To feel sad about spending the weekend completely alone?

[teakettlewhistle]

I don’t know if anyone else is in the same boat. I was reading a thread about people’s plans for Saturday and felt sad

Ah op this is tough; you’re right in that the odd day to self is a treat, but anything longer is lonely and drags.

Have you considered joining Townswomen or something similar? I know they’re actively looking for younger (sub-retired) women to join. I’m not a member but I know a few women who’ve joined and said it’s been incredible for activities, days out and making new friends.

It’s so easy to get down and stay indoors. Try and get out today or tomorrow – if you’re near a city, there’s almost definitely a free walking tour you could join. I’ve done those when travelling solo before and usually end up going for food or drinks with people from the group afterwards! Similarly, museums and galleries and attractions often put group tours on where you end up chatting to people.

Even a small interaction can make you feel so much better. Let us know how you get on, and stay cheerful!

*Bingo.

I've done both and can categorically say that being alone, with nobody to call, knowing that the everybody else is out having a wonderful time with family and friends, is worse. Kids are relentless, but I spent years totally alone and nothing really compares to all your time stretching out on front of you. When you go out for a walk or to a cafe you are surrounded by people meeting friends and family. Restaurants not keen to let you book a table for one at the weekend into the bargain.

Loneliness is shit.*

well personally I would be happy for a break and not spending every last second with my kids but each to their own!

But would you want them to disappear, permanently, creeper, never see them or hear from them again? How would you feel then?

If you were a bloke you could go down the pub. (you're not a bloke are you?). It still doesn't look right for a woman to prop up the bar on her own though. You could try it, and let us know how you get on!

Good grief, there's an astonishing lack of empathy from some posters on this thread.

To be honest people saying how much they’d love it is pretty insensitive at best.

But some people do love a day or a weekend alone. I'm a teacher and I'm "on" all week. A quiet weekend at home is like absolute gold. You may make different choices, but everyone is different.

you said weekends.. not permanently.

Yes of course they do midnite

I love visiting London but if I had to live there all the time, I’d be very poor and wouldn’t be able to take advantage of all the great things there.

Sorry creeper but the problem is there isn’t a comparison. I totally understand it must be difficult for you to never have a break from your children but it’s not comparable, just as if you said how hard you found it me saying ‘oh but what about me!’ wouldn’t get me much sympathy!

I spend most weekends alone but I enjoy it - I go for long bike rides and runs and then have early night with my book.

What would your ideal weekend be? We can try to work out some practical things to try....

I was responding to the pp who said I should be happy to be with my kids at the weekend as its better than being totally alone, erm well no it isnt! all my single mum friends get their weekends free and spend the time partying, going for drinks/dinner, sleeping, relaxing, whilst im stuck with my kids all weekend. They all look forward to the weekend because they “deserve a break”

This is an opinions site and imo I would love my weekends free.

Its hard being alone :( I sometimes want a break from my daughter to relax and do my own thing but would hate to be on my own all the time. X

"I knew as soon as I saw this thread there would be at least one poster telling you how they'd love a weekend alone"

Creeper8, would you also tell someone newly, mobility disabled that you'd be glad of a chance of a sit down? Try developing a bit of empathy.

I'm looking at a weekend alone. As it's pissing down, I'm going to bingewatch a series, play computer games and not much else, probably. Might do something constructive around the house, might not. I may plan or book a weekend away for my birthday. (Half my weekends are on my own due to divorce).

I do have a boyfriend thing, but he's away a lot and not around this weekend. I'll probably message him a fair bit tho.

I do wonder what I'll do when the dc leave home - I don't envisage ever living with a man again tbh.

Well, my ideal weekend would be spent with a family of my own tbh.

I do understand it looks like a simple solution - you’re alone - it makes you sad - be with people, you’ll be OK, but it isn’t quite as simple as that, it’s like trying to cure the flu with chemotherapy.

well personally I would be happy for a break and not spending every last second with my kids but each to their own!

but what if you haven't got kids?
what if you go to work in the morning and then come hme to an empty house everyday and then from friday evening to monday morning you don't speak to another soul in any meaningful way?

would you be happy with that?
People coming on saying that love a weekend alone to get over their super busy week is not kind really. it's like saying 'i have so much company i get sick of it!'

Just....think..be kind..please

I used to be in a similar situation and then I found Meetup.com. I joined some groups and went out and started meeting people based on things I enjoyed doing. It took time but I made some really good friends and started to have a social life outside of meetups. Might be worth a try for you?

There’s a difference between being alone and being lonely. Some people love being by themselves.

But if it’s every weekend, and it seems like everyone else is having a great time, then it’s really hard.

It’s about having a choice.

I understand. I had a couple of years like that in my 20s between relationships. My life was all about my career back then and I remembed the gaping hole on a Friday night knowing I might not see anyone until Monday morning. Friends were in relationships and getting married being couples and planning nice holidays. Yes I went to the shops and renovated a house but an M&S meal and the Brookside omnibus was pretty lonely. Eventually I joined a political party and that brought many like minded friends.

Am 58 now and have also often felt that living in a pristine flat, alone, with no obligations to everyone else would be bliss but I know it wouldn't be really.

I think it's sad that age brings about the confidence that would have served us better in our 20s. I am sure you have everything ahead of you and will realise all your hopes but it doesn't seem so when you are in the thick of it.

Hello tea. You sound like me a few years ago when I lived and worked abroad. My social network in the UK (all family and friends), were only contactable via text/facetime and the language barrier plus insane work hours meant I had little opportunity to make new friends, despite a lot of effort. The loneliness and isolation just becomes overwhelming after a while and was the primary reason I came back home as my mental health was beginning to suffer because of it.

Are you in the UK? I have moved around a lot with work and one of my best tips for meeting a wide variety of new people is to go to a 'no strings' badminton session. It's great because it doesn't matter if you're any good or not

Road cycling clubs are great, super sociable and they happen at the weekend

Resettle, I have been where you are. it's really really hard and you are allowed to hate it. No suggestions but I hope things change for you soon.

No one can change it for you I'm afraid. It's up to you to make the effort or to learn to accept your situation. There's no magic solution.