To think people who claim they never remember names are dicks?

[FirstOfHerName]

I'm not talking about people who genuinely forget names but rather those who, upon introduction, say "oh I'm terrible with names, I'll never remember yours". To me it's just rude and more or less saying you're not important enough to remember.

I don't mind if I meet someone and then see them a few weeks later and they've forgotten my name - that's not unusual at all, but AIBU to think those who immediately claim they can't remember names just can't be arsed?

I'm also rubbish with names and not because of not listening!

When I was with a close friend from college and my best friend from school came over I temporarily forgot both their names!

Sorry I know we have met before but I am afraid I can't remember your name. What's the sin here?
Yabvu

That's exactly the type of person and situation I mean @WaxOnFeckOff but reading comprehension doesn't seem too strong on this thread.

YABU. It's to save the embarrassment later on when you don't remember the name of one of 10 people you were introduced to that day.

YABVU....I'm dyslexic, though I have never thought my poor remembrance of someone face and name was the cause.

I have a lot of problems remembering peoples names..even so much as..two of my very good friends who I met on the same day 10 years ago..I still struggle to remember their names correctly, and the same with two women I met at at work on the same day, 3 years later I still get confused.

So maybe it is a visual memory thing..but you can't help having a poor facial recognition and a unable to put a name to a face!

I find it difficult to remember names. I also don't recognise someone if I see them out of context, e.g. one of the teachers from my child's school in the supermarket, or someone from my large workplace in the cinema. I really find it hard trying to place them even though I know I know them.

I also often have chats with people who stop me and ask how I am, how's the family etc and I have no clue who they are or where I know them from! I'm too embarrassed to admit I don't remember them so I wing it.

People with social anxiety can struggle with names, as when introductions are made, someone with social anxiety can be focused on expressions; reactions, environment, loads of things - just not the name.

So many variables. YAobviouslyBU.

It's that Anthony Eden again. He comes on here and derails loads of threads.
CF.

I am terrible for remembering character names in films and TV. I can easily get to near the end of a series and still not be able to tell you the name of this character or that character if you showed me a pic and asked me.

Not so bad in real life.

Yep OP, it's the manner as much as anything. people wont mind at all especially if you've met a few people all at once if you call them Susan instead of Paula and then apologise and admit that you are a bit shit with names.

Oh I'm not dyslexic and have 20/20 vision so it's either of those.

I try to remember names through the number of letters! eg Sam, Ian, Liz =3. Josh, Toby, Evie =4 etc. It sort of works, the number comes first and then the name.

Remember travelling with a friend on a train once and they bumped into someone they saw frequently on that train, and regularly chatted with. When the other person left friend admitted to me that they didn't know the other person's name. They had been told it once at the beginning and then forgotten it, and were now too embarrassed to ask. This was after years of seeing that other person on the train.

I have to work very hard at recalling names. It’s not that I wasn’t paying attention. It takes me a minute to recall my sil name, people I dated for more than 6 months, neighbours, it need to run through 4 or 5 names. So if I’ve only met you once or twice I will really struggle. Someone at work has the same name as me and I still have to reach.
But I do know faces, voices, handwriting etc. And I will recall the entire conversation.
I am one of those people who uses pet names for everyone out of necessity.
What’s app is a great though - people put their own name in!

Egads, it's not the not remembering that's the issue, it's the offhandedly declaring at first meeting that you wont remember - it's akin to saying that I'm not even going to try as you really aren't important enough to me.

.

@WaxOnFeckOff I thought my OP was pretty clear about the difference but I guess not 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm hopeless at remembering names and its getting worse as I hurtle towards menopause! If I'm being introduced to a few new people at a time, I'll apologise and say that I may not remember their names. I'd rather do that than let them wonder why I don't mention their names again. I'm very good with faces though, just can't link a name to them! It's very frustrating as I work in an industry where people move around a lot between companies and I'll often see someone in the office whose face I recognise from years ago, they bound up and say "hello Loki" and I'm stood there like a stuffed lemon trying to cover up that I can't remember their name.

I had a busy day (unusual) and met about 20 new people - shakong hands and saying hi. I wont remember them. So jail me. Its not easy.

*shaking

YABU.

I'm absolutely shit with names and faces but I do remember conversations and the names of their children (who they have just spoken about). It has really caused a lot of embarrassment at times.I have said to people on introduction that I won't remember their names as a way of lessening the embarrassment when I don't remember them.

I agree with the OP that sometimes its the manner that such a thing is announced in a very dismissive tone that causes upset to the person being introduced.

Oddly enough I am generally ok at remembering one name at a time provided it isn't a 'generic' sort of name. If somebody is called Emma or Sarah etc, I will not remember it.

That's exactly the type of person and situation I mean @WaxOnFeckOff but reading comprehension doesn't seem too strong on this thread

My reading comprehension is fine thanks. You think you can discern someone's general attitude towards themselves and others when they announce that they can't remember names well. You're so confident in this that you feel safe in assassinating their characters based on a single sentence spoken with an attitude which you perceive to be lofty or superior (though the requirement to say it with some sort of superior attitude to be counted as a dick wasn't added until after the op. In the op, you stated that the sentence alone was enough). I, and many others, disagree.

I think you've struck a nerve because a genuine inability to remember names can cause embarrassment and on top of that existing insecurity you've heaped a pile of judgment that I, for one, feel is wholly undeserved. I think this inability is more common than you realise.

But surely most people who say they can't remember names do so because they, um, can't remember names and are alerting you to that fact? Apologising in advance, sort of thing. And those people are like us on here who can't remember names, so you're talking about us when you reference this, First Her.

Yeah, it's an offhanded remark to hide the person's complete inability to remember names, put badly, and so makes the other person feel inferior. But what if the other person smiles and says ' You will remember my name, I am Elephant' and then takes their hand warmly.

I'm going to bed now OP so you are on your own. I'm now laughing though so thanks for cheering me up.