Shitty homemade Christmas Gifts

[justilou1]

I’m really loving the homemade Christmas gifts thread, and am watching it for inspiration. Can we start one for ideas for things to avoid - ie glitter-encrusted his&hers champagne flutes.

uh ok.

xox from your local kindly Atheist who doesn't celebrate but makes gifts for friends and colleagues.

IrmaFayLear I would have loved your presents! No accounting for taste eh?

I remember exdp’s mum would come home from school on the last day of term, weighed down with presents. She was the headteacher of a 500 pupil capacity primary school.

Half the homemade gifts would be binned (she knew the families well so knew who wouldn’t be the cleanest plus see last point), half the gifts would be a free for all if any of us wanted something, every ‘best teacher mug’ was sent to the charity shop (after 30 years of teaching- no it’s not a novelty!), there was a lot of ‘made by the child craft items’ seriously why would a teacher want to decorate their own home with 60 different items with a photo or name of a child they taught? they want their own family, and the chocolate was put away for when visitors came- she had a nut allergy.

Every year she put in the school newsletter that whilst the thought of presents were appreciated, she would prefer parents to make a donation to the schools chosen charity instead. Rarely happned. It was as if the parents tried to out do each other. The teachers actually left all the presents they didn’t want in the staff room, anyone who liked an item was free to take it, and those not claimed someone volunteered to take it to the charity shop. Several bags full would go every year. She felt as headteacher she couldn’t be seen to do it, no idea why, every other teacher was doing it!

Bashun you ok hun?

I’m not addressing “all atheists are loser sociopaths” as that is just insanely offensive and has no place in this discussion.

But nothing at Christmas is free. someone who receives a jar of bulk produced marmalade which is already mouldy may well have made a thoughtful individual gift for that person (spending money on materials), bought something they know they will love, cooked a beautiful lunch etc. So it is not unreasonable not to be falling over yourself with gratitude.

But refusing gifts is very, very rude as you well know.

@Bashun - r u broken?

Wow. I'm a fairly relentless godbotherer myself, but "all atheists are sociopaths" is a bit of a reach, don't you think? Did someone perhaps say something rude about your handcrafted sparkly jar of tat?

Oh, just remembered... the other thing that goes down really well is crackberries (sorry, family nickname) Candied cranberries. They are seriously moreish and look all sparkly and festive. I made little bags of them last year tied with something festive and took them to work and left them with a sign in the breakroom and they were gone within half an hour.

OMG, I'm not sure I should ever be allowed near those.

(Copies recipe).

@Don'tDribbleOnTheCarpet no they were MY "homemade sparkly jars of tat" and I'm over it

Buttfaced - thanks for the crackberry recipe, will give it a go.

I do a lot of knitting, crocheting and quilt-making and have occasionally given handmade stuff to people who I think would appreciate them - like knitted cardigans for newborns and pram blankets and so on. I think the problem with woolly presents is that people tend to use shit wool, horrible scratchy pale-yellow fake double knit that they bought in Poundland. My friend makes the most incredible cashmere jumpers for her kids and the wool alone is over £50 - I think the trick is giving handmade things you’re good at, without scrimping on the cost of materials.

Handmade stuff to save money rarely results in a decent present (id say that’s the same with baking too although I’m a shit baker. I’d imagine making brownies with crap cheap chocolate powder wouldn’t be as nice as ones with massive chunks of decent chocolate)

Ok then... down the drain with damson gin, blackberry and apple gin any my clementine and cinnamon gin then...

I think all the varieties of gin are the one thing we’ve all agreed that we want. Well I do anyway!

Last year MIL gave us a framed picture of her and FIL. No, we're not close. It was "professionally" shot and they looked really uncomfortable in it.

I have given her framed photos of the kids but I think that's somewhat normal. She's always put them up. Would never give her one of DH and I though.

So I'm hoping not to get another of them!

My family like homemade gifts but inlaws don't. MIL knits gorgeous jumpers for DS and makes fabulous jam but these are shoved in plastic bags somewhat awkwardly. It's really bizarre as I get loads of compliments on DSs gorgeous jumpers and always pass them on.

I regularly make food gifts but I'm a professional which seems to get me a pass.

I work in a primary school and iv received loads of these gifts from children. I actually like my hand embroided personalised book mark thank you very much.

I would love, knit or crotched blankets, first edition books, home made brownies and lovely or unlovely dried oranges ( I only decorate small tree with cinnamon sticks and dried oranges)

I always suggest my adult children but nothing for me or give something they make. My dd has given me birdseed balls, homemade essential oil cleaning products, and yummy baked goods.

Sorry that should have read, I suggest my adult children buy nothing for me...

A relative always makes me a hamper of her homemade jam. She makes it in her garage which is full of dog hair and there are rats in the garden. Meh!

She makes the hamper or the jam in the garage?

She makes the jam in the kitchen, decants it in the garage and stores it in the garage. She then fills the hampers in the garage and keeps them there until Christmas.

I hate to break it to you, but there are rats in your garden too!

Shockers - surely you meant to say Wensleydale?

Waves across the Pennines to newrubylane.

No .

@BertrandRussell No there aren't.

So you either have no garden, or terriers. Otherwise you have rats.

We have rats in the garden. Now there's a gift idea - learn taxidermy, shoot a few of the little bastards and give everyone a really original homemade gift...