that school won’t cut me any slack for double drop offs?

[Polkadotdash]

We moved house in the summer and we’ve ended up with three kids at two different primary schools. I accept that it is what it is and we have to just fit in where there are places. However, after a month of nearly killing myself to drop kids off at both schools, two miles apart who start at exactly the same time, I’ve asked both schools if they can help to take the pressure off me by accepting one child five mins early and maybe dropping the late mark drama for the other children. Neither school will budge. One school has a breakfast club which they’ve suggested I use for £5 a day. £25 per week, nearly £1000 per school year for five mins care (no food required). I can’t afford this.
It’s all been capped off today by one parent (who I don’t know) shouting something at me about the importance of not being late when I was trying to make my four year old run up the hill to school. I can’t put up with this for the next 5 years. What should I do? Should the school be more caring?

So the reception and year 6 child are in one school (that has split infant/juniors) and the year 3 child is in the other school?

If you cant afford the breakfast club you cant afford it. Sometimes I don't think people on MN live in the real world. I wonder how many people could just find an extra £100 a month.

I think one group of children will just have to be late. It's better being 5 minutes late and safe than left unattended. Put your situation in writing to the schools and LA so you are covered if they complain.
And try and ignore the busybody (easier said than done I know!)

for you OP this must be so frustrating.

Don’t leave a y3 with a Y6! You’ll be up for neglect and in for a whole world of new shit.

Just carry on doing your best and try not to let the flack affect you too much.

As pp said, get it in writing that you’re doing your utmost best with a very difficult situation.

Thanks. Unfortunately the problem can’t be solved by getting the children under one roof. Where we’ve moved to has an infants/juniors split. One in year 3 and juniors and one in Reception.

Why did you move there knowing that the school drop off was going to be such a problem? It's not the school's problem, you chose to live there.

Sorry if I’ve confused you all. The Reception and year 6 kids are at the linked infants/juniors (on same site). The middle child is in year 3 at the other school.
If the two older ones had been at the same junior school it would be easier as I could probably trust them if I left them on the pavement but I think it would be too much to ask the 10 year old to look after the four year old whilst I dropped the 7 year old. If that makes sense.
I thought it would be ok just to slip in a few mins late to the Reception class but the doors are shut at 8.50am prompt and then you have to go a queue up in the school office for a late mark. It’s really no fun at all.

It would be a lot less stressful to drop one in plenty of time a time the breakfast club, and then you wouldn't be late with the others. Not sure if you've said you can't afford it or don't see it as a good use of money.

When I had similar circs - the heads gave me staff car park passes. It really took the pressure off - because could drop off a child without unloading the other kids iyswim - which hugely speeded me up.

The other thing I did was to be very tactical with out of school activities (ie the clubs that run before and after school that link directly with the School). These were sometimes free, or often good value (eg there was a netball club in the mornings which was £1 a session).

You need to pay for breakfast club.
Unfortunately YABU, what if every parent needed just 5 mins more.
You could try a childminder they may be cheaper, could you book just 30 mins before school each day?

Is there not another Mum who wouldn’t mind watching your child for five minutes each morning in the school playground? If they are watching their own surely out of a class of 20 or so children one Mum would be willing, i know i would.

Brizzle I’m happy for you that your life is so stable and predictable that you can’t foresee any reasons why people of school aged children might need to move house.

You realise that it’s not possibly to apply for school places before you complete the move, right? So everyone who moves is rolling the dice with School place availability.

I Assume you have the yr 3 on the waiting list to go to the same school as his / her siblings?

Try writing a letter to the governors about your situation as I know from juniors they are allowed to have 31 in a class instead of the normal 30.

You are not being unreasonable. I had a friend in your situation and one of the schools agree to her child’s being dropped off a little early to the office and then being picked up a few minutes late from the school office too until she could get them all into one school.

Don’t worry about other parents commenting as they clearly don’t have enough going on in their own lives if they can criticise someone they don’t even know. If the school complain you can tell them you are waiting to get kids into same school and are happy for any assistance they can provide with helping to push that along.

I’d say the reception kid can be late as they still do play-based learning. But what happens next year? You’ll have one in Y4 and the other in Y1. Same problem, so I can see why neither school is budging. You’re asking that a child be late for the rest of time they attend school there.

Are either schools within a mile or so of home ?
If so, kids at that school could walk

How far are the schools?

If it isn’t walking distance (over 3 miles iirc, possibly less for an under 8) then the school are obliged to provide transport. So you may be entitled to a taxi or a bus pass.

Get their father to do some drop offs.
I know it's hard, we moved half way through the school year and had to have what was available.
I couldn't afford all the care, so stopped working, we have never looked back.
Some use the clubs but what do you do when netball isn't running and school are expecting you to pick up and you are at work?

The problem is too many people expect others to make adjustments because they work, and school isn't free childcare apart from the hours it operates.

