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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Thinking it’s weird that DP third wheels himself

132 replies

GingerSwan · 04/10/2018 20:56

I don’t mind the occasional 3rd wheel and I get along with DP’s friends... but recently when I’m at home with the DC (and if DP doesn’t have work the next day) my DP goes to his best friend’s girlfriends house and stays there overnight. With his best friend there as well of course, but noone else.

I don’t particularly think there’s anything shady going on I just think it’s weird

He point blank refuses to use taxis. He drives up to her house, drinks with them and leaves his car on the drive, sleeping there overnight until the next afternoon when he can drive again

If it was me I would get a taxi up and then a taxi home again. It’s not like he can’t afford it Blush

My DC aren’t his, so even if he stayed here he wouldn’t be looking after them (so he hasn’t abandoned any responsibility).

If im free for the weekend he doesn’t go, probably because he knows I wouldn’t want to sit and drink in some else’s living room. AIBU to think that he’s intruding on their privacy a bit Confused His best friend doesn’t live there by the way, this is a new relationship of only a few weeks

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 04/10/2018 20:57

Threesome

ShirleyPhallus · 04/10/2018 20:57

Spitroast

ShirleyPhallus · 04/10/2018 20:57

Kinky shit

Belindabauer · 04/10/2018 20:59

Sounds bizarre to me.

JellieEllie · 04/10/2018 21:00

I must be weird then. 😂🙈
I used to go to my friends for a catch up once a month where she lived with her boyfriend and I slept over every time.
To be fair I did take their daughter to school the morning after (I helped with their childcare) so it wouldn't have made sense to go home and come back again.
I just never felt like I was third wheeling and neither did they.

2bigtossers · 04/10/2018 21:01

Deffo three in a bed shizzle Wine

bigchris · 04/10/2018 21:02

It's a shame he wouldn't rather spend his time with you

ambereeree · 04/10/2018 21:02

Are you sure this woman isn't his girlfriend? Have you met or seen her with his best friend?

FFSakes · 04/10/2018 21:02

Weird. Weird. Weird. Weird. Weird.

Why the fuck would you want to go and sit with a guy and his gf, who he has only just got into a relationship with and obviously very much in the honeymoon period, BY YOURSELF?!

I would feel so awkward. And I would also feel awkward if I was the friends girlfriend. It’s plain weird.

RedLife · 04/10/2018 21:03

spit roast

😂😂😂

AnyFucker · 04/10/2018 21:03
Confused
LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 04/10/2018 21:03

Did you stay at your friend's boyfriend's house though @JellieEllie, before your friend had actually moved in with him?

Fair enough as a one off (all at a gig or something and her house is miles closer to the venue) but otherwise, nah. That's weird.

Disquieted1 · 04/10/2018 21:04

This reply has been deleted

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JellieEllie · 04/10/2018 21:08

I'd never stayed there without her no. Only when she was there! 😂
Definitely wasn't weird, was just easier for me to do that rather than travel back to mine and then fight through traffic to get back early the next morning to pick up her child.
This went on for almost 6 years until they didn't need me any more for help with childcare.
We lived 18 miles apart too so it wasn't like I lived next door and could easily get home.
Oh god, everyone thinks I'm weird now Hahaa 😩😩😩

Bluntness100 · 04/10/2018 21:08

That's very odd for the simple fact the relationship is only a few weeks old. Why is he going and staying there. Can he explain it? Is he somehow infatuated with this woman and jealous of his friend? So making his presence felt?

It's weird op. No two ways about it. His best friend hardly knows this woman, never mind him.

Bluntness100 · 04/10/2018 21:10

Jellie, I think yours is different, your friends lived together, this is his mates new girlfriend, they don't live together and the relationship is a few weeks old.

Of course it's fine to stay at a friends home. He's not staying at a friends home, he's staying with his friends new girlfriend.

JellieEllie · 04/10/2018 21:12

Ohhhhhh I didn't read the last paragraph of the OPs post!
In which case yes I would find that slightly strange. Especially considering he doesn't actually live there ! Is there a chance they are taking drugs? Especially if he's not coming home until the next afternoon?

speakout · 04/10/2018 21:13

He is far too old for sleepovers.

Unless it's three in a bed.

FFSakes · 04/10/2018 21:13

JellieEllie

I think your scenario is a bit different though, your friend and her boyfriend lived together and you would stay there to help with THEIR children.

OP’s DP is going to a woman’s house he doesn’t know (his friend has only been seeing this woman for a few weeks according to OP) drinking with them and staying over. I don’t think it would be as weird if he was going to his friend house and she was there but actually going to her house to drink and stay over, when it’s just the 2 of the them, is weird.

That’s if it is only the friend and his gf there though......

gimbles · 04/10/2018 21:15

It's a shame he wouldn't rather spend his time with you

OP said he doesn’t go if she is free at the weekend, so he does choose to sp nd his time with her.

PorkFlute · 04/10/2018 21:19

Yes it’s weird. And it’s weird that a new couple wouldn’t want a bit of space.
I’d be a bit offended that he never spent your weekends stuck in with you.
My guess is the gf has a friend who visits too.

JellieEllie · 04/10/2018 21:21

It could be that his mate is genuinely happy to have him there and the gf is going along with it to please him, but pretty soon the new gf will get bored of hosting every other weekend and he will soon start spending more weekends at home. Although if she is happy to let it continue on maybe she's genuinely a nice person and doesn't mind him kipping on the couch when they've all had a few too many.
Still a bit strange though.

JellieEllie · 04/10/2018 21:22

FfSakes yes I read the post fully after I'd posted, so happy to know I'm not that weird hanger on 😂

TokyoSushi · 04/10/2018 21:27

Threesome/drugs/something weird

2bigtossers · 04/10/2018 21:31

My guess is there is no BFF just a OW

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