Would you allow adult child do what they want to their room in your house?

[Whalles]

Mine wants to get a pet snake. I'm really not keen on the idea, but they don't see a problem as it'll be in their room. Thoughts please.

Why do MNers hate animals so much?! And resent their children living in their house past the age of 18? Mumsnet is a strange place!

Why do MNers hate animals so much?! I love animals. We show and compete with dogs, have cats, fish, birds, and assorted livestock. It would still be no to a snake.

No chance! He picked his bedroom furniture and a red wall at 10. Put football stickers on his bed at 7. Has it as messy as he likes pretty much. Furniture is where he wanted it although it would look better how I wanted it. It’s his room. He’s now 17. But a snake? No bloody way! I would have nightmares!

Nope, no way. In our house all new pets (regardless of owner) are agreed on by adults in the house. I wanted a second dog but waited until DH was ok with it.

I have an adult man child and I won't allow his 9ft Common Boa in my home either!

To be fair they only escape if the owner has been careless.

I think this one comes down to whether you like snakes or not. For me, there is no way I’d have one in the house as I’m terrified of them. I can’t think of many animals I’d be ok with adult children having as I’ve chosen to be pet free and don’t want the responsibility. For others the balance would be different. Most adult children if renting afterwards would then find it harder to find somewhere that accepts pets so you might not be doing them any favours/could get stuck looking after the animal once they’d moved on.

No way.

And anyway, this isn't the same as doing what he wants to the room.

I wouldn't et mine have pets and I wouldn't let them ruin the fabric of the room in other ways. Or smoke there.

Adult kids in your home are, in most cases, quite subsidised and living in the family home. They are not joint tenants in a flat share. If they can't accept that gracefully, they need to find another landlord.

Like a PP, a family member has had a corn snake since she was a kid and she's now in her 20's. Yes to the dead mice in the freezer but other than that he's been no trouble. Would still be a no from me though. Snakes are definitely not my thing!

I live with my parents right now due to poor health circumstances, I have six snakes. I had them long before i moved back in, luckily my parents were absolutely fine with them but if you don't want a snake in your house, that's your right to say no. I will point out that snakes don't just escape though, when kept responsibly in a locked enclosure you should have no issues.

Wouldn’t mind a snake, no way would I want a dog. But it’s about the conversations and relationships when you are sharing the house with adult children, and what others in the house can tolerate. If you hate something, it’s reasonable to say ‘In your own place, fine. Not here’

Not sure. Personally I wouldn’t have a problem with a snake (they’re lovely!) but I also think it a bit cruel to keep it locked in what’s effectively a small box. Better if it was allowed out a lot. But I’m guessing it’s not going to be as it wouldn’t be welcome round the house so it’s not a good pet.

If he's 18, will he be looking at uni in the near future? What would happen to the snake then?

I would place limits on the type of snake, to prevent issues if it escaped, but otherwise would probably permit

I’m okay with snakes.. I think it would be pretty cool. I wouldn’t want to care for it though so it depends whether I thought they were mature enough to care for it properly. In reality though our dog would try to eat it and possibly get eaten herself so no, the answer would have to be no

No way

Well,, OP, what are DS's plans for FE, work and future living arrangements?

In his defence it could be worse, at that age my DP brought home a new girlfriend with a 4yr old and 6mo DC from previous dads They’d maybe have preferred a snake! (At the time, we’re all happy now haha)

Depends on why you don't want a snake in your house tbh. Are you scared of them? Worried he won't look after it?

No because presumably they will eventually move into rented accommodation and if they can't afford one which allows snakes guess who ends up with a new friend

Decoration probably yes, snake definitely no. In fact any pet no.

Once upon a time I'd of said yes, but when I was younger I had a corn snake which got out and was found 3 month later coming out of the grill between the bonnet and window screen of next doors car. Managed to get it back and it escapes again a few weeks later - still no idea how and it was never seen again. Since then id say no, although harmless it's not a nice feeling thinking you may wake to a snake in your bed trying to find warmth 😱

I've had about twenty snakes three spiders and a three schools of piranhas. The piranhas ate each other faces off when the fire alarms went of. Two snakes escaped found one in the toilet. Three snakes bit me and two more tried to. They need frozen mice and if they are big enough rabbits which look gross in the freezer. They smell really bad when they go to the toilet like a mixture of slurry and chicken poo. They take all day to feed and only some of them can be handled. Let alone if they are venomous then you need shots in the house that need to be renewed every few months. Spiders need to eat crickets which won't shut up. Also spiders bite and tarantulas flick nasty itchy hairs that can get in your eyes. When you go to a snake shop they don't tell you all the cons they just want to sell you a snake and screw the family home they are putting at risk. We need much better laws in place for buying dangerous animals. You shouldnt be able to go down the high street and buy a baby rattlesnake. Just don't let him. You don't want to have to learn how to dangle a defrosted mouse over a cage without getting bit.

No to any sort of pet at 18yo, where's the pet going to live when he's off to uni, out all the time with a gf, on holiday with friends, living in rented accommodation with a no pets rule? Plus do you want frozen mice in your freezer and defrosting mice on your draining board?

I think it's okay for younger children who will be at home for quite some time, and of course parents get pets for little children knowing as parents, they'll need to have the responsibility. Not great for a young adult who probably has no idea where they'll be next year!

Love the info @bsbabas

My mum dropped a whole box of live crickets in our cottage (they were for my brother's lizards). We could hear them for months and some took up refuge in the upright piano in my bedroom!! It was horrible but I got really good at catching them after a while.

I buy the frozen mice and rats and put them in my handbag to take home (no problem they are wrapped up)
I have a right laugh imagining someone snatching my bag to open it and find That! 😁 but I love reptiles myself and have been happy to learn about them and look after them when ds not been around.
I m really not squeamish though luckily