Most ignorant school mum ever!

[Diamondangel8]

I work full time but now and then I get to pick up my son from school as have flexible working. I have got to know some of the school mum's. My son is best friends with a boy at school. They get on so well . So I decided to try to talk to this boy's mum to arrange playmates and offered to have him round. However I have never encountered such an ignorant woman in my life. I've tried to talk to her many times at the schoolgates. She ignores mePretends she hasn't heard me. She won't make eye contact with me and turns her back to me. I have been pleasant and ignored every time. I had to go to a kids party with her again earlier I thought I'd have another go at speaking to her. I sat down at the table and she turned her back to me as i was sat down. I asked her 5 times as her son came over would he like to come and play with my son and she ignored me. Others at the table looked surprised. She didn't even turn round and just muttered to her son she is talking to you and he walked off. I just felt so uncomfortable the whole time. I just don't understand. I have never encountered someone so rude in my life. Aibu?

I keep wondering whether to ask her of I've done something to upset her as I would hate to offend anyone. She won't even look at me but will chat with others.

Um by "ignorant" did you mean "rude" or "ill-mannered"?

Beside the point but ignorant doesn't mean what you think it means

I've probably heard people use the word 'ignorant' in this context thousands of times over the years.

Most people are aware that it's just how people often speak. Not really worth pulling the OP up on, is it?

I would use ignorant in that context - maybe it’s a regional thing?

I hate people like this.

No, she doesn't have to be your best friend but surely it would be nice for her to make an effort for the children. There are a couple of mums at DS's school who I probably wouldn't want to spend time with socially but DS is friends with their children so I make the effort for his sake.

Ignorant does also mean to be rude so that’s the correct usage of the word.

Frankly if someone else is being that rude then it’s not worth your time or effort to worry about it!

medea can certainly be used as an adjective meaning rude. It’s informal but it still counts. HTH

Are you the mum from school shinywhiteteeth ? Sheesh, there's plenty of people I'm not interested in being friends with but I still manage to be polite.

I would be annoyed if my DC behaved this badly, rudeness is not acceptable in my house.
It doesn't sound like social anxiety.
As my mum would say " Good manners cost nothing"

Op, it's you not her. Don't give her any more power by even thinking about her. It's also a good opportunity to encourage friendships with other children in the class whose parents don't behave like rude buggers. You'll meet other fuckwits like them as your DS progresses through school. Pay them no mind whatsoever.

Actually, Allergictoironing , ignorant can mean either lack of knowledge or discourteous/rude.
And actually you were both lacking in knowledge and rude to correct the OP about their post rather than offer helpful advice.

Ooops sorry white teeth cross posted with your apology :)

I’d stop wasting my time. I think you know you’ve done nothing wrong - she’s just rude and clearly doesn’t want to engage.
Why haven’t you pulled her up on her behaviour before? You’ve clearly tried quite a few time. Did you not reach the point of saying to her ‘what is your problem? Are you really this rude? I’m only trying to sort something out for my son as he’s clearly very good friends with yours.’
I would just have to say something myself. - cannot bear people like this.

I wouldn't try with her any more

I know people are saying ignore her. But if someone was this rude to me. I would really like to know why.

In mumsnet tradition, maybe she’s got some terrible shit going on that’s impacting on her ability to engage. Maybe you have inadvertently offended her gravely. Maybe she’s a bitch. Whatever it is, I’d give up now.

I'd be encouraging my DC to make other friends because they will probably be raising their DC to be as equally rude.

She is very ignorant and odd from the sounds of it.

But when I read this....I asked her 5 times as her son came over would he like to come and play with my son and she ignored me.

I thought woaah!! 5 times?? and then you told her you hope everything goes ok with the birth?

As rude as she is, you really need to take the hint that she doesn't want to talk to you.

In fact it's not even a hint. She's made it abundantly clear.

Some people are just entitled precious rude twats.
I genuinely wouldn't waste any more time trying to engage.
I'm sure that you have much better things to do with your time than worry about fucking twats like this.

Thanks guys. I really was just trying for my son's sake as they sit together, play together but she will not acknowledge me or even look at me. I can normally let things go but I can't understand why she is so hostile towards me. I'm clean and tidy and friendly. I told my husband and he said to ignore the ignorant prick. It just makes me feel uncomfortable at these social events.

I know where you're coming from, @Diamondangel8 but it really is best just to leave her be. You don't know whether your DS and hers will be best friends or not in years to come.

My DD2 (now 7, year 2) is very popular and goes on plenty of play dates. But she's always been desperate for one friend in particular to come round to play, or for her to go to this friend's house. They're clearly really close and are constantly in each other's company at school.

I tried hard to make this happen, but this friend's mum has always refused to talk to me. She talks about me; DD2 said that this friend had told her that her mum had said to her that I was fat. (I am overweight but neither of my DDs are at all.)

I've given up. There are enough mums willing to arrange play dates so it isn't a big issue. It's a shame, as DD2 really values this friend, but I just think that when they're older they will arrange their own social life, so it's not worth obsessing over.

Ignorant is recognised by all the major dictionaries as meaning discourteous or rude. They acknowledge that it is an informal meaning, and is usually listed second after lacking in knowledge or information. it's linked to lacking knowledge of manners.

OP she has decided that she doesn't want to show you even the most basic level of courtesy so let it drop. It sounds as though she treats others in the same way, it's not personal. Though I'm sorry for your DS and hers that she won't give them the opportunity of play dates.

Mirror her behaviour - it fascinates me how people change when they see you behaving the same as them. In most cases with me they then realise how rude they are being - and if not then nothing lost

She thinks your beneath her and not worth talking to. She also thinks your son is not the right child to be mixing with her son. People like this are despicable who only talk to people they think will move them up the social ladder

Ooops! Cross posted with a lot of others while I was consulting dictionaries

I'm not going to talk to her anymore guys. As you all said she doesn't want to know. I just haven't encountered rudeness on this scale before.

It’s 99% likely she’s just a shit. But ...I can’t help wondering about another possibility, when you said her husband snapped at you.
What if he’s an abuser, and has ordered her not to befriend other mums or invite their kids home? She may be frightened, and trying to avoid your kind overtures and offers of play dates, knowing that her husband may become violent as a result. You mentioned she was pregnant, and that tends to be a time when abuse escalates.
Just a thought, OP. Maybe this woman needs help?

She sounds like a massive wanker!
Pffft, shrug it off and don't bother anymore OP!