To be nice to my neighbour’s face but secretly hate her?

[GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat]

She really irritates me and today has been the straw that broke the camel’s back!

This morning when we left for school I noticed a note on her door, couldn’t quite read it all but saw ‘blah blah blah number 8 [our house]’ so I sent dd over to read it.

It says ‘please leave all deliveries at number 8’. She hasn’t asked me! I work from home and I really hate being disturbed by the door all day but I have to answer it in case it’s actually for me. I felt sorry for our lovely postman, it’s not his fault so I took it in. But I ignored two more this afternoon that I happened to see go to her door first. I know this will get worse leading up to Christmas.

She’s now been home for a good two hours and still not come and collected her shite. I cannot take it round.

It annoys me more because a few weeks ago we asked her to move her crap from our shared alleyway and it’s still there.

I’m gutless and a bit PA though. I won’t say anything to her face because I’m a bit gutless. She’s a bit gobby and rough, I’d rather stay on the right side of her and just do the bear minimum in neighbourly contact.

This woman is not a friend, is being rude by asking for parcels to be delivered to you without checking first and sounds unneighbourly in leaving rubbish in a shared alley so you owe her nothing. No need for confrontation just from today assert a no neighbours parcel holding service. Check the name and address on each parcel and if not yours refuse it. The postman won't care and she may suspect but who cares. Stand up for yourself.

Just keep rejecting them, when the postman delivers an unexpected parcel ask for the name before you take it. If it's not for you tell him you are not accepting it. If she asks about it deny all knowledge.

Just keep them and then she won’t send anymore

Definitely stick a note to your door saying only parcels for your address will be accepted there. I ended up doing it as i was being disturbed sometimes several times a day by different deliveries for one neighbour who had never even said hello to me.

Have a chat and suggests she uses 'under the pile of mouldering shite in the shared driveway' as her safe space for deliveries.

If a parcel gets through to yours, and she doesn't collect it on the same day, then give it a good kick round the living room. Every day. Until she collects.

Seriously though, you don't even have to confront her, just refuse them at the door. If you don't want to face the postie or delivery driver, then get a Ring doorbell or an intercom of some kind. That way you can converse with them to check the name and address on the parcel before deciding whether to open the door.

@Hutchismo, it's comments like yours that makes me wish that there was a 'Like' button on posts

I've had this exact same thing happen to me. What an absolute nerve. I was particularly annoyed when I ended up taking in a ton of flatpack furniture without being asked if was OK. We no longer speak and the sign has gone from the front door. Cheeky fuckers.

Hutchismo 🤣

When you answer the door ask who the parcel is for and if it isn't your name say that person doesn't live here, never heard of that person and close the door.

I had exactly the same thing today , she orders loads of stuff but she’s never bloody in ! She doesn’t ask stuff to be delivered here but she must know it’ll come to me and I’m home a lot of the time .
What mostly pisses me off is that she doesn’t come to get her parcels ,she waits until we get fed up and take it to her .
Not today you cheeky cow! She’s been in and out all afternoon and she can’t have missed the parcel note so she can just bloody come and get it !

This thread is baffling me! OP you say you suffer from anxiety. How does it make you less anxious to have this situation go on for years, with you constantly fretting about it, rather than just refuse to take the parcels on one occasion and have her shout at you (I’m presuming you’re not expecting her to be physically violent).

Please explain what you expected to gain from posting on here if you’re not prepared to confront the situation.

I would be very tempted to write on it, in big, black capitals, “Do not put my address on your deliveries!” and then dump,it on her doorstep. Even better if it is raining.

So tomorrow when the postman comes give him back the parcel.
Or just leave it outside her house now and check your parcels more thoroughly in future.

2. She never ever collects. I always end up having to go round

No you don't. Put a sign on your door saying you will only take deliveries for your address. Personally I wouldn't want to put my name on the note as I wouldn't want a sign up saying who lives at the address. If things arrive with your address on and you take them in, keep them. It's got your address on. If it isn't stuff you want, after 24 hours store it in your back garden. On the next bin day, stick it in the bin. And then don't think about it. If she cannot be bothered to pick the stuff up THIS IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM.

I agree with PP - she will not change her behaviour because you're giving her no cause to. She thinks this is all fine with you, or just doesn't care one way or the other.

Honestly, bin the stuff. I know you have anxiety. You may be surprised by how liberating this is.

Take in her parcels and leave them with her ‘shit’ in the shared alleyway along with her door note!

Alternatively just tell the delivery driver that you’re not taking parcels in.

And it’s easy for others to tell the OP to just confront the ndn. OP has to live there. Her ndn doesn’t sound very pleasant!

I won’t take in parcels for one neighbour. I just ask the postie “what’s the name on the box”.

Like the idea of the Ring gadget.

Seriously just invoice her. Parcels will only be released on payment in cash. Unless it is settled within 72 hours, the contents will be sold to recover the value of the invoice. Job done

If she is such a CF she will probably just hand on the job of parcel receiving to another neighbour. So whilst the problem stresses you out I'm sure it won't her!

And it’s easy for others to tell the OP to just confront the ndn. OP has to live there. Her ndn doesn’t sound very pleasant!

Confrontation doesn't have to be aggressive or rude.
I think people are getting a bit frustrated with the OP, in that we're all saying that the NDN is being a CF, but OP doesn't want to do anything about it.

The OP's AIBU was whether it's OK to be two-faced to her NDN and yeah I suppose it is - she wasn't actually looking for solutions.

It’s not confrontational to put a note up on your own front door saying you will only take deliveries addressed to the householder. And you are not obliged to accept delivery of anything else - so don’t.

You don’t have to speak to her at all about it, because if you never take
in another of her parcels you won’t have to have that conversation.

A decade??????

Good grief OP, even I think you need to grow a pair!!

If you dont want to confront the gobby bitch, then def put a note up on your door. This totallly takes the piss and she needs to fuck the fuck off. What are you, a depot?

TheOrig, it doesn’t have to be aggressive or rude but that’s what the OP will possibly face, from then on if she decides to approach her NDN about it.

The OP does need to tell the delivery driver that she’s not accepting parcels, she doesn’t need to tell the NDN! Who in their right mind would enter their NDN details as the delivery address! None of mine would and probably none of yours. You won’t be stuck living next door to the CF if she’s confronted, the OP will.

Granted yes, OP does need to do something but not confronting the NDN!

As she has stated she suffers from anxiety!