To think people who claim they never remember names are dicks?

[FirstOfHerName]

I'm not talking about people who genuinely forget names but rather those who, upon introduction, say "oh I'm terrible with names, I'll never remember yours". To me it's just rude and more or less saying you're not important enough to remember.

I don't mind if I meet someone and then see them a few weeks later and they've forgotten my name - that's not unusual at all, but AIBU to think those who immediately claim they can't remember names just can't be arsed?

I always find these people also make a massive point of adding ‘But I ALWAYS remember faces’. Bully for you - you can recognise someone 🙄

Yabu

I have a very poor memory for names and faces, always have had.

I try to manage it at work eg make notes of who's at table in meetings.

Not always possible and I do say I'm terrible with names in a pre emotive "it's not you it's me" way.

I have always had trouble learning by rote as well, just how I am. I recently found out that most people can visualise things in their heads- I spent my life not realising it wasn't a figure of speech or something! I don't get pics, struggle to remember names/ faces, could be connected.

I could not say anything but if I'm training for eg it looks pretty shit if I've forgotten a name petty much as soon as been told it!

I thought I was being polite tbh not sure what to do now.

I genuinely cannot recognise people. It’s quite difficult sometimes.

However, I will remember whatever we discussed forever.

These people?

I can't remember faces either.

Seems I'm a total bitch, huh.

It depends on how it's said - I'm sure there's a difference in how you do it and the people who loudly announce it like they're the most important people in the room.

I’ve never had anyone say that on being introduced.

I'm pants at names and faces tbh. I tend to try and tell people at intro so know it's no indication of how I feel about them when I inevitably forget their name.

I can't remember names but will remember everything they have said. It's worse when you are introduced to lots of people at the same time.

I don't announce it but am awful with names. Only obvious when I say "nice to meet you" and they say "good to see you again"

YABVU. And a dick yourself.

I'm shit at remembering names, I'm dyslexic, its connected, I really can't help it but I'm not going to introduce myself by saying "hi I'm dyslexic please excuse me if I can't remember your name" but I might say "hi I'm Cleaner, you are .... I'm crap at remembering names but I'll try"

@stoneofdestiny it's horrendous, isn't it? Introduce me to a group and I just feel like a failure waiting to happen!

My DH has a theory that it's to do with eyesight, that you learn the skill of facial recognition as a very small child but if you don't see properly until corrective eyewear is introduced you lose the skill forever. I'd be interested to hear from people who can corroborate or refute that.

I can't remember names and I'm not that good at remembering faces either. I can assure you that it's not because I'm a dick (🙄) . I work with different people every week and it causes me a lot of stress, I'd love to remember. I think I worry about it and I forget even more. Sometimes I do say that "please forgive me if I forget you're name, I'm hopeless-" line, who knew it winds people like the op up even more!

I try very hard to remember names, but fail miserably. Probably partly because I have a very poor facial memory. It's embarrassing, but nothing I've tried works. So nice to know you think I'm a dick. Have a

It isn't rude. I used to be able to remember names, although I always had.to put in a lot of effort to remember them
But I genuinely forget them almost as soon as being told them nowadays and my old remembering techniques don't help any more. I just draw a blank. I am sorry you find it rude and think I am being a dick I find it frustrating and worrying. I have even wondered if I am developing some sort of early dementia.

I have this week for instance forgotten to pay the nominal 50p parking fee at work on TWO occasions resulting in two £40 fines. I can't see how this is being ' rude' . Forgetting names is part of the same deterioration in my memory that has come with ages/ menopause. I am so sorry you think it is rude but frankly the.problem is much worse for me than it is for the person whose name I forget.

I've had this too. I'm meeting somebody through acquaintances for maybe the third time, although could be in say five years, but still. I remember them, because of my, em, brain, and yet they seem to have no memory of me. Am I wrong to think they're being so coooooool, they can't just say ''oh hello again''. You get a spiel about how they can't remember your name.

You can, in fact, have my very first . Congratulations.

@imnotonlinkedinno yes, you are wrong to think that. In many cases, if not all.

@memoryofsleep I never wore glasses, so don't have that excuse. As an adult I think I forget things because I'm worrying about what I need to say or do, so am perhaps not listening well enough. Most people would never put me down as shy.

YABU
One hemisphere of your brain stores faces and pictures, the other stores names. Lots of times people will recognise someone and struggle to recall their name and vice versa.
Do you recall what Anthony Eden looked like?
If you're like most people, it'll be a toughie.

I'm dyslexic and am terrible at remembering names. I also have poor facial recognition. Not much I can do about it. But I guess I can add that I'm a dick to that. Thanks very much.

@disquieted1 who is Anthony Eden?

No I’m with you OP. I know exactly the kind of person you mean and they are dicks.

I have a colleague who’s this type. We had some training about networking and building relationships a few months ago and she announced that she’s just terrible with names, always forgets them. The trainer said to her, ‘no, actually, it’s not that you forget names - it’s that you don’t hear them in the first place’. In other words, people who ‘are terrible with names’ don’t hear them and then forget them. They don’t pay enough attention to other people to hear them them in the first place.

She’s been a bit better ‘with names’ since then.

YABU. I have short term memory issues because I struggle from a variation of dyslexia. I really struggle to remember names; no fault of my own.

I'm terrible with names. No idea why. I can even forget the names of people I know well. I once had to ask a colleague what our boss's name was, five months into a job, because I just couldn't bring it to mind. It's not that I'm not paying attention - at that point I could have told you lots of details about his life, but not his name. I'm bad at place names as well - I remember events and characteristics but not proper nouns.

I'm probably a dick though - in fact, I almost certainly am, so you're right on that score.