Is she being a CF?

[lexi727]

Friend who has twins the same age as my DS (2) suggested the other day that we go to a soft play area on Monday to catch up/so the boys can tire each other a bit. I said yes, and suggested that afterwards she and the twins come to my house for lunch afterwards. All is agreed, looking forward to it etc etc.

She has now messaged me saying this 'Hi Lexi727, looking forward to seeing you at softplay on Monday. Since you have suggested that the boys and I come over to yours afterwards anyway, would it be okay if I just dropped them at yours afterwards and then got all my housework/shopping done and then picked them up later in the day?' Then went on to send a second message about 10 mins later just saying how hard it is to cope with twins and get everything done round the house.

I haven't replied yet, but am I right in saying wtf? I also have a 6 week old DD, and I'm not sure if I can control 3 rowdy two year olds?!?! I invited them under the assumption she would be there too, and it was very clear when I suggested it that she was to come as well. I even said I would get in some tetley tea bags for her! (She only likes tetley tea, weird but whatever)

AIBU to say fuck no, or should I just be a good friend and allow her to get her cleaning done whilst I try and entertain three 2 year olds as well as look after DD?

I thought she wasn’t that bad until I read you had a 6 week old! In general I’m all for childcare swaps like this and would have suggested you try it out as a one off and ask her for a reciprocal date to hand your toddler over, but no. I’d say it’s too much.

How about saying that you're having the same problem trying to get stuff done, you're happy to have her twins for an hour or two if she can do the same for your DS another day next week? And don't agree until you have actually agreed a day and time!

She is a CF. Just tell her no.

Cheeky! Reply saying as long as you can take mine next week!

Ha, can't believe she suggested it. No way, it would become a regular thing. Harsh as it is she needs to figure out a way to do it or have a scruffy house like me.

I'd just say you're really sorry but not comfortable looking after 4 kids on your own and as they're young might be tired and hard to handle after softplay.

Cheeky, but I suppose if you don't ask you don't get. And she's asking not telling. If you're gonna do it then say that you expect a reciprocal arrangement so that you can get your housework done.

What is wrong with people? Definitely tell her no.

Call her bluff. Say yeah that's fine. Can you haven't two the following week so I can do the same?

I wouldn’t consider it cheeky a friend asking for help... how fecking rude, ay?

If you don’t feel like you can manage it, just say so honestly. I don’t see the problem here.

Just tell her no, that doesn't work for you but you'd be happy to reschedule for a time they can all come round.

Text her back, sounds like it could work, when can you have mine??

If you didn't have the 6 week old I might let it pass, but in the circumstances I think she is very cheeky. In would be more in order if she offered to take your two year old for a couple of hours after lunch. No way would I take them.

BobLemon, it's cheeky because it's pretty clear the friend had no intention of coming from the beginning. It's also cheeky because asking someone with a 2yo and a tiny baby to look after two 2yo is just not on. It's not like they're 7yo and can busy themselves whilst mum concentrates on the baby. Especially so if she's not prepared to reciprocate.

Didnt think she was too cheeky until you said you have a newborn too!

If it was reciprocated it would be nice

My twins are 2. Not hard to get housework done with them around (paw patrol for 1/2 hour)

Say no I am sorry, invite was for you and the twins to have lunch with us, I have enough on my plate with a newborn and ds thanks. I have my housework to catch up with! Cheeky CF!

I don't think it is cheeky per se, it's the sort of thing we would ask in my circle of friends quite easily. But equally not at all unreasonable to say no.

Even if you were prepared to take them to the soft play how on earth would you get them plus your children there with the logistics of getting all the car seats in the car?

Also Tetley? Yorkshire? It's Rington's or nowt.

No.

Barry's Gold (the red box, not the green one). Even in hard water areas, it's outstanding.

You really do just need to text her back: “LOL.”

“I’m afraid that doesn’t work for me. I’m still available to make lunch for you if you would like but it wasn’t an offer to babysit. Let me know. Xx”

Yorkshire tea agreed. Say no you'd be worried about having an extra two with a new born. Definite CFery

Yes! Yes! She IS a CF!

Text back:

'No fucking way smiley face'

A text saying haha good one that was a funny joke... you have a 6wk old ffs is she insane wanting you to watch all the kids on your own

"She has now messaged me saying this"

Simply text back saying ...

"I'd rather not do that. My idea for lunch was that it would be a small social occasion for us, as well as for the children. Do you still want to come, or would you rather we just did the soft-play for the children, only?"

No no, actually text back that you've remembered you have a shit load of things to do, so you're cancelling lunch.