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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU but is this a CF

198 replies

MRSMARMITE3 · 27/09/2018 12:59

OH works out of town and has somehow become the company driver! New person started and told the boss that he has a bad back so can't get to work unless someone takes him(let's call new person Bob ).
My OH Lives in the same town so was roped into doing it everyday. He didn't mind at first till Bob admitted lying about bad back cos he didn't want to get the bus or train. He doesn't offer any money and just sits in the car on his phone or moans that the journey takes ages.
Now two more people have started and OH is having to drive them too. He's getting fed up of it and I get he's going that way anyway but no one has offered any money (even a little) . Surely 3 extra adults in the car would create more wear and tear.
OH spoke to his boss and said he's really not happy driving everyone and his boss told him that Bob said he would quit if he can't get a lift so OH needs to drive him. WTF!!!!?
I know it's not my problem but he's always moaning to me about it. I'm just amazed by Bob's entitlement (and also that the boss is feeding into it)

OP posts:
OnBail · 27/09/2018 20:06

Reminds me of a woman I used to work with. She was telling me about when she used to work in a now demolished factory. We are talking about 30 years ago. Colleague doesn’t drive and never has.

She used to walk to work, this was about a 20 minute walk. One day it was raining and the boss of the factory drive past and saw colleague walking in the rain. When he got to the factory he found someone who lived near her and made them drive her to and from work every day. She was saying that she really liked the boss and what a nice man he was. I just sat there thinking “ yeah, but I bet the poor bastard who was made to give you a lift every day didn’t think so”.

She honestly never thought it was out of order.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 27/09/2018 21:13

One day it was raining and the boss of the factory drive past and saw colleague walking in the rain. When he got to the factory he found someone who lived near her and made them drive her to and from work every day.

What a twat! If he was so worried he could have driven her himself! Sounds like he didn't even give her a lift on that one rainy day.

Buggerbrexit · 27/09/2018 21:19

Bob should have been directed to access to work when he started - he then would have been found out for lying.

Your OH needs to stand up for himself, it’s completely unreasonable. But equally, however said “claim mileage x4” is talking crap. Milage is meant to be claimed once per car, not by everyone in the car - plus as correctly pointed out, it’s taxable for journeys to work.

Buggerbrexit · 27/09/2018 21:22

The alternative is to start ferrying loads of junk around in his car. Works a treat for not having to give people lifts.

hiddeneverything · 27/09/2018 21:38

Bob is a CF. The other two in the car are CFs for not offering money. DHs boss is a CCF and DH needs to man up and tell them all this x

Jamiefraserskilt · 27/09/2018 21:54

Bob just wants to save money.
Ask boss to get a pool car if he is that precious.
Bob manages when your OH is off
He can manage day to day but does not want to pay and the boss doesn't want to pick them up from station.
Who starts a job and expects their senior manager to take them every day?!
He is not insured for biz use.
If he was he can claim 45p per mile from boss as it is a business journey.
He should just say no or take up after work activities like errands or gym so can't do it.

SteveMcGarrettsBudgieSmugglers · 27/09/2018 22:02

boss is a major cf

EK36 · 28/09/2018 10:20

OP update us with what happens.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 28/09/2018 10:28

Could your DH not say - Look, I don't mind ferrying all of you tight-arsed bastards around, but I'm going to have to charge you each (whatever is the bus/trainfare) because it's hammering my vehicle and taking me out of my way each day. If this isn't okay with you, then that's fine, you are free to make other arrangements and I hope you do, but if it is okay, I'll need each month's payments in advance. Hopefully that will make you all bugger off somewhere else

kmckenna477 · 28/09/2018 15:58

All v well until there’s even a slight bump in the car and then they will all claim. We had to get rid of a mean neighbour who was imposing in a similar way . We just said we were taking a detour each morning to look in on fictional elderly relative and got rid of him and his honking breath 😉

Bekstar · 28/09/2018 16:04

I'd tell your husband to start recording mileage and submit a bill each week for the extra bodies. If asked why he is billing when he is going that way just say "I don't necessarily have to go that way every day or even drive every day I may get the train, cycle or walk some days if I feel like it. Tell his boss as they have made it clear that he must do it then he is considering it part of the job and requires paying for it.

Iseveryusernametaken · 28/09/2018 16:09

I can assure you that HR would be horrified. You do not have to do this, it's clearly not contractually required and from what I've ascertained not even a company vehicle. Tbh even if it is a company vehicle, if you're paying the tax it would still only be Goodwill.

