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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Step-baby

527 replies

LateLatte · 24/09/2018 23:29

How long should a step-baby wait to meet its new baby sibling? Assuming baby and Mother are well and hospital/babies home is within 30 minutes of where the older sibling lives and can be dropped off by another family member?

OP posts:
GunpowderGelatine · 25/09/2018 18:53

Well @Johndoe10 are you happy with yourself? I'm very interested to know, if you've stopped congratulating yourself on your amazing wit.

@Bluelady good riddance

carrotcake121 · 25/09/2018 20:00

very evil nasty people on this thread. it says a lot about the human race. such a shame people have to be so nasty behind a screen.

GunpowderGelatine · 25/09/2018 20:14

Yep carrotcake I doubt these 'feminists' who run (non existent) 'feminist groups' wouldn't sneer about someone's traumatic experience if explained to their face.

Never underestimate the power of internalised misogyny.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 25/09/2018 20:20

This is all about the OP finding a stick to beat her ex and his new P with over some imaginary slight and is frankly pathetic

It certainly appears that way.

Johndoe10 · 25/09/2018 20:22

gun I never said I run feminist groups. Why are you lying? It’s weird.

Your the one that’s goading and you should probably have a break. Look at how your speaking about a child. ‘Dearest stepson come third I’m afraid it’s like you get enjoyment out of being spiteful to a child.

I can see your still very angry about your birth but your letting it spill on to other posters.

You seriously need to have a word with yourself or maybe get councilling. It really isn’t being a feminist to proudly exclude one of your step children. That’s just being spiteful and nasty.

I wish you luck in your life and hopefully you can get past your experience

GunpowderGelatine · 25/09/2018 20:22

Yep, it never crossed OP's mind how Mum and baby were doing, too hellbent on making the stepmum look like the bad guy (and hasn't t worked a treat on this thread)

Johndoe10 · 25/09/2018 20:23

Never underestimate the power of internalised misogyny

You sound really unhinged.

Cluelesssss · 25/09/2018 20:26

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Johndoe10 · 25/09/2018 20:27
Smile
funinthesun18 · 25/09/2018 20:29

I’m sure Gunpowder has got past her experience. Just because she has spoken about it on this thread is doesn’t mean she isn’t able to function through life like you’re implying.

I’m probably one of the least feminist women on here (I often end up on those stupid public toilet threads to speak up for 7 year old boys being seen as perverts🙄), but even I can see that after giving birth the woman and baby come first. Especially after one where the woman nearly died!

flamingofridays · 25/09/2018 20:30

Nobody is being spiteful towards children! Its like youre reading a different thread!

GunpowderGelatine · 25/09/2018 20:33

Your the one that’s goading and you should probably have a break

It’s ‘you're’. And when you sneered and made a joke at me when I said how I nearly died I’m pretty sure it’s YOU goading. Do you not think it was a nasty thing to say or are you proud of that?

I never said I run feminist groups. Why are you lying? It’s weird.

Correction - you are 'very active' in your local feminist group, apparently. Or did you forget you made that bit up earlier?.

Dearest stepson come third I’m afraid it’s like you get enjoyment out of being spiteful to a child

Ha that's rich from someone who makes jokes about women's traumatic birth experiences! And he does come third - if you don't like it it's tough shit. Where else would he come?!

I can see your still very angry about your birth but your letting it spill on to other posters.

I'm angry that vile people like you see fit to mock my experience

You seriously need to have a word with yourself or maybe get councilling. It really isn’t being a feminist to proudly exclude one of your step children. That’s just being spiteful and nasty.

I don't have step children. And I've had counselling (note the spelling). Again, what a fucking nerve calling ME nasty. How is it a unfeminist to say postnatal women deserve a right to privacy? It's not excluding a stepchild to ask to have privacy after giving birth, come on this isn't rocket science.

I wish you luck in your life and hopefully you can get past your experience

You can shove your passive aggressive good wishes. Your comment upset me more than it should but I hope you feel good knowing it did

GunpowderGelatine · 25/09/2018 20:33

You sound really unhinged

You sound really dense but there you go

GunpowderGelatine · 25/09/2018 20:34

I doubt there's much local government can do.

GrinGrinGrinGrin

GunpowderGelatine · 25/09/2018 20:36

Thanks @funinthesun18 I have got past my experience, and I'm not ashamed to tell my story especially as I know women get sick of hearing "as long as baby is fine that all that matters". I like to remind women that TBEG matter just as much and they need to remember that and insist on having their way through their birth experience. I have told my birth story a few times on here when appropriate but never have I been made fun of for it Confused

ohreallyohreallyoh · 25/09/2018 20:39

I did not introduce my older child to their younger sibling for several days and nobody batted an eyelid, presumably because they were full siblings

Well, plenty of people would bat an eyelid if you had a normal birth and just fancied some time alone. But that wasn’t your experience - as you have later detailed. If the step mum concerned has had that kind of experience then fair enough, but the chances of that aren’t particularly high.

The crux of the matter is whether or not anyone has visited and whether the father has bothered to communicate with his son about why visiting might not be possible at the current time. If the young man in question is worried about new baby sibling (and maybe even step mum),actually communicating with him would help. He is old enough to be treated with respect and to be told of any issues there may be. The OP has every right to be pissed off with an ex who can’t be bothered to put in that call - particularly when we all know he won’t have failed to communicate with other family following the arrival of the baby.

Johndoe10 · 25/09/2018 20:40

Gun im getting sick of hearing it because you have being bleeting on about it since this afternoon.

Why don’t you create a thread that’s all about you instead of hijacking this one?

GunpowderGelatine · 25/09/2018 20:40

*They not TBEG 🤦🏼‍♀️ (bit embarrassing when I've corrected other people's spelling Grin)

MistressDeeCee · 25/09/2018 20:40

If you're still here OP, ask to have this thread moved to Relationships. Let the bullies and attention seekers get their jollies elsewhere

GunpowderGelatine · 25/09/2018 20:41

Hearing what Jack? That you're a nasty piece of work? Would you disagree? Do you think what you said was acceptable?

Johndoe10 · 25/09/2018 20:42

ohreally I agree

Johndoe10 · 25/09/2018 20:43

Why are derailing the thread?

Honestly start your own.

GunpowderGelatine · 25/09/2018 20:43

John not Jack 😳

Johndoe10 · 25/09/2018 20:44

Yeah go and have a break

GunpowderGelatine · 25/09/2018 20:44

I'm not. I'm asking you if you think it's acceptable to sneer at women's traumatic birth experiences? If not, why did you do it?