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Original poster

Shitty homemade Christmas Gifts

441 replies

justilou1 · 22/09/2018 00:37

I’m really loving the homemade Christmas gifts thread, and am watching it for inspiration. Can we start one for ideas for things to avoid - ie glitter-encrusted his&hers champagne flutes.

OP posts:
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12
LineTroubles · 22/09/2018 20:20

But my dh won't agree to this with his family, I end up with the stress of buying all their presents which I don't get thanks for.

If your dh won't sort it out, it's his job to shop for them surely? What did he do before you got together?

TheLastNigel · 22/09/2018 20:40

I'd actually love a small Christmas cake out of a (clean) bean tin.
Ditto gingerbread, biscuits, sloe gin, jam etc...
What I would love is a knitted nativity if anyone wants to oblige Grin?

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 22/09/2018 20:52

I really need to make sloe gin now! I'll need to plant a tree though, since I live in a place with no trees, so no hope of finding wild ones.

RagamuffinCat · 22/09/2018 21:02

I actually love receiving a lot of the gifts that have been listed here. Maybe I just have very talented friends?

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 22/09/2018 21:22

I hate anything 'personalised' - normally just tat with a name scribbled on

Cronesquerness · 22/09/2018 21:28

Oh crap! Is knitted stuff ok, [hand] knitted socks in particular? Shit shit shit...

Flopjustwantscoffee · 22/09/2018 21:47

The thing about badly made gifts.... for years the stereotype was the awful handknitted Christmas jumper (which tacky though it may be must have taken ages) now that these don't seem to be done so much any more, it's become a massive thing to have fake handknitted tacky Christmas jumpers that was actually bought from Primark and lovingly crafted by a 10 year old in Bangladesh. So, you know, be careful what you wish for.

LadyLauraOver · 22/09/2018 23:20

Am glad we didn't get sucked into the teacher present buying frenzy during primary school as most of it gets binned anyway. The only thing we gave (randomly) were two handmade dolls to the two male teachers in year 6. They were made to look like each teacher and tbf they did. Did them as a joke but I heard that one doll ended up permanently on teacher's desk and the other (it is a Christmas fairy with a beard) takes star place on the Christmas tree each year!

AjasLipstick · 22/09/2018 23:35

Cronesq hand-knitted gifts are always appreciated if you ask me. You know your friends and family.

I think people are talking about things which anyone could make and which need no skill to make like a jar with cake ingredients in it. Or hot chocolate decanted into a plastic bag and put in a mug.

Hanyu · 23/09/2018 00:18

The only issue I have with knitted stuff is that it often doesn’t wash well and I really don’t have the energy for dry cleaning and hand washing stuff. So, basically I’m scared to wear it because I’m scared to wash it.

Katedotness1963 · 23/09/2018 02:06

My 18 year old self was not at all happy to receive a lilac, knitted balaclava.

Other Christmas treats over recent years have included homemade biscuits you couldn’t bite through, brownies so undercooked you couldn’t pick them up, a cherry cake that was dotted with blue mold when we cut into it, and some over cooked bread made with courgettes.

I’ve also received homemade jewelry that was very badly made, and a cross stitch picture I had to pay (£75) to have framed up.

If you are going to go with homemade stuff at least make it something you’re good at.

borntobequiet · 23/09/2018 07:08

Surely baked bean cakes are done in the half size cans? I am now saving them specially.

Lilyhatesjaz · 23/09/2018 08:17

One year the whole extended family were given homemade Christmas puddings, cake and chutney by my aunt nothing wrong with this in theory but when we went to eat ours all but the chutney were mouldy.

GloomyMonday · 23/09/2018 12:55

clay warthog was my worst handmade gift, from an aunt taking a pottery class.

BertrandRussell · 23/09/2018 12:58

I still want someone to explain why they are disgusted by using baked bean tins. I use various tins to bake cakes to construct my Thomas birthday cake- good thing my customers don’t know.,....,,,,

Hanyu · 23/09/2018 13:07

I think it’s the juxtaposition of cake and baked beans, even though rationally the tins are clean it’s still a freaky combination.

BertrandRussell · 23/09/2018 13:19

So do you only ever use a tuppaware box once? What about plates? Do you have designated plated for different sorts of food?

PiperPublickOccurrences · 23/09/2018 13:36

bertrand - there are lots of extremely odd people out there. FIL flat refused to try a cake I'd made which had beetroot in it because he'd made up his mind that it would be disgusting. Which it wasn't. You just need to see all the "ewwwww germs" threads to see that people have very weird ideas about what is "clean" and what is not clean. Of course you're going to properly wash out a tin before using it.

Newsflash - ordinary cake tins aren't single use either! You bake a victoria sponge, wash it out, use it again for a carrot cake and there's no trace of sponge with the carrot. Same principle. Similar with jam jars which get used many times over in this house.

BertrandRussell · 23/09/2018 13:50

Sometimes.....wonders whether this will be too shocking for some......I make a savoury pie in one of my cake tins. And I have been known to bake a cake in the tray I usually use for roast potatoes.

RJnomore1 · 23/09/2018 13:57
AndromedaPerseus · 23/09/2018 13:58

Imo with homemade xmas gifts if the recipients asks for them again then that’s the sign they were good and you should keep making them if not don’t.

I regularly ask for my friend’s sloe gin which is actually made by her dh. It’s the best I’ve ever tasted even though he assures me he uses the cheapest gin on offer and forages for the sloes next to an A road Grin The other homemade gift I still ask for regularly are my colleague’s specculas(Dutch spice Xmas biscuits) made using her dh’s grandmothers secret spice mix.

CoughLaughFart · 23/09/2018 14:22

So do you only ever use a tuppaware box once? What about plates? Do you have designated plated for different sorts of food?

Oh good lord, give it UP. Why do you want everyone to feel the same way about things you do?

BertrandRussell · 23/09/2018 14:33

I don't. I just want to understand about the baked bean tins. Partly because it's fascinating. Partly because I need to know whether I should lie to my customers about the tins I use to make novelty cakes......

LeftRightCentre · 23/09/2018 14:45

Unless you're a professional or were specifically asked, they're all crummy. Just give each other cards.

These gifts are like weddings, where everyone swears 'all the guests told us it was the best wedding they've been to!' They were being polite.

Hanyu · 23/09/2018 14:55

I knew this guy who had a huge rant because his sister gave him a bum wipe to wipe his hands with. It's not a rational thing, as logically a bum wipe is just a wet wipe in different packaging, but it's the name bum wipe, like it's been near a baby's dirty bum. Like it's not hygenic somehow.

It's the same with baked bean tins. Even though they are clean, it just feels weird to some people, like somehow the baked beans will infiltrate the cake. Most people won't mind, but some people might find it off-putting. Urgh, baked bean cake. Does that make sense?

I also know a woman who uses a special fork to dish out cat food as she doesn't want to get cat germs on her other forks. I've tried to explain that there are no cat germs in cat food because it doesn't come into contact with cats. It's made in a factory. She still uses the special fork though. It just feels wrong not to.