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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU but is this a CF

198 replies

MRSMARMITE3 · 27/09/2018 12:59

OH works out of town and has somehow become the company driver! New person started and told the boss that he has a bad back so can't get to work unless someone takes him(let's call new person Bob ).
My OH Lives in the same town so was roped into doing it everyday. He didn't mind at first till Bob admitted lying about bad back cos he didn't want to get the bus or train. He doesn't offer any money and just sits in the car on his phone or moans that the journey takes ages.
Now two more people have started and OH is having to drive them too. He's getting fed up of it and I get he's going that way anyway but no one has offered any money (even a little) . Surely 3 extra adults in the car would create more wear and tear.
OH spoke to his boss and said he's really not happy driving everyone and his boss told him that Bob said he would quit if he can't get a lift so OH needs to drive him. WTF!!!!?
I know it's not my problem but he's always moaning to me about it. I'm just amazed by Bob's entitlement (and also that the boss is feeding into it)

OP posts:
itswinetime · 27/09/2018 13:43

Your oh is under no obligation to take bob or anyone else to or from work it is not up to him to sort out the logistics of getting staff from a to b but he dose need to be firm and he dose need to stand up do himself. Loads of great reasons given so far but it's irrelevant unless your oh says no!

Whatsthisbear · 27/09/2018 13:43

I know from experience that a piece of brie left to its own devices (in our case it fell unseen from the shopping bag into a gap between the boot and the back of the seats) will have people gagging and staggering out of the car Grin

Def check insurance. Don’t see why it should be DH job to get everyone to work unless they provide him with a company vehicle to do so Confused

EdisonLightBulb · 27/09/2018 13:44

If the boss wants him to stay that bad the boss needs to pay for a daily taxi to take all three of them.

I would formally announce I wasn't keeping the car any longer and MrsMarmite was using it moving forwards. No room in the car anymore with Marmite, DC and a big smelly dog. Sorry boss.

SubtitlesOn · 27/09/2018 13:45

Deffo get him to do picking up dry cleaning, grocery shop, milk and bread or anything else he can think of without saying anything he just detours and leaves them in car

Also getting smelly food for boot is great idea

Also, he just says NO!

Hidingtonothing · 27/09/2018 13:47

In your DH’s shoes I would go to the boss and say he’s just renewed his insurance and it transpired that he isn’t covered for driving other employees to work. Any complaint from boss DH should respond ‘so what do you suggest I do? I won’t be insured if there’s an accident and will be liable for all costs which I obviously can’t afford, if you can come up with a solution I’d love to hear it?’

Put this firmly back on his boss, if he chooses to make himself responsible for his employees getting to work then he will have to resolve it. Any solution which still involves your DH will have to include paying for business insurance on his car and, if that is bosses suggestion then DH has the perfect opportunity to ask for petrol/maintenance costs on top.

BabySharkDooDooDooDoo · 27/09/2018 13:47

What an utter pisstake

RangeRider · 27/09/2018 13:50

Deffo get him to do picking up dry cleaning, grocery shop, milk and bread or anything else he can think of without saying anything he just detours and leaves them in car
This ^^ How about a quick trip to the cinema on his way home once a week? I'm sure they'd love to sit in the car and wait for a couple of hours! Or picking up an elderly relative who gets the front seat while the other 3 squash in the back! (I'm sure you could find an older person willing to play 'granny' or 'great-uncle' for a laugh)

Saltedcaramelcake · 27/09/2018 13:51

I'd start getting the train if I was your husband, tell work your car is off the road and you need to use your husband's to get to work (not that he should need an excuse!). He should in reality just say I'm not using my own car and petrol to transport half the workforce for free!!!

I was furious my husband gave someone a lift to and from work for 12 months, he stupidly offered though!! He'd actually drive them all the way home miles away from our house and then have to drive back in the same direction as his work to pick me up later on, he'd have just stayed in work and collect me on his way home, but the cheeky fuck liked to leave earlier!!! It was adding about 15-20 extra miles to our daily commute! The cheeky fuck never offered a penny too. My husband did it because he felt sorry for them having to catch 2 buses to work. The thing that made me laugh was when my husband started a new job in the summer the cheeky fucker messaged him after work asking how did they get from X train station to home, pretty sure they were expecting him to say don't worry I'll drive up and get you! Some people's cheeky fuckery is shocking.

strawberrisc · 27/09/2018 13:52

My friend was in this situation many years ago. No thanks, no money. However, when they were involved in a collision CF sued my friend for whiplash and other fake injuries.

notapizzaeater · 27/09/2018 13:53

Does he have a company car ? Does it say in his t and cos he has to ?

dizzy174 · 27/09/2018 13:53

not sure if it has been mentioned but if it is for the company he will need to change his car insurance policy.