Oh and complaining/letter writing/appealing makes bugger all difference. We have an “unreasonable journey” admitted at appeal. But how a child gets to school isn’t their concern. They expect a junior age child to be able to get themselves to school.

Is it worth posting on a local fb site and see if there’s anyone you can liftshare with, or they can walk with?

I used to be responsible for attendance at a primary school. Other LAs may well be different, but in my school the process was that I recorded absences and lates on a database, verified with parents and then reported on a weekly basis to the head and termly to the LA Attendance Officer.

If a child's attendance was poor or they were regularly late, I would have meetings with parents to discuss issues they faced and come to solutions that worked for everyone. I would discuss the cases with the HoS and the Attendance Officer and then I would record these meetings and feedback to them.

While a lot of the language around attendance is threatening, it comes from the significant safeguarding responsibilities placed on schools and local authorities. I know that, depending on circumstances relating to the above, families were treated differently.

The reason I've gone in to that detail is that if you can find the person in the school whose job it is to monitor attendance and speak to them (rather than, say, the class teacher or admin/office staff) you might be able to find a workable solution.

Otherwise I advise as another poster said:

Write a letter to each school head and copy in the education department detailing the issue. Suggest that they find a solution that doesn't involve you having to pay £1000 for a choice that wasn't yours. If they are repeatedly late and it is referred to the schools welfare officer then you will have the difficulty on record. You cannot physically be in two places at once and being 5 minutes late does not impact on learning as they won't have even started lessons yet. Oh and ignore the other parents it is non of their business.

You realise that it’s not possibly to apply for school places before you complete the move, right? So everyone who moves is rolling the dice with School place availability.

No, that's not the case - we moved areas and had the new school places confirmed in writing before we moved. We applied from our out of area address, the schools were happy to confirm that they had places available.

Why can't your Year 6 child take charge of the other child at their school? Or, if they are the one going to the other school (I'm a bit confused) surely they can go by themselves?

Are either schools within a mile or so of home
If so, kids at that school could walk

most schools would not allow a year 3 child to walk. Unless the OP can get the year 3 child in, the problem is not solved, as the reception child still needs dropping off.

Sorry OP I had misunderstood that it was the year 3 in the other school.
OK, my plan would be this:
Write again to both schools. Ask for subsidised place in year 3 breakfast club, or that they will continue to be late.
State clearly what your long term goal would be.
I would want to year 3 child to move to the same school as the others.
Repeat to school, if a place could be found for year 3 in X school, the problem will be solved.

Strategically, I would make the reception/year 6 the late ones, and say to THAT school, the lateness will stop if you find a year 3 place, they have 2 late kids, v. one place to find!

I would check with LEA that you are still on the waiting list for that school for year 3. Then phone once a month and ask. It is very unlikely that there won;t be some movement in kids over the next 6 months. You may not be at no.1 on the waiting list, but once one child has gone, the school may be prepared to wriggle a bit (legally at the moment if you are no. 2, they cannot let you in unless they let no. 1 in too)

Hang on in there, something will shift, Keep putting it in writing that you can't be in two places at once and can't afford £1,000

No, that's not the case - we moved areas and had the new school places confirmed in writing before we moved

Great. Not every LA does that.

Polkadotdash "I was devestated. I don’t know anyone there and yet there they are, judging me and worse my child." Do not be devastated, who cares if you are late. People who are really punctual think it is really important, it's just not. Not in the real world.

It's a shame not to be on time and all that but at the end of the day you are a single parent with three kids so what is one is late a bit! I am married and when I only had one child we were late a lot! Do you know what happened? Nothing. In answer to your question yes, schools should be more caring.

I think the school probably don't feel obliged to break their very necessary lateness rules for you, because this is a situation that you are responsible for.

To be honest, as other people have pointed out, breakfast club has to be used by many parents who in an ideal world wouldn't want to. That is the help that your school are providing for you right there! You don't get owt for nowt these days and they are rarely run for a profit.

Lastly, maybe this is something you should have thought about when you moved house..how you were going to do the school run. Surely you didn't expect one of your kids could be late every day without it being a problem?

brizzle - that is very unusual, and only works if the school has actual spaces, which is getting to be pretty rare
Op has said all the schools are over subscribed as they are in some parts of the country.
In that case the LEA won't look at your application until you have an address within their borough and they are obliged by law to find you a place somewhere.

Hopefully, you can get the two younger kids into the same school. Once the third child is in high school it will be easier.

I don't think it would be realistic to pay £1K a year to save one child 5 minutes a day. Why not meet and talk to both heads/or class teachers and see who can offer you a better solution.

I'd also be looking to see if there is another school option.

Great advice from steppemum

Some very nasty judggey posters on this thread OP. Presumably they just don't get we don't all make all our decisions knowing all the facts. Maybe the OP thought her kids would go to the same school, like the majority of school kids do!