The constructive dismissal route would only work if you resign first and is notoriously difficult to evidence and win. I would advise to tell the employees that you are not going to be taxiing them anymore and if asked by your manager, reiterate the point. You could also point out that you haven't had any driving assessment, there is no risk assessment and as an employer they could be found vicariously liable for any incident. (I also agree with the insurance issue). If he gets arsey, you will need to raise a formal grievance to HR or his superior.

Katherine2626 · 28/09/2018 17:27

Your OH does not 'have to' take these people - he just needs to say one Friday evening that it is no longer convenient, and can they make their own arrangements for the future over the weekend? If they can't get to work without a free lift from someone else they will have to find another job. Either that or tell them that this is now a cab and will cost each of them X amount a week, to be paid on Friday for the following week, failing which they can't have a lift!

itsalldyingout · 28/09/2018 17:41

Why isn't your OH asking for expenses?

Even if his boss is twisting his arm about having to take them, the expenses aren't really anything to do with him.

Expenses paid weekly - UP FRONT (learn from my lesson from when I gave someone a lift who paid at the end of the month, then they never turned up the last time they were due to pay!).

Also, check with your insurance as taking expenses (and why on earth wouldn't he as it IS extra wear and tear), alters the conditions and they DO look for any excuse to turn down a claim. However, be aware that just requesting information from them will almost certainly bump up your insurance cost next year.

Gemini69 · 28/09/2018 18:13

Bob is a liability Flowers who the hell wouldn't to be chauffeur driven door to door every day in life free of charge Hmm

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 28/09/2018 18:27

I think the famous MN mantra "sorry, that doesn't work for me" is what your dh needs. He tells them to fuck right off to get alternative transport by Tuesday. Bob cries to boss. In the meantime, dh has emailed hr and requested a meeting in anticipation of his boss going akka. Bos and Bob have not a leg to stand on. And I'd be dropping Bob in it for telling porkies about his health.

Crushedgrapesworkforme · 28/09/2018 18:38

Oh needs to ask for contribution to running costs ASAP

Nanny0gg · 28/09/2018 18:53

How did Bob anticipate getting to work when he took the job?

And I bet yorkshireyummymummy is spot on re insurance.

He needs to stop now!

theworldistoosmall · 28/09/2018 19:00

Forget about excuses, and detours and smelly food.
On Monday he picks them up and once all in the car he say -
Friday is that last time I am doing this for any of you. Yes, Bob including you and your fake bad back.

He says to the boss -
Your staffing issues are not my problem, although I will give you some advice. Next time someone tells you about health problems, ask for proof to see how reasonable adjustments can be made when at work. In fact, I would start with Bob. I am not a taxi and it is not a part of my job description to get colleagues too and from work.

Is Bob really worth hanging on to? Surely no one wants to hire someone who lies like this?

PotteryLady · 28/09/2018 19:16

I would play really load music whilst driving and keep slamming the brakes on whilst he's on his phone. Perhaps put air con on when it's cold or heater when hot he will soon get pissed off.

Pretendingtobe · 28/09/2018 21:10

He needs to start smoking in the car, eating onions, making calls to you on 'hands free', discussing leakage of his fake colostomy bag, asking you to buy him more Tena pads, and discussing your upcoming move to Aberdeen, listening to the Macarena on repeat, refusing occasional lifts due to 'job interviews', farting etc.
He needs to act very strangely. Offering lifts to random hitchers. Needing to stop off somewhere completely inconvenient would also be good.
Seriously, I have done this.

It's fun!

HeckyPeck · 28/09/2018 21:22

I’m liking the idea of inventing a relative who lives out of the way and needs checking in on every day on the way to work so DH won’t be able to give lifts anymore.

BoomBoomsCousin · 28/09/2018 22:31

I'm with the ones who say that your OH needs to tell his boss that if he is being directed to transport them to work then he expects to compensated for it - mileage, insurance costs and his time. He should say he will continue to do the work if his hours are adjusted and he gets reasonable expenses, but if his boss isn't prepared to pay for it, he will have to do the pickups himself. This, of course, is only if he thinks that's a good deal. Otherwise, he just tells his boss he's sorry, but it doesn't work for him anymore. He should probably try and make sure some of this is captured in email or something and not just spoken conversations the boss can deny later.

smilingontheinside · 28/09/2018 22:55

The mileage allowance is 45p per mile plus 5p per person extra so 60s per mile for your oh if he wants to claim from company. I would refuse to give lift unless they contribute all that extra fuel and wear and tear on the car with the extra weight would puss me off!

Port1ajazz · 30/09/2018 14:27

Is OH insured to drive people to and from work ? If he has an accident it could invalidate his insurance and if he continues to gives lifts he should should ask the boss to contribute to at least to wear and tear !

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