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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is this acceptable or should I do time for murder?

187 replies

Busyworkingbee · 01/10/2018 16:43

Been at work all day and OH has been home.
I usually cook but he asked if I wanted a jacket spud. To which I replied "yes please."

He shouts in..
Do you want mayo? Yes
Do you want cheese? Yes

5 minutes later he handed it to me.
Jacket spud with a tin of tuna slapped on top, and I mean straight from the tin, still the shape of the tin. A few sprinklings of cheese on top and mayo squirted on top. The worst bit is there was no butter on my spud at all!

I was speechless!
He doesn't cook so didn't want to hurt his feelings, but surely this form of spud is a known abomination

OP posts:

ineedaholidaynow · 02/10/2018 01:05

Going slightly off topic Philomena why can't your DH do childcare? Is he the DC's father?

PhilomenaButterfly · 02/10/2018 04:32

It's funny that you don't ask why I can't do housework.

I don't know. He's DS2's father, but I'm not sure what that's got to do with it.

We like the arrangement. What's the problem?

HunnidBands · 02/10/2018 05:23

Sadly they sometimes need a bit of guidance,

Really. Do they? Or are they just so used to someone else doing it for them they can’t be arsed to learn?

MrsStrowman · 02/10/2018 05:54

Why has this become about oh another incompetent man, it's not funny blah blah... My mother exploded eggs when I was a child (attempting hard boiled, forgot them, gunshot like sounds from the kitchen, ruined pan, ruined eggs, egg on walls and ceiling) we laughed (including her) because no harm done and some people are better cooks than others, she had many strengths but try as she might even basic cookery is not one of them. Maybe OPs DP likes his potato that way, maybe he forgot to add the mayo, put it all together and thought shit, so squirted it on top. It's not the crime of the century, have none of you ever ballsed anything up?

captainpantbeard · 02/10/2018 06:50

I cook 95% of the time in our house. I am a good cook.

I would probably have presented tuna jacket potato the same as your DH, op. I have no idea what to do with tuna and I don’t try. I leave it to DH!

inappropriateraspberry · 02/10/2018 07:24

I'm with you OP. My DH can cook, and does a great roast dinner, but ask him to knock up some pasta with a jar of sauce and he's stumped. 'How do you cook this?' I tell him to read the label, just like I do!

ineedaholidaynow · 02/10/2018 07:26

Philomena because I think it is sad that your DH can't look after his own child.

I think it is odd that you say you can't do housework (I would understand saying you don't like doing it) but I don't feel sorry for your house as it is not a living, breathing thing with feelings

OliviaStabler · 02/10/2018 08:16

I think you should cut all contact with his mother, she has let you, and him, down badly by not teaching him how to do a baked spud.

Better to picket her house and publicly shame her. It'll be on the local news 'Mum never taught her son to cook a jacket potato shocker'

Pissedoffdotcom · 02/10/2018 09:08

OP start a Go fund me page....get him sent to finishing school

Eliza9917 · 02/10/2018 11:34

Pissedoffdotcom Mon 01-Oct-18 18:24:08
Cottage cheese i don't mind. Beans are just boik...for years bean juice used to gip me right out. To the point i had to wear gloves to open a tin

I love bean juice!! they should sell tins of just the juice imo.

Pissedoffdotcom · 02/10/2018 11:44

I actually gipped a little at that Eliza9917 eeeeew

Eliza9917 · 02/10/2018 11:51

I would be so fat if they did. I'd eat tons of toast just to dip in it.

Pissedoffdotcom · 02/10/2018 11:53

You need a compromise with somebody who eats a lot of beans that would save you the juice 😂

God i have goosebumps now haha. No idea why, but it weirds me out. Cold bean juice from opening those stupid little fridge packs 🤢

ToastyFingers · 02/10/2018 11:58

I can't stand domestic incompetence, from men or women and I'd rather cook myself than eat shit food. Lolz tho .

PhilomenaButterfly · 02/10/2018 14:56

ineed we like the arrangement. I probably can't do housework because I'm autistic and have difficulty learning things. I haven't been able to teach myself, as I wouldn't know where to start.

The DC aren't missing out, they just have a different relationship with DH, that's all.

PhilomenaButterfly · 02/10/2018 14:57

I also do all the technology, because DH is a technophobe.

mumof2sarah · 02/10/2018 15:11

I lol'd at this! Took it very lighthearted too, don't see why people have to have a negative say with it. I do the cooking at home which is MY choice, DP does other stuff around the house but we swap and change depending on other things. He's brilliant at cooking TBH but not at other things. If he brought me my jacket and tuna like that I'd have found it hard not to have lost my shit either OP

Pissedoffdotcom · 02/10/2018 15:13

My DP does anything to do with the cars (except fill it, i can do that). Washes them, cleans the interior, does light maintainence etc etc. I flat out refuse to do any of it.

DS is in cloth nappies. I do all the washing connected with them because a) it was my decision to use them and b) i am a fussy shit when it comes to the wash cycle. DP wouldn't know where to start.

Just two examples of things that, in our house at least, one of us can do whilst the other can't. I could teach myself to do the car bits...DP could do the same with the nappies. But why should we??!

BertrandRussell · 02/10/2018 15:30

Ah yes, the old 50:50 fallacy. Car maintainance- once a week, once a month, once a year things. Nappies-once a day wash, plus soaking, drying, folding.........

Loads of examples- “I do all the cooking, shopping and washing up- he puts the bins out, mows the lawn and puts up shelves”

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 02/10/2018 15:38

We share a lot of household stuff but FFS, DH can open a can of tuna, mash the Jacket potato, add butter and seasoning and grate some cheese.

Pissedoffdotcom · 02/10/2018 15:45

Bertrand not sure how many nappies you have in your household but i certainly don't wash them once a day! So in respect of car & nappy maintainence it is indeed split!

I do so enjoy it when people come onto posts - especially those where OP isn't seriously moaning that her OH does fuck all - and start pretending they know how other households work. It is entertaining but also does make me wonder about their own households...i can't begin to imagine how shit my life would be if it involved constantly reassuring myself that jobs done = complete partnership in a relationship. What a shitty way to live

Clandestino · 02/10/2018 15:49

DH was doing pesto. He thought it was too thick and so he added water. He was insulted when I refused to eat it.

Pissedoffdotcom · 02/10/2018 15:55

😂😂😂 how much water did he add that it was inedible?!

DiseasesOfTheSheep · 02/10/2018 16:22

I'm genuinely confused as to why you would want butter on a jacket potato which has a more interesting filling, and - furthermore - why people are getting hot under the collar about the fact that the tuna wasn't mixed with the mayonnaise and cheese. It's not like it's something which can't be done easily before eating, or not, if you prefer.

I can, and do, cook, but I really couldn't get excited about unmixed potato fillings in pretty much any context.

Tuna as a filling is pretty horrendous though...

Eliza9917 · 02/10/2018 16:36

For the same reason that you butter toast before putting peanut butter on it, for taste.

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