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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Being ‘out of the house’ with a 10 week old baby?

87 replies

Pinkshadow · 20/09/2018 11:30

My daughter is nearly 11 weeks old now and I find when we go out we are still getting praise for being out and about.

When is the normal time to go out with a little one?

I have been out for coffee/ walks/ days outs since she was about 5 days old. But I understand everyone is going to be different depending on the birth etc.

Even with a baby that has bad colic I think it would have been bad for my mental health to stay in the house.

Was just interested in everyone else’s experiences?

OP posts:

cadburyegg · 20/09/2018 12:07

People are just being friendly. But this sort of thing is hugely dependent on the Mum and baby.

With DS1 my episiotomy stitches broke down so I found even walking round the block difficult for about 3 months as I had an open wound down there which was pretty uncomfortable. My DS1 was also a colicky tongue tied baby and I found it difficult just to put him down to shower and get dressed.

With DS2 I felt back to normal physically within 2 weeks and he is/was a chilled happy baby so it was much easier to be active quicker. I was taking DS1 to the park on day 5, etc.

Cornettoninja · 20/09/2018 12:09

I do think it’s interesting how most posters are sharing experiences of their second babies.

One thing I’ve learnt (in real life - not forums where you can speak freely ) with having a baby is never to go down the route of ‘I don’t know how you don’t go out/manage without a full nights sleep/don’t cook from scratch/spring clean your house twice daily etc’. There are bumps in the road for all of us and it’s best to hide your incredulity at people who aren’t experiencing what you are. Especially relatively common stuff. We’re all managing the character we’ve been given and they throw up different obstacles.

Astrid2 · 20/09/2018 12:10

I never understood it being hard to get out of the house really. We go out most days and the days we don't go out, it's because I can't be arsed!! I always have my change bag packed and just changed and BF right before we leave. I was out on day 4, with serious baby blues and a grade 2 tear and had a wee wander round Mothercare.

Baby is 5.5 months now and loves the outdoors. Even when it's cold. I never understood about keeping baby inside in the warm either, as long as they're wrapped up warm!!!

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 20/09/2018 12:10

Good grief! My second child was born on a Sunday. On the Tuesday afternoon I did the school run (a mile each way) with the pram (which I leant quite heavily on!). The midwife was horrified the next day and was concerned about my stitches (I had a bi lateral episiotomy) but I felt fine and my first child loved showing off the baby at the gates. (And it was early summer so not cold)

With my first I didn't have the 'need' to go out so I think it was probably nearer a week before we were out with the pram.

Personally I think the earlier you can get "back to normal" the better.

Oliversmumsarmy · 20/09/2018 12:14

I was hosting a bbq and was in B&Q on the way back from the hospital to buy the barbecue.

Dp was doing the lifting and pushing of the trolley whilst I shuffled along 48 hours after a c section

PatriciaHolm · 20/09/2018 12:16

11 weeks?

I went out to dinner with DD in her pram when she was 3 days old!

Different people have very different birth experiences of course though - I had elective sections and recovered very quickly both times, plus DD was a dream baby. I was lucky.

maddening · 20/09/2018 12:20

My birth was hard on my body - 4 days back to back meant it was hard to get out initially - whatever suits you and your family is right

MotherWol · 20/09/2018 12:22

I've always understood it to mean that when you've got a baby the logistics of getting out of the house can be difficult - getting out of the house without the baby having a poonami just as you're getting dressed, the sheer amount of stuff you have to cart around - it can seem like a massive challenge in the early sleep deprived days. It's not weird to go out with a young baby, it's just recognition that it's not always easy, and saying something nice to show solidarity.

maddening · 20/09/2018 12:23

Ps ds was born in Jan 2011 in the big snow period so that meant going out was harder before factoring in my knackered body with multiple hernias 😂

Wispaismyfave · 20/09/2018 12:24

I went for a walk with a 3 day old with the first and 1 day old with the second. I felt great though. I was out shopping a few days after they were born and had lots of "wows" I didn't realise you were meant to sit around at home for weeks?! I was pretty bored having to sit in waiting for midwives etc, I couldn't stand sitting in all day, felt much better out and about. I guess I was just very lucky I recovered right away so I could go out.

Musereader · 20/09/2018 12:24

I took mine out from 4 days old, despite xp saying I had to stay in the house for 2 weeks, (apparently his sister had been made to stay in the house by his dad for 2 weeks after her first, she did not like it). He confirmed with the midwife on the 5 day visit that baby and I could go out, I just had to be careful due to risk of bleeding for me, no concern about the baby being out that young.

nutellanom · 20/09/2018 12:27

I think babies and mums vary and it's whatever works for you. I was out and about loads as my baby only slept in pram or car. I also had lots of friends I wanted to see and needed it for my sanity. However I had friends whose babies slept better on them/whilst being bounced around etc and it was better for them to stay at home. They enjoyed the chill time whereas I really struggled being on my own.

SummerInSun · 20/09/2018 12:27

It’s great that you aren’t having any trouble getting out, but I guess because some people do, the people who are commenting are just trying to be friendly and supportive. They don’t know whether you are one of the people who find it easy or difficult.

