Things you should never say in front of childless women

[Clothrabbit]

Just following on from another thread I started, what things have childless women on here had said to or in front of them, or read celebs spouting in public, that really hurt or upset them.

For me:

You don't know what real responsibility is until you have a child.
Having a child makes you less selfish.

Banana if you did do this then that is fine. I would respond in a calm manner why I agreed or disagreed. I would not be aggressive, rude and angry as some are getting over anyone that disagrees or doesn’t fit into their ‘criteria’.

all I have ever said is that since I had children I was more tired That is not all you have said, so please stop being disingenuous. It's becoming tiresome.

However banana’s sarcastic comments about parents was ok.me saying I will respond later because picking up kids is not?????

Clothrabbit show me otherwise

Please point out where I have been rude? I'd be most grateful.

Obviously only when you have time, given you've stated you're busy with your children. Quite happy to wait

That post just there is rude banana. Being sarcastic about being a parent. You’ve done it a few times in previous post s

Guys I would just ignore the trolls on this thread. You won't succeed in educating them. They are being deliberately goady. They don't deserve your attention.

Yet again. There is a difference between things said to someone who hasn't YET had children, but is planning to and, as far a they are aware, will be able to and saying something to someone who hasn't had children and will not ever have children because of age, circumstances, illness including infertility.

We are hurt and we are grieving for the life we wanted but didn't have. Is it too much to ask for a tiny bit of consideration? The same that parents ask for if they are tired, stressed, need to leave early, whatever?

No I won't User, because I won't give further oxygen to your annoying, disingenuous, insulting and goady posts by repeating them. I don't know what your motive is in coming onto this thread, but the fact that you persist in posting when more than one poster has asked you to stop, practically everyone who has responded to you has disagreed with you, and several of your posts have been removed is astoundingly arrogant and thick skinned.

Would you go onto a thread where people who had to use wheelchairs were saying they were upset about how they would never walk again etc.... And then say 'brb, just going for a walk' No. You wouldn't. What possible reason would you have for saying it other than to goad and gloat? Go on your walk and don't mention it, come back later and reply if you want to. You didn't need to tell us all you were doing that. You did it for a reaction and in the hope it would hurt us. You don't know the meaning of empathy clearly. You are a truly vile person and I won't be responding to you again in the hope you just leave like you've been asked to do plenty of times.

User stated she was busy with her children

I asked a question and said I would be happy to wait until she was able to respond

How terribly, terribly rude indeed!

I will continue to be rude by stating that I will be unable to reply for a while as I'm busy with my book proposal

Height of rudeness to talk of one's activities, clearly

I imagine user's parenting skills are somewhat lacking, given the cruelty and lack of empathy displayed on this thread.

Chaps, I'm writing an article for the Guardian about pregnancy loss, if anyone is interested in sharing their experiences please do PM me :)

Hope the resources to the books are useful / interesting - I would definitely recommend Jody Day's TED talk

I'm also a member of a couple of FB groups for women who are childless not by choice, full of terrific women, I can highly recommend these communities. Thankfully they're very supportive and there are no bridges or creatures!

This thread has become a bit of a bunfight, and it's clearly not going to do anyone any good at this stage, so we're going to take it down.

I am looking forward to reading some of your recommendations Bananafish. It's reassuring to know that I not alone on this journey, that sometimes feels like the loneliest one in the world, because it's so hard to talk about in real life.

.someone said they were busy watching a game yesterday

That would be me. Except I wasn't busy watching a game, I was busy volunteering at a rugby match for teenagers who are growing up in foster care. So technically I was busy with children too. Don't you think?

@bananafish81 the links and posts you've shared have been fantastic Banana. I may send you a PM later on. Id be interested to hear about the groups you mention...My paragraph button seems to have stopped working since I've been typing so furiously this past half hour 😂

Such a shame @AnyaMumsnet

That's a shame Mumsnet as there is some really good advice and insights on here, plus Banana's recommendations. Does it have to be removed because of a couple of insensitive posters?

Looks like User's going to get her way and shut down debate on this issue. Hardly a good outcome.

@AnyaMumsnet that would be a shame certainly. I know I for one will not be responding any further to certain posters so it would be a shame to miss out on the women who can clearly offer fantastic support on this thread.

She just couldn’t for bear us to have a space, could she?

Why not remove the poster/s causing the problem?

Please leave it open Anya. There is so much good support and reassurance on this thread. It would be a shame to see it disappear because of one particular poster.

No it’s not. I don’t think it should be deleted either.