Is she being a CF?

[lexi727]

Friend who has twins the same age as my DS (2) suggested the other day that we go to a soft play area on Monday to catch up/so the boys can tire each other a bit. I said yes, and suggested that afterwards she and the twins come to my house for lunch afterwards. All is agreed, looking forward to it etc etc.

She has now messaged me saying this 'Hi Lexi727, looking forward to seeing you at softplay on Monday. Since you have suggested that the boys and I come over to yours afterwards anyway, would it be okay if I just dropped them at yours afterwards and then got all my housework/shopping done and then picked them up later in the day?' Then went on to send a second message about 10 mins later just saying how hard it is to cope with twins and get everything done round the house.

I haven't replied yet, but am I right in saying wtf? I also have a 6 week old DD, and I'm not sure if I can control 3 rowdy two year olds?!?! I invited them under the assumption she would be there too, and it was very clear when I suggested it that she was to come as well. I even said I would get in some tetley tea bags for her! (She only likes tetley tea, weird but whatever)

AIBU to say fuck no, or should I just be a good friend and allow her to get her cleaning done whilst I try and entertain three 2 year olds as well as look after DD?

She is delusional you looked after 1 child when you had 1 child making 2 children. She thinks that is the same as looking after 2 children when you have children making 4 and she thinks that's the same!! And has the nerve to say your selfish!

Not mention this is wasn't an offer you are rescinding it's her trying to change plans! Well done on saying no got to nip stuff like this in the bud early!

She can get to fuck as far as I’m concerned. She’s outrageous.

What do your mutual friends think? Have they had similar situations?

I wouldn’t engage any more. Your replies have been far more sensible than anything I’d have written...

bloody cheek doesnt she think you might like some time to do jobs as well with free childcare tell her to jog on

I would ditch her just for using the word “hun”.

She knows she will not reciprocate, that was thrown in there by her anyway. Others have babysat for her, but she did not reciprocate.

Wow, most people would just apologise and say I didn't realise... but she's carried on arguing

Ahhh, the cheeky fuckery is strong in this one....

It is a bit cheeky... but maybe she's desperate. Obviously you're in very similar circumstances with your 2 though! Maybe say that would be fine, & you're right you're finding it really tough too so maybe next Monday she could have your 2 for a few hours so you can get jobs done? I'm all for helping out but obviously not having the piss taken! If you could benefit from. Few hours OP even not to clean but to chill out! I'd go with that...

Just read some of the update thread she should of accepted no... surprised she's arguing

Yep cheeky fucker extraordinaire!

😲 what a cheeky fucker!

@aaaaargghhhhelpme four of us from school all stayed in touch and ended up all having our first DC's within a year of eachother! Since then 3 of us (not including CF) have all watched each others kid's if necessary, never taking the piss. Whenever she's needed a hand we've always helped. E.g. if one of her kids is ill we will take the other, if there's a doctors appt we will take the DC who isn't going to the appt. Never both at the same time, as it's never come up before. I've never asked her to look after DS, but when the other two have queried if they can send their DC to hers she's always said she can't cope with 3 🙄

She's not a cheeky fucker she's horrible! She's pushed it TWICE now after you've said no and called you selfish.

Fuck her off op.

A big CF who has been caught out. People will know where she is at, and won't help her out anymore, as it isen't reciprocated. She just assumed you would have her twins, not asking nicely, and threw her toys out of the pram, when you said no.

Is she still going?!

I’ve looked after my friends two, so had 4 in one, go but that was two 3yr olds a two year old and a 1yr old and she had a midwife appt so slightly bloody different!

Wow just wow. Your responses have been spot on just don't engage with her. She wanted time to shop AND time to do some houseeork - you'd be looking at at least 3/4 hours of her kids. Goodness some people

No not just a couple of hours, thing about 3-4 hours looking after her kids with no appreciation.

She might take the piss, coming later to pick them up, as she seems that type.

Ah. So would your friends understand if you quietly dropped her? Is she already known for it (sounds like she is!)

Doesnt sound like much loss as a friend to be honest. Calling you selfish for not being at her beck and call when you have a six week old baby would be the final straw for me.

I guess what I’m asking is - would it totally ruin your group friendship if you dropped her?

Oh my god she sounds like my idea of hell. Definitely don't back down, you need to set this boundary

I second what Lemontart 25 said! Agree it's really cheeky of your friend! Nip it in the bud before it becomes a regular thing.

I would call her out on the fact she’s had help previously and not returned the favour.

Read all your updates. Wow, just wow! You have replied to all her messages really well. She is trying to emotionally black mail you into baby sitting. That's not right.

Eh does she realise you have 2 children aswell and a 6 week old and a 2 year old will probably be harder that 2 2 year olds. She is defo a cf!

Sorry just read the whole thread. I actually can't believe their are people with that much of a brass neck. Good for you for not rising to it OP. I would me cutting contact with that cheeky cow.