Personally both my babies loved being out in their buggies from pretty much day 1 - taking them out for walks or to snooze in their buggies in noisy cafes was easy. It was figuring out what to do with them at home so that I could shower, tidy, cook, etc that was a massive challenge!

ChanklyBore · 20/09/2018 12:31

I am very lucky to recover quickly from birth. With all of my children I have been out and about with them at hours old, and we’d be out at least twice a day every day thereafter. By weeks old I was back to work and study, baby with me, and taking them on holidays. I take pretty much zero stuff out with me for a new baby, the absolute minimum. However, before my babies are born, during pregnancy, I can barely be craned off my sofa, I hate going anywhere, it seems like such a massive faff, I’m in pain, I hate the stares, I just go out as little as possible.

So everyone is different. There is no right way. There is only what you are happy with.

paddlingwhenIshouldbeworking · 20/09/2018 12:36

5 days with DC1, 3 days with DC2, weeks with DTs as one had health issues.

But thinking about most of friends, they were generally out anything between 1-7 days if no health issues.

I would think people are being kind and supportive and making small talk which is generally pretty vague

BlueBug45 · 20/09/2018 12:37

Out with DD from day 3 and she is my first child.

OH was debating asking me whether I wanted to walk back from hospital on day 2 but decided not to risk asking me because of my stitches so we got a taxi for the 2 minute journey.

She actually sleeps in her pram while walking, on the bus, on the train and in the car. She is more alert when I'm sat at home particularly when I'm on my own. It has just taken me 2 hours to empty the rubbish and recycling because she wants to be fed, winded, held, etc.

Ginmakesitallok · 20/09/2018 12:37

We popped into Tesco on the way home from hospital with dd2. Someone stopped us and asked how old she was, I had to look at my watch to tell her...

kaytee87 · 20/09/2018 12:37

I had a friend who didn’t leave her house for 6 months! She just built it up I to this huge thing. Parenting is only as hard as you make it.

Do you not think your friend might have been suffering from post natal anxiety, rather than she'd built it up and made it hard for herself.
If one of my friends didn't leave the house for 6 months I'd be truly worried about them.

paddlingwhenIshouldbeworking · 20/09/2018 12:38

I also found it easier to be out. I was more in awe of those who managed a day inside with a small baby as that I found that so hard.

arethereanyleftatall · 20/09/2018 12:40

On way home from hospital. Had to get other child from nursery, a short walk.
I was 'properly' out on day 2, I had a sling, and used to do lots of walks. I think it really helped baby to be bounced along vertical and close to me in the fresh air in all sorts of ways.

Confusedbeetle · 20/09/2018 12:46

There is no right and wrong. We should not put pressure on new mothers to do anything they don't feel ready to do. Next step, celeb getting the pre pregancy body back in weeks. Things should take as long as they need

Nellyelora · 20/09/2018 12:54

I've read threads on here before about mums being chastised for being out because they live in countries where its frowned upon to be out before the baby is X weeks old. Also those being told off for not having a hat, coat and blanket on a baby despite it being 35 degrees .

I went out with Dd for the first time when she was 3 days old. We went shopping when she was 6 days, the staff in Jojo Maman bebe seemed surprised we were out. I had a long back to back labour and second degree tear but I felt better physically and mentally to go for a walk, even just 5 mins around the block.

Personally I've never struggled getting out of the house, all you need is a few nappies, muslims, wipes and change of clothes. I appreciate its a bit more difficult if you are formula feeding but a few of my friends take enough stuff out with them to open their own mothercare store - it's a bit ridiculous and seems to be used (by them) as an excuse not to go out. Arguably if you're going for a 10/15 min walk you don't actually need to take anything with you.

However, I'm due again at Xmas and to some extent I doubt I will do as much as I did first time round. We did quite a lot of meeting friends at coffee shops/pubs, family were always nagging for us to visit or to go to places with us (so they could push the pram). We had a horrendous day at the zoo when dd was 4 weeks old which we'd been pressurised into going to (surely I should feel OK now was the wise words of my MIL, a retired midwife ). Other than short walks and the nursery run, I'm not planning on doing the coffee shop/visiting people again for a few months (basically until the weather is better and if it snows I'm pretty much house bound as I don't drive).

steppemum · 20/09/2018 12:57

blimey I travelled on ferry to another country to see dh family at 5 weeks, back at 7 weeks, and flew with them at 8 weeks.

Not that I would recommend that!

But I think people are just being nice, and saying well done in any way they can, as they know it is hard being a new mum

Cath2907 · 20/09/2018 12:59

I would argue that parenting is not always "only as hard as you make it". My DD had severe reflux and from 3 weeks old she screamed all the time and didn't sleep. It was monumentally hard and certainly not of my making. In fact it was so hard we didn't have a second child as I couldn't risk another year like I had with the first one.

steppemum · 20/09/2018 13:02

and with dc1 I was staying in a small village in UK, so we wondered down the road/path with the buggy to get some fresh air everyday, but very low key. I couldn't walk far with dc1 due to horrible stitches (wasn't funny doing the drive to the ferry etc.)

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