To think some people on MN must have magic money trees?

[CoughLaughFart]

Am I the only thinking there are an awful lot of MNers who have no concept of others being less well off than they are? I’ve noticed a few times, but it seems to be getting really bad lately.

Two threads that spring to mind are the passport thread (where the OP’s partner is being pressured to get one so that he can volunteer for a work trip) and the holiday fall-out thread.

TBF most people on the passport thread seem to get that spending £75 on a new passport when you can’t afford to go abroad isn’t very sensible. However, there are quite a few posts along the lines of ‘Just get one, it’s not that expensive’ - even someone saying the OP’s partner should just ‘grow up’ and buy one and ‘that’s what savings are for’. Similarly, on the holiday thread a number of people are advising ‘Book the first flight out’ or ‘find different accommodation’, without a thought that holidays are generally expensive anyway and that effectively booking a second one might be beyond some people’s means.

These are specific current threads, but it seems to be a general attitude in some corners. ‘Get a cleaner’. ‘Get some nice wine and chill in the garden’ (to someone depressed because they’re skint and live in a rough area).

I’m grateful to be in a decent enough position financially, but I’d never simply assume anyone else was. Don’t people at least consider the potential for different circumstances before offering their ‘helpful’ advice?

I think it would be a real shame if MN became somewhere where you couldn’t admit to having money.

Admitting to having money - fine.

Not understanding that a hell of a lot of people don't have any spare money - not fine.

It's not hard.

Thank you webuilt.

I made a money tree for my DH last Christmas- it was a little tree about a foot high and I hung a load of gold chocolate coins on there - but behind the coins I sellotaped folded up £10 notes - he loved it

People here don’t understand some people have NO spare money after paying their bills.

I’ve seeb loads of times about needing to have 3 months pay in savings ! Really.

I don't resent people their money but sometimes on MN I am gobsmacked at the amounts people can and do spend.

For instance, the current Ocado thread - the amount some people spend on a weekly grocery shop is - to me - staggering. But I don't judge them for it.

The thing that struck me most is that people are damned insensitive when you are poor and resentful and rude when you are what they consider well off

Oh my, you just exactly described friends of mine, well the husband actually. They live in the countryside and have been visiting me in the city for the past 20 years and like to go shopping. They always insisted that I joined them. I tried explaining that watching people shop when you can't buy anything yourself isn't really fun for me but they didn't get it so I went along with it for 15 years. I am now married to someone who is well off, we go on holidays to Australia, bought a beautiful detached house in a posh town and eat out in naice restaurants at least once a week. Basically we now have way more money to spend than them. Now I get nasty comments about our luxury lifestyle. I never made nasty comments to them when I was poor....

His wife is a sweetie though. She gets it.

Yes drives me mad when i see magical solutions to problems solved by money.

On carers allowance which is £60 a week. My son has a disability. I'd love to be able to work but keep getting sacked from jobs because my son becomes unwell and usually have to take a day off a week.

I think some people just need to be educated rather than resented for having more money.

To the person who said you can get concessions on counselling... I'd like to see where that is... im 7 months into a year waiting list for counselling

Ahh yes the mn sage advice for all problemos
Get highlights
Have a spa day
Go to counselling only £50 ph
Get veg box deliveries
Downsize! sell your jimmy choos
Get a mother’s help, she can stay in spare room

No money tree just a rich husband I suspect

Ah yes mn husbands are all top of their game/earn 6 figures/top exec
Yet these walking wallets need a woman to buy their clothes,shop,and open mail
High earners but apparently unable to attend to domestic or childcare tasks

YANBU at all, but MN includes the full gamut of incomes, and generally speaking, in real life, people tend to live in a bit of a bubble consisting of other people like them.

So you come onto MN and are either confronted with the reality of comfortably off people, or, on the flip side, have your eyes opened as the reality of life for people scrimping to get by.

MN is a window into the world in so many ways.

Surely everyone is entitled to enjoy MM whether you have money or not?
Peoples problems are all relative. It’s surely not unreasonable to offer a suggestion based on a certain level of income?
Here’s one to really fuck everyone off,
I went to a local shop today and bought a small packet of raspberries, some strawberries, some asparagus, figs and some blackened miso cod.
It cost £38

My husband was in banking and he used to earn 6-figures. Most of our friends (ex colleagues of his) also earn the same, a couple earn more than that. Not only MPs earn 6-figures (as another poster said). We don’t have a cleaner - we split that 50-50. We do have a nanny though, as it’s cheaper than putting my son in nursery.

I’m not going to apologise for the fact that I worked and studied bloody hard to have the life and income I have

I think there is a range on here and there seems to be goading at both ends with responses on both sides of people don't live in the real world with what they spend or you can't be that poor neither of which approaches is helpful or true.

