To wonder where some people get their money from

[todaysname18]

NC in case she's on MN

Dh and I are 36, decent education level and good jobs, but we don't earn a fortune. Live in se so quite expensive area and own a little 2 bed house. I thought we were fairly average. But we have some friends, they're only 30 so a few years younger than us and I just don't understand how they have so much money. When I ask her what her dh does she just says he "works in IT" which doesn't sound particularly highly-paid but

• She's not going back to work after mat leave (genuinely no idea how anyone can afford to be a sahm nowadays)
• They live in this absolutely massive 6 bedroom house, not rented
• She drives a Mercedes, not brand new but only a few years old
• They go out to dinner at least twice a week and are always doing day trips at weekends which involve expensive meals and entry to various places, the sort of costs that quickly add up
• I don't know where her clothes are from but they certainly look expensive
• Her ds, 6 months, has SO many clothes it's unreal, I see them 3-4 times a week and I rarely see him in the same outfit twice and lots are fairly expensive brands, I've definitely seen him in a Ralph Lauren polo!
• She just bought a designer handbag...whilst on maternity pay! Who has that sort of money?

I know people will say it sounds like I'm jealous, I absolutely am! But I also just don't understand how they have this sort of money?! Do 30 year old couples regularly own million pound homes?!

They may have won the lottery. It does happen, after all.
It's still none of your business.

^ yes, could be this. A friend of mine is a SAHM, her husband works part time in a ‘hobby’ type job. Multi million pound house, children in private school. They won the lottery.

Sometimes I find that people who seem well off generally aren’t. Their cars are on finance and everything is bought on a credit card.

I’m finding this as my job involves visiting people in their homes (sales based). I’m astonished to see so many 30 something couples in huge barn conversions. Audi Q7 on the drive as the runabout and money is no object. I just do not understand it.

I went to an acquaintance’s house to drop some stuff of yesterday and the drive (with electric gates) opened on to a sweeping drive. The car park had a purple Bentley on it amongst others. I had no idea she lived in such splendour! She’s probably 40 ish and divorced with two boys. To my knowledge she doesn’t presently work.

I’m not jealous but I am pretty flabbergasted.

My partner contracts with IT people who are on 600-1000 quid A DAY. The car might be on finance. The house could be on interest only mortgage.

Well after reading all this and that there is big money in "IT" I am pretty glad my youngest DS has opted for such a career . He is scaringly money obsessed, but also extraordinarily good on a PC .

DS is 14 .

Thank You all those whom state that the pay IS indeed very very good.

I don't see that it's U of the OP to wonder. And it's not exactly abnormal for anyone to feel a little bit envious of people who seem to have it all.
As pps have said, IT salaries can be very high, so maybe it's all affordable.

Having said that, it's not that uncommon for people with the big house/flash cars, etc. to be up to their ears in huge mortgage/loans/cc debt. I have known one or two like this - they have to be 'seen' to have it all - their self esteem depends on appearances, never mind the worry over debt.

OTOH dd has a friend whose ILs gave her and her dh over £1m outright, to enable them to buy a very large house in a very nice area. Others have struggled to buy a very modest semi in a nothing-special one. Such is the lottery of life.

You have to have a fairly high salary to get big mortgages, huge loans and large credit card limits though.

Sometimes I find that people who seem well off generally aren’t. Their cars are on finance and everything is bought on a credit card

This.

My DH works in IT and earns a low salary, but some IT professions can be a fortune (hes been looking at IT forensics and its huge money!).
My friend has just become a SAHP and her DH doesn't work full time (though earns ok money) and they always come across as flush, but they get A LOT of help from both their families (Yes, I am jealous!). But it could be anything!
A guy I work with is a lot younger than me, doesn't earn as much as me but has multiple houses. It's because his dad died when he was young and left him some money and he invested it well! I would rather have my dad TBH.
I wouldn't dwell on it, it won't make you happy!

You have to have a fairly high salary to get big mortgages, huge loans and large credit card limits though

True, but people live up to and beyond their salaries.

DH and I are far too risk averse and have always lived below our income level.

IT pays a lot in every company ive worked for

You'll never know unless you ask her and she is willing to give you a truthful answer.

IT can be really lucrative - it really depends exactly what it is!

I would go, OP, with credit cards and/or inheritance (possibly a sizeable lottery win maybe too).

I would never put anything on a credit card (I do not even have one) and the only time my DPs took credit was the early 60s, to put some furniture in their newly rented home . Then to buy a white item . After that DF said never again . If we do not have the cash we don't get it .
A mantra I also live by.

You never know what happens behind those golden gates. They could be in debt. In any case, I've learned to love life with less :)

It can be extremely well paid. It's the new banking.

I think people from even standard/working class backgrounds often have some inheritance these days, DH and I are both from WC backgrounds, parents who worked very long hours or multiple jobs when we were young just to keep going, my DF left school at 14 with no qualifications. I have one sibling DH has none, both sets of parents bought their homes a long time ago and are now mortgage free. Homes are nice but modest, but in the south East so worth more than they probably should be. Our parents' homes combined are probably worth close to a million pounds. All four have good pensions they've paid into for a long time and substantial life insurance with critical illness cover (we know this because they've told us when we've refused financial help from them). They've helped us out with bits and pieces over the years, new sofa, legal costs, tuition fees (when they were much cheaper than they are now), but haven't been in a position to give us deposits/cars/weddings etc but that we would expect that anyway. We've taken on their work ethic and both now have professional jobs with a joint income just over 70k and it is very likely that will increase as we're both doing quite well professionally, that sounds like a lot but when you take into account property costs in the south East means we're comfortable but drive ten year old cars and live in a three bed semi in a nice ish area, rather than 20k holidays and jet set lifestyle.
We at some point will inherit around 750k, that seems mind boggling to us and to our parents and will be later on in our lives, but will have a huge impact for our children, who we will be able to help with house deposits etc. It only takes a couple of generations of property ownership and general market increase for money to suddenly be available to people who never counted on it.

@todaysname18

Maybe she says it dissmisively because she doesn't think his exact job and salary are anyone's business. He works in IT, that's really all anyone needs to know. She probably doesn't want to end up discussing salaries and job prospects so keeps is to a causal answer and moves on.

It's really none of your business. It's fair enough if you feel jealous but that is your issue and not hers.

I wouldn't let it worry you.
Everyone has their own life/ issues.

I work for a small IT company. Someone has just started on £60k, under 30 and not particularly knowledgeable. It's considered good if we can get a contractor in for under £550 a day.

I think you are under estimating.

I wonder this all the time.

IT contractors in DH's industry earn closer to £1100 a day.
Asking what someone's job is - is very close to asking about income and the most modest response is always going to be vague.

I think people from even standard/working class backgrounds often have some inheritance these days

We don’t, we’re mid 30’s and all our parents are thankfully still alive, plus some of our grandparents! I had a high salary before becoming a SAHM and DH still has a high salary, though.

working in IT covers a whole load of jobs, most jobs seem to be based around IT now? My dd has taken IT for her GCSE options, she was told it’s the best choice due to all the good jobs now being in IT.

He is probably just on a really good wedge, they may of inhareted some money to buy the house? Or they could be drug dealers? Who knows? Who cares?