ChocolateOrIDie · 27/09/2018 13:55

massive CF :)

dizzy174 · 27/09/2018 13:55

Hidingtonothing has mentioned it and if I say so myself it's a brilliant idea.

SoupDragon · 27/09/2018 13:57

Leave the boss out of it.

Tell the colleagues they need to cough up for petrol costs.

MrsJane · 27/09/2018 13:58

OP, what’s the situation regarding insurance?

MrsArthurShappey · 27/09/2018 13:59

Does the boss realise Bob the Knob lied about his bad back?

WorriesGalore · 27/09/2018 14:01

Ooh. Good point upthred about insurance implications. have you considered that, OP?

Sidge · 27/09/2018 14:04

Why on earth would people start pissing about with detours, stinky shopping or extra passengers?

Just get a backbone and say “I’m not doing this any more as of next Monday. I’m not insured, it’s inconvenient, and it is costing me money and time. How Bob and the others get to and from work is not my concern or responsibility”.

Xocaraic · 27/09/2018 14:04

I had to do this.
I suddenly didn't take my car. Got the train for six weeks. Pain in the bum but it did the trick.
I got petrol money from other CF for any lifts I gave and on principle still don't drive every day.

yorkshireyummymummy · 27/09/2018 14:07

God, stop all this crap advice telling the OPs DH to ask for fuel money/45p per mile expenses.

YOUR INSURANCE IS NOT VALID.
YOUR INSURANCE IS NOT VALID.
YOUR INSURANCE ID NOT VALID.

Get the picture??

IF your DH has an accident ( fault or non fault, it matters not as far as the law goes) his insurance will not pay out.
Any damages to your car and the other drivers car will be paid for out of YOUR bank account.
If somebody is injured - whiplash for example- your insurance will not pay out. They will bring a civil case against you. Your DH will be found liable.
If somebody is badly injured - inc your husband- there will be no compensation paid by insurance. If you have life insurance on your DH. (Imagining the worst) it wouldn’t pay out either.
If a passenger or driver/passenger of other vehicle was badly injured they would bring a civil case against your husband which would - unless you are loaded- probably bankrupt you.

Your DH needs to either a)change his insurance TODAY. or b) Tell,his boss the lifts stop TODAY.

It’s not just a case of CF ism- this is something that could wreck your lives. He must stop giving these lifts.

IndigoSpritz · 27/09/2018 14:07

OP, your other half doesn't need to provide a single excuse to anyone. Forget costs of extra petrol, additional insurance and so on. He is being taken for a ride and he needs to put a stop to it straight away with a single word - no. To hell with Bob and the boss. Again - no. And now.

Trinity66 · 27/09/2018 14:08

How weird, what if your DH wanted to go somewhere after work other than home though? I would hate that, it's so restricting

EK36 · 27/09/2018 14:08

It's down to your husband to say no. He doesn't even have to give a reason! These lifts are classed as business use, if undisclosed will transpire and invalidate his insurance (if theres ever an accident with them in it as they will more than likely claim for whiplash). I know this as I used to work in insurance. He is not responsible for getting these people to their job! If he wants to give a reason then he could say this arrangement is stopping him from going to the gym on his way to work and going straight to other places after work e.g shops, meet a friend, hobbies!

MeredithGrey1 · 27/09/2018 14:11

I can't begin to imagine the reaction I'd get from my manager if I said "If you don't ensure someone is able to drive me to and from work, I will quit". It's outrageous!

I'd do exactly what hidingtonothing has suggested.

Sweettoothfairy · 27/09/2018 14:12

This happened to my neighbour. She gave 3 ladies/friends a lift to and from a coffee club they all went to. One of them reached out to close the car door. Neighbour thought they were all ready and started to drive off. Lady injured her leg needing skin grafts and is now claiming off drivers insurance.