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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Being ‘out of the house’ with a 10 week old baby?

87 replies

Pinkshadow · 20/09/2018 11:30

My daughter is nearly 11 weeks old now and I find when we go out we are still getting praise for being out and about.

When is the normal time to go out with a little one?

I have been out for coffee/ walks/ days outs since she was about 5 days old. But I understand everyone is going to be different depending on the birth etc.

Even with a baby that has bad colic I think it would have been bad for my mental health to stay in the house.

Was just interested in everyone else’s experiences?

OP posts:

PermanentlyFrizzyHairBall · 20/09/2018 11:32

I think most people have left the house by the time the baby is a few weeks old - people with older children rarely have the opportunity to hole up and not go out. I was very cautious with my first but by 11 weeks was regularly out and about every day. I think it's probably just something people say when they can't think of anything else.

MrsBlondie · 20/09/2018 11:33

I was out the house with a 5 day old baby - school run!
Baby 1 we were out and about when he was days old.

I never had comments like this though.
Its best to be out and about, good for the mind.

Bellaposy · 20/09/2018 11:33

I expect most people get out very quickly (we did a day after we got home). People are saying that to be supportive and encouraging more than anything I think.

Cath2907 · 20/09/2018 11:35

I walked the baby to Costa in her pram (about 30 min walk) when she was 3 days old. Then fed her under a muslin in Costa but was so flustered I put the thing over the wrong shoulder! My one boob was wonderfully covered throughout the feed - it just wasn't the one that had a baby hanging off it. I gave up on covering her up after that!!!!!

Enjoy your outings - people say odd things to women (and men) with new babies about their person!

mrbob · 20/09/2018 11:36

Um I had a friend who was doing the school run with a 12 hour old and another who went to her husbands work bbq on the way home from the hospital. I think there is a pretty wide range but 10 weeks would seem like a long time to be stuck at home- 5 days would sound fairly reasonable

dinosaurkisses · 20/09/2018 11:36

Yeah, some of the reactions are a bit weird.

I’m not one of those women who laboured or recovered from birth particularly easy- I read on here about someone going to the zoo the day after they had their second baby.

But surely most women will have been out by the end of the first week- even to pop to the corner shop or just to stop getting cabin fever?

I remember being in Sainsbury’s and the cashier being very praising of me doing the shopping when dd was 3 weeks old. We still needed to eat!

my2bundles · 20/09/2018 11:37

I find this strange and never experienced that. By the time my youngest was a few days old Inwas back to doing the schools run" s shopping etc basically everything involved in my elder child's care. Life dosent stop

jusdepamplemousse · 20/09/2018 11:37

People aren’t actually surprised, they are just giving you a pat on the back, as anyone who has kids knows that you are probably sleep deprived and working hard!

Just folk being friendly and supportive.

kaytee87 · 20/09/2018 11:39

People are just being nice and encouraging. Of course it's normal to go out and about with a newborn, they're not actually surprised they're just trying to give you a boost

Creatureofthenight · 20/09/2018 11:41

I had a very slow recovery from a c section and barely left the house for about a month. But even if you’re feeling ok physically it can be tough getting out of the house with a baby, by the time you’ve dressed them, then they decide they need a feed just before you leave, then they have a poo, then they are sick on you, etc., so maybe people mean congratulations in that sense?!

elliejjtiny · 20/09/2018 11:42

I think it's just people being supportive. I remember with my first, going out seemed like a massive thing. I did it from early on but it felt like a big achievement. With subsequent babies it wasn't.

Original poster

Pinkshadow · 20/09/2018 11:43

Cath I remember my first public breastfeed. I felt so awkward but glad I got it out of the way. Now I just don’t care and wear two tops

Maybe it is just people being nice then! It does feel good I suppose, like I’m doing okay. It is definitely a compliment.

OP posts:

Tinty · 20/09/2018 11:43

My best friend had her baby at 4 pm, two weeks early. Went home at 6 pm. Was down for a walk on the sea front at 10 am with new baby and DS2. Then she had a birthday party for her DS8 and 2 of his friends at her home!

She also had DS6 as well. This was her forth DC and she took it all in her stride.

Original poster

Pinkshadow · 20/09/2018 11:46

I think it is probably different with your second as you don’t have the luxury of a few days at home. You just have to get on with things! I don’t know how anyone copes with two (or more). She is definitely going to be an only child!

OP posts:

CherryPavlova · 20/09/2018 11:46

I went and did a Tesco shop with my youngest aged three hours. It’s not a competition though and you should do what suits you. After the second you rarely have the luxury of not being out and about.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 20/09/2018 11:48

I had a friend who didn’t leave her house for 6 months! She just built it up I to this huge thing. Parenting is only as hard as you make it.
I have another friend who can’t go out with both of her children at the same time. They have never been out for dinner or for lunch anywhere.

Yabbers · 20/09/2018 11:49

Their comments have nothing to do with being out of the house. They are standard, pick from a list of things to say to a new mum in order to make conversation. See also: she’s big, he’s little, is he sleeping through yet, is she hot/cold/hungry, is this your first, etc etc.

noeffingidea · 20/09/2018 11:51

As soon as possible for me. With my first I had to stay in hospital for 5 days so that was how long before the baby went out. With my 2nd and 3rd we were told to stay in until the 4th day, so I probably did. I still got showered and dressed every day though, I hate sitting about after I've had a baby. After that I went every single day, can't imagine staying in all day, it would do my head in.

user1495390685 · 20/09/2018 11:51

PND is more common that you think...

Cornettoninja · 20/09/2018 11:54

Hmmm I think people’s experiences vary massively - especially with the first and your daily routine (life!) has been turned on its head.

Dd screamed at me the whole time she was in her pram/sling for the first three months or thereabouts. It was a miserable winter and there was no where within walking distance bar the shop to go anyway (I don’t drive). No way was I brave enough to stand a bus or train journey with a guareented hysterical baby on my own. It certainly wasn’t a choice and was fucking miserable.

Given the tendency of people to say stuff like that I don’t think my experience was that unusual.

Good for you if that’s not your experience but there’s people who would recognise the sentiment and appreciate it.

Original poster

Pinkshadow · 20/09/2018 11:55

Notumbongo that’s really sad about your friend not feeling she can take both children out.

I’m lucky I had a great health visitor who encouraged me and a good support network of other NCT Mums. I can imagine if you don’t have any support it would be very difficult though and you’d be more inclined to stay in, which could definitely lead to PND.

OP posts:

mumsastudent · 20/09/2018 11:57

probably the only restriction is close mixing (ie touching breathing distance) with groups of young children - but even this would be difficult to avoid with school run (older dc)

Original poster

Pinkshadow · 20/09/2018 11:58

Cornetto I agree! I think it is easier if you have a summer baby. It also must be difficult if you don’t drive.

OP posts:

oliviatrivia · 20/09/2018 12:01

My second was out and about with us from 2 days old (was fortunate to have ‘easy’ births so not physically too bad afterwards).

The only comment I had was at the GP surgery waiting to see the midwife to be signed off when the baby was 9 days old and a lady chastised me for having him out in the cold

We were inside and you know, at a medical appointment, I wasn’t taking him down a bob sleigh run dressed in just a nappy.

cjt110 · 20/09/2018 12:07

One of our first outings I vividly recall was in Toys R Us/Ikea. DS was 10 days old and I remember the lady in front in the queue was astonished and remarked she hadn't been out of the house for numerous weeks after her first child was born. This seemed bizzare to me....

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