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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be nice to my neighbour’s face but secretly hate her?

150 replies

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 20/09/2018 16:12

She really irritates me and today has been the straw that broke the camel’s back!

This morning when we left for school I noticed a note on her door, couldn’t quite read it all but saw ‘blah blah blah number 8 [our house]’ so I sent dd over to read it.

It says ‘please leave all deliveries at number 8’. She hasn’t asked me! I work from home and I really hate being disturbed by the door all day but I have to answer it in case it’s actually for me. I felt sorry for our lovely postman, it’s not his fault so I took it in. But I ignored two more this afternoon that I happened to see go to her door first. I know this will get worse leading up to Christmas.

She’s now been home for a good two hours and still not come and collected her shite. I cannot take it round.

It annoys me more because a few weeks ago we asked her to move her crap from our shared alleyway and it’s still there.

I’m gutless and a bit PA though. I won’t say anything to her face because I’m a bit gutless. She’s a bit gobby and rough, I’d rather stay on the right side of her and just do the bear minimum in neighbourly contact.

OP posts:
SchadenfreudePersonified · 20/09/2018 16:45

Put a note up on your door "Not accepting deliveries for number xx".

This is what I was going to suggest, too.

My neighbour takes in parcels for me - but I asked her first if it would be okay.

I usually take in parcels for other neighbours (only one of whom has asked), but none of them, as far as I am aware, has had the wheel to put my house down as a specific delivery address. Usually I see a lorne postman/delivery guy wandering the street knocking on doors until he gets to me, and I accept it out of pity.

It does drive me crackers, though, when I know people have come back home but they don't collect their parcels for hours (days, sometimes).

SpottingTheZebras · 20/09/2018 16:46

If you don’t want to leave a note, just refuse and tell the delivery drivers that you are not accepting her parcels. It usually is the same drivers and it won’t take long before they remember and leave you in peace.

Poppyinagreenfield · 20/09/2018 16:47

I am the same as the op pleasant, trusting, gullible......

They can see us from miles away.

zzzzz · 20/09/2018 16:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MasonJar · 20/09/2018 16:54

Neighbour won't care if you secretly hate her as long as you keep accepting her parcels.
Just explain politely why you can't be disturbed. There doesn't have to be a confrontation and you don't have to fall out with each other.

EK36 · 20/09/2018 16:58

Just answer the door and when it's a parcel for your neighbour, just say "sorry I can't take it." I always do this with a certain neighbour. They won't know.

actualpuffins · 20/09/2018 17:02

Leave all the parcels outside her door. Hope it's raining.

buzz91 · 20/09/2018 17:11

I’m on maternity leave at the moment and my neighbours, who work all day, were ordering things every few days from amazon for a while. It was really annoying when my doorbell would ring several times a day, usually while I was doing something like changing the baby or she was napping.

I got a parcel for them that they didn’t try to collect, or if they did I was out, and I didn’t try to deliver it. Had it 4 weeks before I managed to pass it on to the other neighbour who had access to their shared door. Haven’t had anything to me since 😁

caoraich · 20/09/2018 17:13

Argh this is so annoying

Agree just refuse the parcels. If she asks, say you're working from home so have turned off your doorbell. I used to do this when I worked from home as we got a lot of window cleaners/tree surgeons/religious nutters at the door during the day.

I shop online a lot and get stuff delivered to an Amazon locker near my work or one of the DPD delivery shops. I can easily pop by on the way home or at a time that suits me and I don't have to keep pinging back and forward to the neighbour waiting for them to be in. I don't understand why more people don't do this!!

RangeRider · 20/09/2018 17:13

Take the note off her door!

TheNoodlesIncident · 20/09/2018 17:17

Either do as DukeofSussex suggests or remove the note and post it back through her letterbox.

a few weeks ago we asked her to move her crap from our shared alleyway and it’s still there. I'm with you on the Angry on this one, had exactly the same problem myself. All shite that could have been taken to the tip, but no, let's leave it in the passage where Noodles tries to get through with her wheelie bin every bin day. I bounced that bin off their wall as often as I could in a terribly PA way but they didn't care. Buffoons! Angry

Jux · 20/09/2018 17:25

Leave a note on your own door stating, as suggested above, that you are not accepting deliveries for her number.

I have seen parcels just left outside the house that was redirected to (in this case, that would your house). If that happens, don't despair, especially if she doesn't come to get them quickly, just put a note through her door telling her that unless she gets them by 10pm you will put a sign saying "Not wanted, please help yourselves".

That may not be legal, btw, but I can dream.

ratspeaker · 20/09/2018 17:26

I'd have taken the note off her door or added " don't" so it would read dont leave parcels at no 8.

8misskitty8 · 20/09/2018 17:42

My neighbours either side and myself will take in parcels for each other if we are out. No issues for past few years.
But last week amazon delivered for one of them and he came to my door. He knew my full name and asked me to sign.
I asked how he knew my name and he showed me the delivery details. They have put a note on amazon to deliver parcels to me ! A bit cheeky really.

Tara336 · 20/09/2018 17:56

Refuse to take the parcels. I took a few in for my neighbour and he never scored es to collect I end up having to take them to him and he never says thank you, so rude on two counts 😂. Now if someone tries to get me to sign for them I just say sorry I can’t I’m going away and it would mean him not getting it for a couple weeks, it works every time (a tactic I’ve had to develop as some delivery people can be a bit pushy)

Belina · 20/09/2018 18:16

Yanbu she defo should of asked you but I would love to have an annoying parcel neighbour over the psycho bitter ones I do have

Leonard1 · 20/09/2018 18:35

Just don’t open door unless you are expecting a parcel. If neighbours ask you just say you do a lot of tel conference calls from home so you can’t stop and answer the Bell.

Original poster
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 20/09/2018 18:39

Annoyingly I don’t have that kind of home job! I need to answer the door in case it’s actually for me Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 22/09/2018 13:06

She still hasn’t come around for this bloody parcel, isn’t that odd?

OP posts:
KatKit16 · 22/09/2018 14:27

Don't answer the door! Just because someone knocks doesn't mean you have to answer.

Original poster
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 08/11/2018 13:10

Twats!

They’ve starting using our address for deliveries when they know they won’t be in now. I took one in today thinking it was ours as we are expecting one and it has her name one. I’m so cross!!

OP posts:
PeachyBerries · 08/11/2018 13:14

Are they putting your address on the boxes?! Shock

Original poster
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 08/11/2018 13:15

Yup!!

OP posts:
FayKnights · 08/11/2018 13:15

I’d open it! It’s your address on there. Make sure you take it over opened and let her know that in future you’ll just keep anything with your address on!!!
How bloody rude.

BarbarianMum · 08/11/2018 13:16

" I'm gutless and a bit PA".

Yep. Nice.