I have been on both ends (well not the 6 figure salary but but we are comfortable) from living off £10 a week and sofa surfing with friends for a while to now as a home owner with a decent job. I still have the same approach to money of I save until I can afford something.
Unfortunately there seems to be an accepted approach for many of either keeping up with the Jones or I want it so I will get it regardless neither which is healthy or good in the long term

I’m not going to apologise for the fact that I worked and studied bloody hard to have the life and income I have

Who the hell has asked you to?!

Obviously there is a huge range of lifestyles/income being expressed on MN.
twiglet made a very good point. It’s hard to understand another’s dilemma if you have no understanding of it.
Isn’t it basic human nature to develop a ‘have/have not ‘ attitude?
We’re all aiming for the same thing here

Can't comment on the magical money trees BUT being economical with facts is off the scale with certain posters - which is very sad ..although I could not stoop to say they are persistent liars.

cough you’re right, nobody asked me to apologise. I just felt there was some feeling that anyone who had a certain income had somehow lost the right to have an opinion.
Going back to the original post, ‘magic money tree’? No, it’s not magic, it grows like every other tree, it needs to be planted, nurtured, fed and watered

Surely part of the point of asking a question on a generic board like this is that you expect to get a range of answers from a range of people? If you want answers specific to your financial status then say that. If you ask 100 people what they would do in a certain situation they'll tell you. It may not be what you would do or what you can afford to do but that's not what you asked.

I get the point that people should be aware, but if a general question is asked then general answer she should be expected.

"I’m not going to apologise for the fact that I worked and studied bloody hard to have the life and income I have" 🙄

1 nobody asked you to.
2 what makes you think people worse off than you didn't ALSO work and study bloody hard? Nurses are graduates AND get their degrees basically working full time at the same time as earning that degree, other graduates and even post grads are struggling to find well paid work or life circumstances - eg sickness/disability, either theirs or a family members have limited their earning potential - like pinacoladaa caring for her son, or myself disabled after a car accident, mental illness (combination of genetics, shit childhood and stressful adulthood). Got 2 degrees unable to use either.

Not everyone has the wherewithal to nurture the magic money tree, some might end up with a genetically dud one that with the most input still won't produce as much as another genetically healthy one.

Graphista sorry I offended you, not intended

Not offended but I appreciate the apology anyhow. Though do you see how easy it is to make "off the cuff" comments that aren't entirely fair?

I trained as a nurse, I left nhs for a number of reasons including I felt that there was too much bureaucracy and nursing within the nhs was moving away from direct patient care, I then worked in nursing homes which I loved but when I met my ex (army) and married him it was hard to continue initially due to location and then due to having dd, the idea of trying to manage shifts around his work demands would've been bonkers! So I looked at other careers and did another degree with the aim of retraining, the car accident happened just a few months after I completed the work on that degree. And even at that point the long term effects weren't immediately diagnosed/obvious. Took some time until what had happened was clear (which contributed to the mh issues cos honestly some of the Drs I saw treated me like I was fucking imagining it! - I swear some see 'mh issues' and see that as meaning you never get physical illnesses/conditions!)

Within 5 years I went from a happily married, relatively well earning, productive member of society to a divorced, single mum, disabled, on benefits, struggling mentally and physically to do basic daily tasks. Life can turn on you!

Also mentioned elsewhere on mn I've also witnessed a relative similarly have their life turned upside down when essentially very unexpectedly "widowed" (partner died) and left with 2 young children, lost the 'family' home as the partner was intestate and his family claimed it, no life assurance nothing, basically had to start from scratch.

And you can't always prepare if you're not already on a good income.

Sorry that's not intended as a rant at you, just a general continuance of the discussion.

Totally agree with Grap.

I've posted further up the thread.

Ive 2 degrees and these days I'm comfortably 'well off' - compared to some - not mega money ! (was on benifits in my younger days).

I've recently been diagnosed with epilepsy and multiple sclerosis.. fuck knows what my future holds. It's shit and can happen to anyone (single mum here so only have my wage to rely on).

I've planted and watered my 'tree' but that tree could potentially be ripped out by it's roots and there's nothing I can do about it.

My SIL's boyfriend came from a council estate and was saying that his brother was really good at maths, but wanted to do a football course. Honestly, I thought "come on, that's not a smart decision - a maths degree is a walk-in to a well-paying job, but a football course at college is a waste of time. Pick maths!".

A maths degree from a good university with daddy pulling a few strings would be a walk in to a well paid career, but you can see how this is totally unattainable for a lad off a council estate?

University is a middle class rite of passage, not a working class one.

Maybe if we weren't importing in plumbers, electricians etc by the plane load, we could train young men like this up but, no, we have to pump up a bloated HE sector with crap, worthless, £90000 a year, bog paper 'degrees' instead.