To feel sad about spending the weekend completely alone?

[teakettlewhistle]

I don’t know if anyone else is in the same boat. I was reading a thread about people’s plans for Saturday and felt sad

I totally get you OP. I'm divorced and live alone. I don't like weekends much either. Plus have had a trying year. I do try to go out but you still come home to an empty flat. Plus I can't afford to do much. Yes, I know walking is free of charge, but I don't have the energy. Trying to drag myself out of depression. I am improving but it's a slog. I'm sitting in my nightie still, nothing to do except a bit of ironing.
Hard isn't it?

I’m not in Nottingham sorry that would be nice otherwise.

The problem with volunteering is that it blocks me from seeing people or doing things on the odd occasion that does happen if you see what I mean. The honest truth is it just doesn’t appeal.

It will not change for the worse. You come across as witty and friendly OP. It will be ok. Try to make a plan for next weekend even if it is to the museum alone, just been around kind people saying hello generally chat will give you a boost. You never know who you will meet

I know frustrated and if you do go for a walk you see families which can be difficult.

Yes I know what you mean Tea. I have a friend who I meet most Sunday mornings for coffee but then I walk back to my car not wanting to go home, desperately trying to think of somewhere to go!

OP - is there nothing like this near to you? I would definitely do something like this if I could - it's not the course fees, it's the cost of travelling in tho' I don't live that far out.

They have Saturday morning discussions groups on a fascinating range of topics as well as courses.

www.schooleconomicscience.org/course/introductory-practical-philosophy/

In a more physical vein, do you not like yoga/walking/hiking or something similar? Lots of groups have regular weekend events or weekends away.

@teakettlewhistle I knew as soon as I saw this thread there would be at least one poster telling you how they'd love a weekend alone (the subtext being that they are otherwise so popular and busy and be-friended to the max).

I agree, it's unkind and very insensitive.

I too am alone and most likely won't speak to a soul (even used self service at tesco earlier!) till Monday night and that will be just brief pleasantries when I go to the gym. I have the problem that I tend to have very full weeks (of mostly solitary work!) so come Saturday, the last thing I want to do is have yet more "work" to achieve. But at the same time, i end up just waiting for it to be over...

I hope it's not as bad as you fear and you find something pleasant to pass the time

I completely understand and sympathise with you. I've been there during most of my 20's. However things do change, I can absolutely assure you of that. What about starting an exercise class - even if it's during the week (evenings)? Pilates or zumba? It's something anyone can do, any shape, any age - and you can connect with some lovely people. You totally don't have to be a typical exercise-type person to enjoy it. That way you have a whole coterie of new people that you could maybe meet for coffee etc, hopefully at the weekend. Also the library/library cafe at the weekends are lovely - I think you never feel alone in a library, join and you can also treat yourself to some books to lose yourself in. Hope things change for you, my lovely.

I am a volunteer for a Charity called Contact the Elderly. I'm the co ordinator of our local group. It's very rewarding. But it's only once a month on a Sunday afternoon. But I've met some lovely people, old folk and volunteers.

If you have the money - why don't you go to the cinema by yourself? I know it sounds sad, but I do this whenever I have the chance. You get to have whatever snacks you want, see whatever film you want and have absolutely nobody disturbing you. Just a thought. Hope you're okay

You sound like me shots eerily so in fact!

daphne sadly I am nearly in my 40s!

Going to the cinema alone isn’t sad but it’s still alone.

Are you single tea?
I am, and spend most weekends alone, but I don't really mind too much.
I try and plan to see friends & family in advance, so that my diary has some things to look forward too in it.
My close friends all have small children and are completely off limits at the weekend, so I arrange to see them during the week so that when the weekend comes I am happier to spend it alone getting through my list of jobs or chilling watching films.

There are social group networks across the country. Sorry I don't know the names of them.

Planned various social activities for adults of all ages to go along to. Certainly a way to meet people and potentially make local friends who don't have family commitments every weekend.

Late 30's tea? Why aren't you internet dating? You could arrange things like meeting for coffee/walk etc at the weekends? Even if the date doesn't work out, you've been out and socialised.

Like Frustratedashell, I mentioned volunteering because I do it just once a month - it doesn’t have to be weekly so you can still fit stuff around it. I help at a monthly tea party for adults with Learning Disabilities. It’s a real fun couple of hours with lots of laughter as there is often a craft session or singing or dancing or bingo and it doesn’t matter if you are rubbish or unskilled or have no experience. I always leave there with a big smile on my face.

I used to be alone a lot at weekends. Friends were with their families; and I lived too far from work colleagues who were available to do much with them; if I'd ever managed to create an opportunity.

