To be nice to my neighbour’s face but secretly hate her?

[GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat]

She really irritates me and today has been the straw that broke the camel’s back!

This morning when we left for school I noticed a note on her door, couldn’t quite read it all but saw ‘blah blah blah number 8 [our house]’ so I sent dd over to read it.

It says ‘please leave all deliveries at number 8’. She hasn’t asked me! I work from home and I really hate being disturbed by the door all day but I have to answer it in case it’s actually for me. I felt sorry for our lovely postman, it’s not his fault so I took it in. But I ignored two more this afternoon that I happened to see go to her door first. I know this will get worse leading up to Christmas.

She’s now been home for a good two hours and still not come and collected her shite. I cannot take it round.

It annoys me more because a few weeks ago we asked her to move her crap from our shared alleyway and it’s still there.

I’m gutless and a bit PA though. I won’t say anything to her face because I’m a bit gutless. She’s a bit gobby and rough, I’d rather stay on the right side of her and just do the bear minimum in neighbourly contact.

Yes I’ve been continuing to ignore parcels being attempted to be delivered here but this one got passed me as it has my bloody address on it!

It is hard- she’s a gobby bitch and will have a go. She’s horrible. I suffer with anxiety and can’t do that.

Put a note on your door that says ‘only accepting deliveries for this address’.

This. After you've been round to explain why. Working from home is a perfectly valid reason to refuse unnecessary disturbance. Take control!

You being 'gutless' is enabling this - BE ASSERTIVE!

TELL them not to use your address in future.
Stick a sign on your door saying you don't accept parcels for neighbours/redirected.
Take a few seconds to check the/address/label on the parcel before signing for it.
Refuse to accept anyone else's parcels.

None of the above are difficult to do.
It's your choice whether you choose to deal with this or not.

I don't get why this is so complicated, have spent a lot of time working from home for years. I don't take parcels for most neighbours, as got fed up after days when 6 or 7 parcels for people I'd never met - some of whom came round for them late night - kept piling up. I now have a no parcels policy I just say no to delivery people and if I'm not expecting anything I ignore the door. Works fine very few now knock on my door. I''ve never discussed my policy with neighbours, it's nobody's business but mine. After all they haven't asked me to take their parcels. Just be firm!

She is a cheeky fecker, just refuse all parcel deliveries, she should ensure that she is in.

dottier this is my preferred option. Do you feel bad for the postman?

I’d take the note down and chuck it away.

It's part of the postman's job.

Don't discuss it with your neighbour, if it's a direct 'confrontation' it's more likely to be taken personally...just have your own policy and stick to it. If she brings it up, say you work with headphones on...as far as I can tell delivery people do not pass on details of whether or not people have refused to accept parcels. They have enough to do...

Definitely a note on the door saying you will only except post for your own address. That way you avoid any conflict. If she asks, be totally honest.

But this parcel WAS for her address! Just not actually for her!

Can't stand my next door neighbours, occasionally get a parcel delivered here for them, when that happens I put it by their door [dead end in a rural area, no one's going to nick it] so I don't have to see their stupid faces. I'd be very pissed off if they had a note on the door redirecting deliveries to me, in that situation I'd refuse them. Bloody cheek!!

Our postman has done the route for ages, he never asks me to take anything...and we have never asked anyone to take stuff for us, we have stuff delivered when we're around to get it. We also have one of those agreements with the post office that undelivered stuff for us goes back to the depot for collection. They gave us an official door sticker that says that this is what is to happen. As for feeling sorry I get that, but isn't that what women spend their lives doing? We feel so bad for others we don't tend to our own needs. I can't concentrate if I'm forever running to the door, and often work in ratty PJs if not expecting anyone/thing myself. Don't see why I should get ready for public appearances and be prepared to put my work on hold because someone else can't be arsed to sort out their delivery arrangements. Most companies have collection points now and for people who go to work will deliver to business addresses. The neighbours I know well have my number and vice versa so would text if an emergency meant needed help so I don't worry...

If she's giving your address as the delivery address then you can tell the company who has sent the parcel to your address, that this person does not live here and to please not send anything else.

My parent’s neighbour has annoyed lots of people in their road so much that about 5 people will now not take parcels in for them. We’d refused and then watched as the poor driver tried the next few houses who all said no. My parents had just thought it was them before. No, sometimes they’re just a horrible person.

You’ve left this situation for so long I think you should just accept her deliveries with good grace, leave them in a place not in your way and the neighbour will collect when they’re able.

In the meantime you can send items to her when you need to.

Either that or tell her you want it to stop which will seem odd given that you’ve allowed it to continue for so long. A week or two and you’ve room to wriggle out of it. A few months and it seems random, rude, unneighbourly and will mean almost certainly falling out.

There is also the thorny issue of liability and having parcels in your house that could contain who-knows-what. Someone I know took in a wine delivery for a neighbour, the bottles were leaking and caused a mess in her flat and then the neighbour blamed her and wanted compensation...it's not worth the hassle.

"You’ve left this situation for so long I think you should just accept her deliveries with good grace, leave them in a place not in your way and the neighbour will collect when they’re able. "

What the actual heck? This is terrible advice! The OP is not a personal delivery depot for people to wander over to in their own sweet time!

1. I don’t have anyway to put them, they sit in our sitting room getting touched by the children.

1. She never ever collects. I always end up having to go round.

1. She never takes in my parcels because she’s never bloody in

1. It hasn’t just been going on months. It’s been more than a decade!!

Considering this one has your address on, I would open it and act surprised when she turned up "oh I wondered what that was, with it having our address on I wouldn't have imagined it would have been for you" hand over obviously opened parcel

Probably prevent her pulling that trick again

My neighbour, elderly, lovely, will always ask if he can put a note on his door sending a parcel my way. And then when I bring it round he is SO grateful, SO apologetic. Sometimes even offers wine

Your neighbour can fuck off, though.

If you refuse (future) parcels that are addressed to her name but your address, you can refuse them, then they go back to the depot, then NO ONE can collect them as no one will have corresponding ID, IYSWIM.

So do that. Tell her you didn’t hear the door if you want.

Print out an ad for a parcel box and put it through her door when she's out. See if she gets the message.

www.amazon.co.uk/LARGE-LETTERBOX-PARCEL-BOX-LOCKABLE/dp/B00RZAPKC6?tag=mumsnetforum-21

Honestly OP this is getting ridiculous. Next time check the parcel is for you before accepting and just refuse anything that isn't yours. She won't know you weren't in will she?

I have this issue with my neighbour. She gets all sorts delivered (knows I work from home) and then takes her sweet time picking them up. I once had a jumbo box of nappies in my position for THREE WEEKS but I am too cross to take them over so I just stick everything in the garage.
In contrast I would feel way too guilty to have deliveries stuck at the neighbours so I have a 'safe place' mine get left in if I'm not in.