Is she being a CF?

[lexi727]

Friend who has twins the same age as my DS (2) suggested the other day that we go to a soft play area on Monday to catch up/so the boys can tire each other a bit. I said yes, and suggested that afterwards she and the twins come to my house for lunch afterwards. All is agreed, looking forward to it etc etc.

She has now messaged me saying this 'Hi Lexi727, looking forward to seeing you at softplay on Monday. Since you have suggested that the boys and I come over to yours afterwards anyway, would it be okay if I just dropped them at yours afterwards and then got all my housework/shopping done and then picked them up later in the day?' Then went on to send a second message about 10 mins later just saying how hard it is to cope with twins and get everything done round the house.

I haven't replied yet, but am I right in saying wtf? I also have a 6 week old DD, and I'm not sure if I can control 3 rowdy two year olds?!?! I invited them under the assumption she would be there too, and it was very clear when I suggested it that she was to come as well. I even said I would get in some tetley tea bags for her! (She only likes tetley tea, weird but whatever)

AIBU to say fuck no, or should I just be a good friend and allow her to get her cleaning done whilst I try and entertain three 2 year olds as well as look after DD?

From her:
You took xxxxx a few months ago, I don’t understand why are you are refusing to take the boys? All I want is one afternoon of help, I’ve not ever asked you for anything else! I would take xxxxx whenever you wanted me to Hun, you’ve just not asked! I didn’t think you were a selfish person, but it’s clear you are.

In reply:

I took xxxxx once or twice when I only had xxxxx. I don’t want to engage in this anymore xxx as it is a pointless argument. I don’t feel comfortable looking after all four kids at once. I’m sorry if you feel that you have no help, but I don’t think that I’m the person you need to have that conversation with. X

Context: first xxxx is our friends son who I took a few times for the day before my DD was born

Why are people so entitled? It's like she thinks you owe her childcare. And she even calls you hun when she's slagging you off, ffs. How have you put up with her calling you hun for this long without losing it?! Wide berth from now on I think.

Oh dear. Definitely a cf. Who on earth does she think she is?

Thanks AllyMcBeagle

OP I am rarely this gobsmacked.

So sorry you have realised she is no real friend & thinks you owe her something. How rude. You are better off without her. Has she not even contemplated being up through the night with a 6 week old is enough alone let alone then having your own toddler, plus 2 more? Tell her "Sorry not my problem, whilst you may need help why you think another mother of 2 young children is your answer. I have no idea".

@eddielizzard I have never hunned anybody before. How does one fall into the trap of constantly hunning other people? Is it easy? Are we all at risk? Should I be taking precautions?

personally.. I'd be blocking this selfish entitled bitch now OP...

Wow just wow, I would have said ok, don't worry if I were here, not launch into a personal attack. She should be angry with her lazy husband.

@brokenharbour I don't think I ever noticed it was passive aggressive before to be honest! Currently I am raging about it though.

@Aeroflotgirl her husband is absolutely awful. I think she might be deflecting her issues with him on to me

Good reply!

Bloody hell Shea a cheeky bitch! Tell her to book them in nursery to free up some time for her to do things in the house

When my second baby was born we used to put my older 3.5 year old into nursery if I was home alone as it's hard work - with 4 I'd find it really difficult and I've braved all the difficult ages already !

She needs to either use nirsery, family or get a cleaner if she can't cope its not your responsibility

lexi, I think it takes constant vigilance to not start the hunning. Rather like 'I must remember not to take heroine'. And they both begin with 'h'

I would text her back, "Couldn't cope with that".

It does sound like she’s married to a useless nasty bloke, that doesn’t mean you have to be exploited though. I couldn’t cope with 3 2 year olds and I don’t have a newborn.

If she’d set this up with a clear offer to reciprocate at x point it’d be totally different but she seems to feel you owe her for having the better dh...

@flumpybear I've suggested to her before a cleaner, or perhaps somebody to do her ironing as she seems to complain about it a lot. But her husband has told her that if she wants to pay she can have one. She's a SAHM so I'm not sure how he expects her to pay!

But you have asked her to have your ds before and she said she couldn't cope with the three kids. She's a twat.

Oh God OP what a joke. She's acting like she's entitled to your help. Not a chance I could cope with 3 2 year olds and a new born. It's still early days for you, I can't believe she asked at all and is being so rude when you've declined. Wow

Is her DH home today/tomorrow he can take the boys out to soft play whilst she cleans etc

She is the ultimate CF, no politeness or courtesy, very entitled attitude.

I'm just sat on the toilet silently fuming about it to be honest.

Just say no you cant manage all of them alone

It's better you have realised she's a CF now rather than babysitting for her a few times only to find she has no intention of reciprocating. Silver linings.

Would you make up with her if she apologised? You could still have playdates for your DS and she will know that you're not a doormat.

WOW....! So you don't feel comfortable with looking after three 2 year old and that makes you selfish?? I think it makes you human!

No way could I look after 3 toddlers and a new born!

It's clear that SHE's being selfish by trying to belittle your work load and only thinking about herself. That's the very definition of selfish to me!