I hated it. An hour felt like a month; I'd never feel like I wanted to do anything, I'd drive myself mad. I used to count down until I'd be back at work for the people.

It sounds stupid and I'd have rolled my eyes at anyone who suggested it before; but I forced myself to start planning things - either to do at home or out - and started to hate it less. And now I have a group of people to do things with; so I'm not really alone anyway, and I can try and see the "novelty" when I am alone (although admittedly I still don't enjoy it that much).

I don't know if that helps you. I tried pretty much everything... painting by numbers, local festival event thingys, wondering the weekend market, meet up groups, gym classes, long walks, coffee shops... it's not easy

Oh and YANBU to feel it's hard being alone for 2 days when it's not through choice!

I recently read Eleanor Oliphiant is completely fine and it opened my eyes to how terrible loneliness can be and how small acts of kindness can impact people so much. It’s a beautiful book so if you haven’t read it indulge yourself this weekend and it may resonate with you 💐

What about joining the Ramblers then as they often have Saturday meets.
I catch up on cleaning the house then put the radio play on and either declutter or do a craft. I also go to a craft one Saturday a month. I go to church and a community choir on a Sunday.
Late Saturday afternoon I watch a film. DH has been away two or three Saturday's a month for thirty years. I make my own fun. Look out for Coffee mornings too as there are often older, lonely people that go and love to have a random chat with someone.
Maybe look for a group that won't pull you down. You sound a little depressed. Get your local paper and see what is on. I hope you feel better soon. I quite like my weekends to myself. When DH is here he tries to organise me and I must admit I sometimes resent it.

@teakettlewhistle, do you like dogs? If so are you in a position to get one? My mum lives alone, and her dogs are her lifeline. Not only are they good company by themselves, but she meets lots of dog owners whilst walking them, and has become part of a dog-walking community through that.

Obviously no help if you're not a dog person, sorry.

The problem with volunteering is that it blocks me from seeing people or doing things on the odd occasion that does happen if you see what I mean.

This mindset is a massive problem. You don’t have anything to do for the majority of weekends but are unwilling to do anything else just in case a better offer comes along. A better offer won’t come along if you just sit and wait for it. Go out and look for something positive to change your weekends and if something from your old life comes along, either do that as well or take a day off from volunteering. Volunteering isn’t all or nothing and if you think it is, you have probably volunteered in the wrong place before.

Our weekends are as full or empty as we plan them to be, some times we leave the house on a Friday evening and get back on Sunday night with bags of washing. Other times we are holed up at home and do nothing except drink hot chocolate or wine and eat biscuits. We are both active volunteers but still have these options.

You sound like me shots eerily so in fact!

Take comfort in the fact that you aren't alone in being alone, and that other people know exactly how you feel too.

(This may be the thread another poster mentioned, but in searching for it, there were loads of similar options. It's a very common situation: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3300744-The-Claw-a-thread-about-loneliness?pg=1)

Also, are you happy to say whereabouts you are in the UK - you can be specific to your town or city, or vague (North-East etc) - it might throw up some options, least of all other MNers in the same boat!

teakettle, I have been single for absolutley ever, my family and most of my friends live at a distance, I am the only single one. I'm now an adoptive mum and at that point where I live for scout camps so I get some peace and quiet.

No I'm not going to suggest you adopt, get a cat/dog/goldfish/hamster, or volunteer, join a church, parkrun etc etc

For me what worked was planning ahead, months at a time. I love theatre, gigs etc so I bought tickets for things I wanted to see, I took the iniative with friends, booked in things with them, weekend vists to those that don't live locally. A full calendar helps a lot. I very rarely had a weekend which was 'empty', even if I was doing stuff on my own. I put structure in to my weekends - gym, lunch out, shopping, garden, so I rarely woke up on Saturday thinking what am I going to do today.

I'm not saying its easy, I've had my share of lonely fed up weekends, untimately you have to come to terms with not having a partner, kids or whatever, or change it in some way - and only you can do that.

I was on my own for years before I met ex p. I was in London and used to visit people, so no,shortage of things to do. But Sunday mornings could be lonely.

Then we split up and he got shared custody of DS, so those weekends were particularly shit.
Now, the 2 things I have found which really help are to be organised, so that I have something planned to do to get me out of the house on an “alone” weekend.
The other things is to cook something and take it over to someone’s house who is busy / on their own. For example I have a friend with a 3 month old and her husband works every weekend, so I see her once a month. So only one weekend a month to “fill”

That’s not exactly what I meant maryann, I just feel like I don’t want to ‘work’ even though it may be fun. I’m probably not explaining that awfully well!

Internet dating doesn’t work for me.

Thanks anchor and others, it can be hard.