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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put my son in leggings with kisses on them?

326 replies

changedmyusername6 · 23/09/2018 17:00

The comments today have included:

"Oh X I normally love what you put him in but those make him look so camp" (camp??? I was shocked)

"Are those your DD's?"

"They're so feminine, he looks like a little girl with short hair"

AIBU to think it's ridiculous? He's not in a dress and tights.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
larrygrylls · 23/09/2018 22:07

Changed,

Your faux naïveté ain’t charming. You do know what ‘boy’ and ‘girl’ dress is, you just don’t want it to be a thing. Fair enough. I tend to agree with you that any sensible and comfy outfit is great on either sex.

However, where I take serious issue is you using a small child to make your point. You say he has no interest in what he wears, so you choose for him. Why not? Most kids aged four are taking an interest in their clothing.

Maybe you should have a chat to him about why people wear what they do and why and let him make a more educated choice.

itsbritneybiatches · 23/09/2018 22:09

Well she is not going in that. It must be hard for children and mums too, but. At that age surely they want to fit in

itsbritneybiatches · 23/09/2018 22:11

I'm just struggling that at four or five why it's a issue

Igorina · 23/09/2018 22:31

Maybe you should have a chat to him about why people wear what they do and why

How would you have that chat, Larry? What would you say?

rainingcatsanddog · 23/09/2018 22:45

Skinny jeans are quickly going out of fashion at the moment, Raining

My teenagers would care to disagree. 😂 It's all dark super skinnies round here.

Emilizz34 · 23/09/2018 23:04

Haven’t read the other replies but only on mumsnet do people ponder about dressing boys in princess dresses , leggings with kisses and other such rubbish .
Our mothers never had such stresses to deal with Hmm

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 23/09/2018 23:05

Like it or not, lots of people make statements when dressing their kids. Designer, branded, sports kits (for example football tops for babies who are clearly too young to choose a sport or team for themselves), even putting a girl in a pink frilly dress is making a statement that you are more likely to be bringing them up in traditional gender roles. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with any of the above, but most clothes give out some kind of impression.

Why is putting kids in clothes of the opposite of what's expected for that gender seen as worse? There have been a lot of comments around how awful it is to make a statement against gender stereotyping through kids and people should do it themselves instead.

Why does it do any harm if the kids are young and aren't being bullied or teased at all? Surely kids are the very people that we need to be teaching that they are not stuck in defined roles or not allowed to have preferences for certain things or colours etc because of their gender

I find it strange that the thought of a boy in pink leggings makes so many people so angry.

Spaghettijumper · 23/09/2018 23:22

OP my 7 year old boy wears dresses. You can imagine the fun thread I had about that.

I think what I struggle with is the extent to which people fear being in any way 'different.' I didn't realise how terrifying people find it. I understand people's reactions in that context - they have an actual fear reaction to the thought of people pointing or commenting, and so they can't understand why someone wouldn't do anything they could to avoid it.

larrygrylls · 24/09/2018 05:39

Igorina,

Exactly the chat I had with my boys; clothes are just clothes and they are there to be warm and comfy. However traditionally some clothes are for boys and Rome for girls. Wear what you like but people may comment if you choose clothes which are traditionally for girls.

GoatYoga · 24/09/2018 05:43

@Igorina I have a five-year-old son and all I saw were pink t-shirts/polo shirts/shorts/chinos when we were shopping for his summer outfits this year.

Really - that’s all you saw? Where do you shop?

Clandestino · 24/09/2018 06:09

Bloody hell, this thread is full of empowered modern women! Nope. It feels more like a throwback to the 50s.
I love the outfit. The leggings look great. OP, ignore the old fashioned crowd who believe a boy should never touch anything that looks "girly " otherwise their penises will fall off and they will grow boobies.

