normally there is a 10-15 minute drop off period.

Satsumaeater · 05/10/2018 16:22

Ignore the late marks and the sanctimonious parent.

Carry on what you are doing.

What else can you do, if you can't afford to throw money at the problem?

irregularegular · 05/10/2018 16:22

Sorry, have read your follow-up now. I can see that 10 mins is very tight, especially if you can't park close to the school.

Surely, surely there must be a deal with another parent to be done here, that will make life easier for both of you. Is there some parent e-mail list/whatsapp/FB group that you could use?

sirfredfredgeorge · 05/10/2018 16:23

So your year 6 is in a third school, as I'm missing why they can't be with the year 3 kid for the short time?

In any case, it's certainly not 1000 for 5 years, it's a short time until you are happy with your 7 year old waiting by themselves, as others have said it's a common capability in the age group, so it's one I'm sure you can get to with yours, and in any case in a few years the infant and junior split will no longer exist.

The schools should be a little more understanding of the difficulty, but then your complaint was about another parent, not the schools. I'm surprised a junior/infant school in the same region don't have different start times specifically for this problem, the ones around here do, perhaps 2 miles apart is too far, is there little overlap in them?

00100001 · 05/10/2018 16:25

I'm really confused by your posts

do you have 2 children, or 3? And which schools do they go to?

00100001 · 05/10/2018 16:25

I'm really confused by your posts

do you have 2 children, or 3? And which schools do they go to?

Sirzy · 05/10/2018 16:25

I assume the Infants and juniors aren’t schools that are normally linked then?

If they are then what do other parents do?

Bunnybigears · 05/10/2018 16:28

Why is it the 7 year old who has to be left early, surely it would make more sense for the year 6 child to be left early/make their own way to school?

buttyblahblah · 05/10/2018 16:29

We had this but just had to pay for breakfast club and after school club, it cost a fortune and was completely pointless but neither school could or would offer anything else.