To think this is odd

[Cobblersandhogwash]

Is this odd?

So we know this couple from our ds's school. Good fun. Socialised with them four or five times. I like them.

The man's dad died recently. Funeral is today and over 100 miles away. DH is going. He decided today. He doesn’t know the dead man and barely knows the man in the couple. Just had four or five social albeit very enjoyable social occasions with them and other people there.

It’s also a work day.

I just think the card and flowers is enough. We aren't at all close but we like them. I know them better than dh as I do the school runs.

It's odd, right?

It's funny how very different Ireland and England are, in Ireland it's completely normal and England very odd.

I have always appreciated a good turn out at our family funerals, also support from friends even the ones we are not super close to. My MIL's funeral the painter and decorator turned up and a few others besides. Maybe they had heard about the wonderful catering :) We were really touched they made the effort, and I am sure your friends will feel the same (as long as he doesn't start networking the room!)

My MIL's funeral the painter and decorator turned up

Presumably that was MIL's decorator not yours? So he did actually know your MIL? That makes much more sense to me than OP's DH going to this funeral.

This is major weird....did the man invite him for support? Sorry i missed that but weird either way

I don’t think it’s odd at all but then I’m Irish and in Ireland we go to funerals if there’s any connection at all to the deceased or any member of their family

Not super close? They've hung out a few times. Barely friends.

Taken in the context of your OP this is strange. Especially springing it on you today.

(He hasn't recently started working out, considering a change of job, being secretive with his phone, bought a motorbike has he? If yes - I wonder if he has an online crush who lives on the way and this is the chance to meet up. If no, MN has made me extremely paranoid).

In England it’s unusual to go to an acquaintances parent’s funeral if they’re right on your doorstep, it’s extremely odd to travel 2 hours each way to do so.

However, having lived outside the UK for 20 years, my ‘social norms’ are less ‘British’ and I’d go if I felt my acquaintance would like me to, but I’d be cautious & really think about what they would prefer so I wasn’t intruding.

Given your Dh’s reaction to your other friend’s Mum dying though, I’d assume there was more to this.

...and yes, if I felt like utter crap and the kids weren’t well I’d be annoyed he was going too. I hope you are feeling better soon 💐

That would be normal in Ireland. Is he Irish?

It would be completely normal in Spain too. It's probably do to with Catholic/pre-industrial cultures.

Normal in Scotland to go to friends and neighbours’ parents funeral, so, no - wouldn’t think it was at all odd.

No. Dh asked me for his email address and the wife's ph number this morning. He didn't even have those - that's, erm, how close they are.

I got back from school run to find dh in black suit and driving off to the funeral in a hurry to make it because it's 100 miles away.

Wow, funerals are very different in GB.

They absolutely are.

If there was a social/cultural precedent in their family for attending funerals of acquaintances I assume OP wouldn't be posting here asking the question.

Alternative paranoid hypothesis to the affair one above - Could he fancy the wife? Watch out he doesn't start going round to "console the friend" whose parent has died.

Is there any chance he offered to go so that he could help with lift lifts or transport elderly relatives? That would make more sense.

How do people in Ireland get enough time off work for all these funerals?
I agree it’s odd OP. DH took a day off for his best friend’s father’s funeral which was 200 miles away, but an acquaintance he doesn’t even have contact details for? Weird/

Just one lift, not lift lifts ffs.

Yeah, DH would do this too (Irish background) and I've pointed out how odd it would seem in this country (England). Luckily up to now he's taken the point. I think one one occasion it even concerned the funeral of a person in the village with whom he was just on nodding terms.
We have been to the funerals of the parents of our closest friends but not other friends or acquaintances.

Maybe he does fancy the wife. Oh well.

Not sure I should have a conversation about this with him.

He will say I am negative.

I don't understand that this just what Jewish people do. NB the couple are not Jewish. Dh is.

And that it's irrelevant that he doesn't know them that well. He was being supportive.

I stay in the West of Scotland and going to
a funeral of the parent of a colleague or
acquaintance is quite normal.

I’m in WoS also and I wouldn’t say this is true.

Maybe if it’s a close friends parent, or you knew the deceased, but I think it’s a bit odd of the OPs DH to go to this funeral.

There’s a wake the night before and a funeral on the day. It’s not unusual to have a funeral on a Sat or Sun for starters. Then if you can’t get time off, you go to the wake after work but by the service the next day. Also employers in Ireland may be a bit more flexible about people taking a few hrs to get to a funeral than in Eng, but I’m not sure about that.

to clarify ... the parents of other friends....
We would probably attend the funerals of any actual friends if at all able to do so.

I'm afraid I think it's odd too!

It is a bit odd

I think he's lining the bloke up to be his new best friend

I'm Irish and I'd say it's normal to go to a funeral of someone you've never met but you need to have a reasonable good relationship with one of the immediate family. Someone you've socialiised with 5 times is not that- unless the funeral happened to be on your doorstep.