Sleephead1 · 24/09/2018 06:14

I'm so surprised by the opinions on here and that people are so surprised boys wear leggings Obviously my son does but they are plenty of mainstream shops that have leggings in the boys section plus all the online shops with instagram accounts that make handmade leggings and market them at boys and girls. So I'm truthfully surprised people are so shocked I think you probably shop in some similar places to me and everything is marketed as unisex

Clandestino · 24/09/2018 06:16

Btw - I don't buy that kids would laugh at their peers about their choice of clothing.
It always starts with an idiotic adult - and they came flying to this thread like wasps to a ripe peach - saying to her child "Look at the boy, he is wearing girls clothes, that's so funny and inappropriate!" This is how you build establish prejudice.

bourbonbiccy · 24/09/2018 06:39

As previously said you are quite entitled to dress your child in whatever you want, but people will also draw a first impression from a child in leggings with kisses on them, and that impression ( for me ) would be that the child is a girl.
I have a DS and granted the range is not as big as for "girls" but I can dress him without being in blue or having dinosaurs, tractors or superheroes, but I also know if I put a dress on him, people will assume he is a girl and I wouldn't be offended by that assumption.

ProfessorMoody · 24/09/2018 07:44

I find it strange that the thought of a boy in pink leggings makes so many people so angry

Me too, but it says a LOT about the person.

I don't buy that kids would laugh at their peers about their choice of clothing.
It always starts with an idiotic adult

Absolutely. I've never taught a child up to the age of about 6-7 who has looked twice at what another child is wearing. Prejudice is taught by parents/adults. I remember a 7 year old boy asking another why he had a girl bag (Frozen). He said his Dad said Frozen was for girls. An actual father told his child that a Disney film and all it's merchandise was only for girls! Sometimes, people are unbelievable.

ProfessorMoody · 24/09/2018 07:45

Its* DYAC

MaisyPops · 24/09/2018 07:51

bourbonbiccy
Pretty much.
I think children should make whatever choices they want on clothing.

As an adult however when making decisions for a child, make whatever choices you like, but don't then get offended or take the faux naive stance of 'but I can't see how an outfit leaning towards a particular stereotype might mean people notice it's towards a particular stereotype'.

Nothing to do with being angry about a boy wearing pink (haven't most people on here said they wouldn't have an issue with it) & more to do with this wide eyed claim that some enlightened people live in a socialisation vacuum where gender constructs just don't exist and it's only backwards people who would even notice if stereotypes were alluded to.

Poloshot · 24/09/2018 07:53

Seems odd but put him in what you want

Whatsmynameagain82 · 24/09/2018 08:06

LOVE the vampire / rocky horror leggings, where are they from please?

MarthasGinYard · 24/09/2018 08:08

Love those Llama leggings

DurhamDurham · 24/09/2018 08:22

I only ever hear about parents dressing their boys in leggings/tights/dresses on Mumsnet

I've never seen this anywhere else. I do think you should dress your child how you see fit, obviously taking your child's views in to account, but it does all seem very 'try hard'.....look at me and my son in an Elsa dress. Do it but don't be surprised when other people are surprised.

DevonshireCreamTea · 24/09/2018 08:50

If you want to dress your son is girls clothing that's fine but of course people will comment, people actually are allowed to have views and opinions different to you.

batshitebather · 24/09/2018 09:27

My DS wears these all the time, I think they are lovely & pratical

To put my son in leggings with kisses on them?
To put my son in leggings with kisses on them?
PlinkPlink · 24/09/2018 09:43

I love those leggings and they really suit your little one. Totally rocking them!

I don't think pink is a girls colour. I think some lads look lovely in pink. The print is definitely different and I can sort of see why people would think it's girly - alot of women's clothes has lipmarks on... tops, leggings, even things like mugs and stuff aimed at women have them on.

Doesn't particularly bother me. I think they can get away with wearing crazy stuff when they're little. If I could get away with wearing stuff like that I would!! 😂

Witchofwisteria · 24/09/2018 10:00

I know everyone is saying jeans are not nice on little kids - I agree. But you can get joggers which are even comfier than leggings and not so "controversial". I do think you are setting yourself and your DS up for getting comments from others. Other kids that might be a bit older can be especially savage so I would worry they would bully him.

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