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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To let DD wear this dress to a wedding?

384 replies

veruka · 24/09/2018 20:36

My friend thinks it's unfair on the bridesmaids/bride?

https://www.matalan.co.uk/product/detail/s2652137c356/girls-corsage-bridesmaid-dress-3-13yrs-cream?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIxOOpkrHU3QIVLZPtCh2o5g63EAQYKCABEgJjlPDBwE

OP posts:
twinkledag · 25/09/2018 09:07

It wouldn't bother me. I say let her wear it.

Put bright pink tights with it if you're concerned?

Heratnumber7 · 25/09/2018 09:10

She's 4. She'll cry. She'll get over it.
You're the boss. Buy a different dress

Babayaggatheboneylegged · 25/09/2018 09:13

Dear God, who on earth has time to get vexed about what a FOUR YEAR OLD wears to a wedding?! Honestly, why do people care? I hardly think anyone's going to mistake her for the bride? Honestly, the world has gone mad!

FruitofAutumn · 25/09/2018 09:19

Bridesmaid dresses at a wedding are something Thespecial for the BMs.Honestly people will think you are so needy that you need your DD to be centre of attention all the time,

User12879923378 · 25/09/2018 09:24

If I were the bride I really wouldn't stop a four year old from wearing a dress she already owned and desperately wanted to wear.

Frogscotch7 · 25/09/2018 09:31

Why would anyone care what a four year old wants to wear. The dress is lovely - let her wear it! If you’re worried send a pic to the bride and ask for her approval.

Some of the stories here are making me feel delightfully sane. Losing your shit over a buttonhole or a 3 month old’s outfit at a baby naming?? Wtf???

We had kilts for the men at our wedding, dh’s Brother wore a different tartan, and a few men not in the wedding party decided to wear kilts too. Guess what? We still had a brilliant day. All these people with sticks up their arses are likely to end up divorced anyway, unless they marry men who speak a different language of have a zilla fetish.

blackteasplease · 25/09/2018 09:43

If you already have it, would have to buy anther one if not and she's only 4 I think it's fine.

Ask the bride if you are worried.

If I was the bride I wouldn't give a toss what other kids at the wedding wear, be it a dress sold as a flower girl dress or a pirate costume.

Lovemusic33 · 25/09/2018 09:48

Let her wear it, what does it matter if it’s a flower girls dress or not? If I was the bride I wouldn’t mind what other people wore let alone be bothered what a 4 year old was wearing.

DialsMavis · 25/09/2018 09:51

At SIL wedding another child turned up in same dress as flower girls. Bride nor flower girls nor their parents minded at all

ADastardlyThing · 25/09/2018 10:02

Absolutely fine. Pink tights, pink cardi. No problem at all with a 4 yo little girl wearing a pretty dress like that.

peopleispeople · 25/09/2018 10:02

Awe its a really cute dress, I don't see any problem with her wearing it.

I don't even think it looks like a flower girl/bridesmaid outfit tbh. Just because it says so in the description, doesn't make it so.

My bridesmaid dress wasn't a 'bridesmaid' dress.

If you are still worried though... I'd just ask the bridal party.

PollyFlinderz · 25/09/2018 10:15

Op, let her wear it. It’s no different to a party dress

Randomusername01 · 25/09/2018 10:40

It's fine. It's a beautiful dress for a 4 year old. Reading the bridezillas/justifications for being aghast at a 4 year olds dress. There is none, you'd just be a cunt.

Knittedfairies · 25/09/2018 10:41

I’d be very surprised if bride gets ‘upset’ by a 4 year old wearing a white dress... Let her wear her pretty dress; it will save you some cash, most party dresses look like that anyway, and it won’t fit her for long so she needs to get some use out of it. A pretty cardi will help separate her from the bridesmaids.

Geraldine170 · 25/09/2018 11:33

No WAY. I have been on the receiving end of this and it is not nice. I was bridesmaid for my godmother and we had discussed me being her bridesmaid since I was very little so I’d been looking forwards to it for years. It was a very special and important occasion to me.

Somebody came with their daughter in a very fussy flower girl dress. I was an older child and the bride had chosen a bridesmaid dress which was quite understated. The net result was that all day people were making a fuss about the little flower girl and I was overlooked. Even at the reception there was an assumption from staff she was the bridesmaid and they tried to put her in my seat at the top table and had to be corrected. It was very disappointing for me.

The bride was fed up too because she took it as a hint and she deliberately didn’t invite this girl to be a bridesmaid because she knew she’d promised me the job years ago. Nobody could say anything either because who want to ruin a wedding with a row.

Please don’t do this OP. You always get people on these threads saying that they wouldn’t mind or they had a friend who didn’t mind, but they are not this bride. Some people do mind. You are running the risk of really upsetting someone on an important day. It’s an incredibly rude and selfish to do and just not worth it.

Incidentally the woman who did it at my Godmother’s wedding would probably tell you that everybody was fine with it. They were upset just nobody said it to the mother’s face. Please don’t do it, it’s a horrible thing to do.

Geraldine170 · 25/09/2018 11:37

Also asking the bride is not really on either. It’s a very difficult to say no to that and it would not be right putting her in a position where she feels pressured into doing something she doesn’t want.

Wolfiefan · 25/09/2018 11:43

It’s a child’s dress. Pressure the bride? Grin How daft. Better to ask and be told. If the bride doesn’t care then why spend money on another dress she would probably wear once.

Geraldine170 · 25/09/2018 11:43

it would be unfair to cause upset to a small flower girl who is excited to have a special role.

This is the point. It’s not about upsetting the bride, it’s just upsetting the children involved. I do think it is disrespectful to the bride too. She has chosen her bridesmaids and they didn’t include OPs DD. Overriding that and putting your DD in a bridesmaid dress sends the message you don’t give a shit about the brides decision and you’re going to do what you want anyway. It is rude.

Mookatron · 25/09/2018 11:44

I think asking the bride is fine, in a message or something. If you ask 'is it ok for xx to wear this dress for your wedding or is she going to look like a wannabe bridesmaid?' the opt out is in the question. You don't have to say you've bought it or the kid has fallen in love with it.

Fraula · 25/09/2018 11:48

I cannot believe this is a thing. I would never, ever have questioned it. Total madness.

mintich · 25/09/2018 11:53

To me that just looks like a little girls party dress. It doesn't seem fancy enough to be a flower girls. I wouldn't care if a child came to my wedding in that.
I wouldn't think there was a problem, but if you think it will be, buy another dress

SauvignonBlah · 25/09/2018 11:55

Its fine. Just put a brightish pink cardigan and shoes with it.

PrivateDoor · 25/09/2018 12:39

She will look gorgeous in it. I cannot believe anyone would give this even a 2nd thought. Some strange people on this thread!

ScabbyBabby · 25/09/2018 12:45

You’d have to be a total nob to object to a 4 year old wearing this dress imo.

It looks like a party dress. And who cares if the bridesmaids are wearing pink? Pink is likely a favourite colour of many little girls (and boys). If it was my wedding (never gonna happen but hypothetically) I’d want my little guests to be happy- that’s all.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 25/09/2018 12:55

You’d have to be a total nob to object to a 4 year old wearing this dress

My exact thoughts.

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