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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU but is this a CF

198 replies

MRSMARMITE3 · 27/09/2018 12:59

OH works out of town and has somehow become the company driver! New person started and told the boss that he has a bad back so can't get to work unless someone takes him(let's call new person Bob ).
My OH Lives in the same town so was roped into doing it everyday. He didn't mind at first till Bob admitted lying about bad back cos he didn't want to get the bus or train. He doesn't offer any money and just sits in the car on his phone or moans that the journey takes ages.
Now two more people have started and OH is having to drive them too. He's getting fed up of it and I get he's going that way anyway but no one has offered any money (even a little) . Surely 3 extra adults in the car would create more wear and tear.
OH spoke to his boss and said he's really not happy driving everyone and his boss told him that Bob said he would quit if he can't get a lift so OH needs to drive him. WTF!!!!?
I know it's not my problem but he's always moaning to me about it. I'm just amazed by Bob's entitlement (and also that the boss is feeding into it)

OP posts:

hungryhippo90 · 27/09/2018 13:15

Surely DP should be getting 0.40p per mile business expense x4 if he’s ferrying 3 colleagues each day.

When I was working for a company and we all piled in one car for training, we all put in for the mileage and directed it to the driver, she was pleased as punch but there were 6 of us in total in her people carrier.

DailyMailWankers · 27/09/2018 13:15

Say the cam belt has gone on the car (v expensive fix) and start getting the train himself. Eventually Bob will quit. Then say you saved up enough for the work and start driving again.

aidelmaidel · 27/09/2018 13:16

Oh and your OH is absolutely entitled to ask for compensation. Or, hell, develop a bad back of his own and work can start paying for Ubers. Maybe your DH can join Uber just for this route (joking but not really)

MrsJane · 27/09/2018 13:17

That’s so cheeky!!!

Check with insurance as this could invalidate any claim if your DH had an accident. This could go into thousands of pounds if people are injured. All liable to DH. Ask boss for a company car and/or petrol allowance.

MrsJane · 27/09/2018 13:18

You just know Bob is the type to claim for even a sniff of whiplash!

JamPasty · 27/09/2018 13:18

Just to add, if your insurance doesn't cover business use, I would guess it's invalid every time your DH gives these lifts.
Does he really want to be driving uninsured and risk losing his license or his car?

Jaxhog · 27/09/2018 13:18

He should tell them that they must contribute towards the petrol costs. Then he should tell his boss that the conpany needs to pay for his additional insurance costs.

Or he should just get another job.

MadameJosephine · 27/09/2018 13:19

Is your DP in a union? If his boss is telling him he must do this as party of his duties then he needs to be properly compensated. His boss also has a duty of care to the other employees that the transport their employer is providing (which is effectively what they are doing) is safe and so should carry out a risk assessment and ensure the proper insurance is in place

bridgetreilly · 27/09/2018 13:19

I think your OH needs to find an important but lengthy detour he'll need to do on his way home every day (visiting an elderly relative, grocery shopping, picking up kids from school, adult education class?).

But seriously this is no way okay. He is not responsible for getting other people to work. If he chooses to make arrangements with some colleagues (which should definitely include money) that's his choice. He is under no obligation to bring Bob AT ALL.

bridgetreilly · 27/09/2018 13:20

Surely DP should be getting 0.40p per mile business expense x4 if he’s ferrying 3 colleagues each day.

45p.

KickAssAngel · 27/09/2018 13:21

Even if it's not true - your OH should tell work that as this is a work-mandated trip, his insurance is no longer valid. Either work pays him for this travel, including the cost of extra insurance, or he has to stop giving lifts. He should put this in an email, to everybody who may even slightly be concerned (Bob, the boss, payroll, health & safety, HR etc) as he could be putting the company into very deep water. What if someone hits the car as he's driving to work, Bob claims whiplash injury and then sues insurance/work as it's a work-supplied journey, and insurance won't pay out? Will work pay for repairs, medical & compensation?

When I was a teacher I was NOT allowed to use my car even for driving to a training event, if it was considered a work journey, as the LEA refused to cover us and our own insurance only covered to and from our workplace without other workers in the car.

FanciedAChangeToday · 27/09/2018 13:23

Tell OH to stop being a wuss and ask Bob and the others for money!! They pay all the petrol and he does the driving for free. Ridiculous situation otherwise

Original poster

MRSMARMITE3 · 27/09/2018 13:24

Ok not sure how to tag for answers but Bob has to get a bus to ours. If wasn't driven would have to get bus then train. Boss didn't say he had to take them but implied as much (plus said that if you don't take Bob he will quit and I can't replace him". There's no Union as small business and we live in a rural ish area so I think that's why boss is worried about Bob leaving as not that many people at the qualified for the job. But that's not my OH responsibly surely!

OP posts:

Magicstar1 · 27/09/2018 13:25

The first thing I'd be doing is telling the boss that Bob lied about his bad back. Then tell him there'll be no more lifts!

GBroGal · 27/09/2018 13:25

"Bob said he would quit if he can't get a lift so OH needs to drive him."

If Bob's skills are so highly prized and he truly is irreplaceable, then surely the company can pay for his transport - whether this is a taxi, or paying your OH to provide the transport.

Can you - or rather your OH, as it's his issue really - contact ACAS for advice?

SchadenfreudePersonified · 27/09/2018 13:26

I bet your insurance doesn't cover your car for work use. DH could use that as a reason for stopping giving lifts

This is what I was thinking, too. Plus - is he driving here, there and everywhere to pick up/drop off? It's adding wear and tear to your car, and time to his working day.

What would happen if he refused?

GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 27/09/2018 13:27

Can your oh just say it's not possible as he has to drop/collect you?
I would really hate that, i value my quiet time in the car without any children

SlothMama · 27/09/2018 13:28

If the boss wants it to carry on he should be paying business mileage (45p per mile for the first 10,000 miles a year), unless the car is a company car he really can't dictate who your husband has to drive in. The extra passengers add weight and therefore cost more in fuel and in wear and tear for the car.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 27/09/2018 13:28

OP, I just wanted to pick up on this point from your original post:
OH spoke to his boss and said he's really not happy driving everyone and his boss told him that Bob said he would quit if he can't get a lift so OH needs to drive him.

Your OH needs to put it to his boss that if Bob has said he would quit if he can't get a lift, well your DH will quit if he is forced to continue to give lifts. The boss can't have it both ways! Boss will have to decide - your OH or Bob.

I agree with the others who have posted that your DH needs to start looking for a new job.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 27/09/2018 13:33

One of my friends used to get roped into taking people with her from site to site, which was a pain as if they were off site at the end of the day she would have to drop them back to their car instead of going straight home. She used to make them listen to dire radio like Women's Hour (they were all men) or politics talk shows and shush them if they tried to talk. They decided to drive themselves after one or two journeys with her.

There are all sorts of passive-aggressive ways to make his car a less preferable place to be than the train. I know from experience that a piece of brie left to its own devices (in our case it fell unseen from the shopping bag into a gap between the boot and the back of the seats) will have people gagging and staggering out of the car. Perhaps he could pop some rotting cheese into some well-sealed tupperware and open the top just before picking them up, then deny he can smell anything at all so won't be investigating it.

In reality I'm more of a head-on person so I would say to the boss that it's a huge inconvenience to me and what is he going to do to make it worth my while continuing. Or I would suggest that as there are three of them coming from the same direction they share the cost of a taxi between them, perhaps with a subsidy from the company.

JamPasty · 27/09/2018 13:34

Are you taking on board the insurance issue OP?

ACatsNoHelpWithThat · 27/09/2018 13:34

Your OH is in a much stronger position if he threatens to quit because the boss loses not only him but Bob as well if it's true Bob would quit if he stopped getting lifts.

fourplusfour · 27/09/2018 13:34

Several years ago now I had to take a colleague to/from work a couple of times a week. I was able to claim mileage from their house to work and extra time too. I did have to let my insurer know but there was no extra premium.

CottonTailRabbit · 27/09/2018 13:35

Your OH should tell his boss that Bob pisses him off and boss had better start paying for a taxi for Bob because OH is going to stop taking Bob because he is fucked off with Bob being annoying.

If your OH is too wet for this conversation then he'll have to make up a reason for not being able to drive himself for a while. Mind you the CF would probably want a free ride in OH's taxi.

Toomuchgoingon · 27/09/2018 13:39

Just as an aside, if your OH got paid mileage for what is essentially his commute, he would get taxed on it as a BIK.

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