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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hope people won’t notice I’m by myself

128 replies

Ilovehamabeads · 20/09/2018 08:11

There’s a show doing a national tour at the moment and I really want to see it when it comes to my city. Unfortunately I don’t know anybody else in the world who likes it even remotely.
Never been to the theatre by myself but seriously considering it this time. Aibu to think the other people wouldn’t notice or wonder why I’m alone? Or would I look like a complete sad case?
It’s so far out of my comfort zone to do something like this (which I know makes me sound pathetic!) but I’m desperate to see the show. Already feeling anxious about it and I haven’t even got a ticket yet lol.

OP posts:
maddening · 20/09/2018 10:10

I'm going on a 4 day festival cruise by myself next year - can't wait! 🤩

notacooldad · 20/09/2018 10:16

Seriously why would anyone give twopence if you are by your self?

Nobody cares.
I mean that in a nice way.

I think the first time you step out of your comfort zone is the hardest. You never know you may prefer it. I do.

I have a friend that I avoid going to the pictures as they talk all the way through ' oh ,my, god, as if that would happen' ' can you imagine if someone said that too me' etc. I definitely prefer my own company than listen to that every movie!

Cottonsheets · 20/09/2018 10:21

Go.Go.Go!
Theatres are always so busy and dark. Even if someone did notice, they might think your companion couldn't make it. Have a lovely time.

MarthaHanson · 20/09/2018 10:23

Quite often go by myself, no one has ever batted an eyelid. Go go!!

CookPassBabtridge · 20/09/2018 10:25

I don't notice what other people are doing at all. I go to the cinema all the time by myself, even on friday nights when it's full of couples! Go and enjoy yourself!

deste · 20/09/2018 10:25

I’ve done it a few times, just buy a program and sit and read it. Lots of people do it.

MarthaHanson · 20/09/2018 10:26

And, having just rtft, you are an absolute badass @queenrollo have an amazing time this weekend!

lynmilne65 · 20/09/2018 10:26

Been to theatre couple of times on my own. Was fine !

WitsEnding · 20/09/2018 10:35

No-one will notice. I do this often (rather hoping to meet a fellow drama fan) and trust me nobody sees you even if you would welcome the attention. The lights will be down during the show; get your ticket in advance and you won't need to queue up on your own.

If you are really anxious waiting for the doors to open and want to be out of the way for a moment, join the queue for the loo.

queenrollo · 20/09/2018 11:59

@MarthaHanson it's the first time I have ever done this and I am a little over 40.

@Ilovehamabeads I know it's hard to do something like this alone and you can feel very self-conscious. But I know that I have friends who do this kind of thing solo all the time, I am completely in awe of them.
I decided that it was time to stop letting my anxiety take over, because I have missed out on too many things because of it. So this time when I saw the band was playing, I just decided I was doing it. I didn't stop to think about it, my anxiety doesn't get a look in if I am impulsive.
If you could walk up to the theatre right this minute, get a seat and watch the show - would you? I suspect the answer is yes. Channel that electric feeling of excitment. Tell yourself you are excited, not anxious. My therapist told me to do this, I was sceptical....it's working.

You can do this.

MmeButtox · 20/09/2018 12:04

I go to the theatre alone whenever I want to see something and others dont. I never worry - the lights are off anyway and no ones looking at each other. If you need the buffer zone, read your programme before it starts etc. I always hsve my drink waiting at the interval. Pure heaven! Plus you can often get an excellent single seat!!

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 20/09/2018 12:57

If it helps, I go by myself to absolutely everything because I have no friends [sob]. It's my default setting, no one cares. Honestly.

finn1020 · 20/09/2018 13:13

My just turned 18 year old is about to travel to the uk on her own from Australia. We don’t know anyone in the uk. She’s going to the theatre in London on her own. I’m sure you’ll be fine.

areyoubeingserviced · 20/09/2018 13:14

I go to the theatre by myself all the time.
Don’t even think of other people tbh

Gersemi · 20/09/2018 13:15

If I'm in central London, I like to take advantage of the deals some theatres offer for unsold tickets on the day of the performance. Generally that very much depends on how I feel at the time, and whether there is anything I want to see, so realistically there is no chance to organise meeting up with anyone else. I must say I enjoy it.

Figgygal · 20/09/2018 13:16

I have gone to theatre, cinema and gigs on my own

Do it no one will care and you wont miss out.

Clandestino · 20/09/2018 13:17

Why the F do you care about company? I frequently go to see theatre shows or to the cinema on my own. Find I enjoy it more. Wouldn't even consider thinking about it.

Original poster
Ilovehamabeads · 20/09/2018 13:17

THANK YOU for all the positive replies and in particular for those people who have admitted feeling awkward initially but doing it anyway. Feeling positive from the replies, I channelled my excitement and booked the ticket!
(For those who asked, it’s Benidorm. And that’s why I couldn’t find anyone to go with me Grin If it had been Les Mis or Mamma Mia etc I’m sure I wouldn’t have had any such problems!)

OP posts:
Justabouthadituptohere · 20/09/2018 13:18

I went to the theatre by myself. No one noticed. I chatted to the people either side of me during the interval.

areyoubeingserviced · 20/09/2018 13:19

Great news

TigerDroveAgain · 20/09/2018 13:21

Ooh! I’m trying to persuade DH to go to “Benidorm”: have a brilliant time!

user1495390685 · 20/09/2018 13:22

It is so nice to go out on your own!! Get away from the daily worries and just enjoy the completely different environment on your terms, without having to please anyone, waiting for them, going/not going to the bar with them, walking together, worrying about discussing things, etc. Do not worry about it for a second -- it's liberating to be comfortable with only yourself for company! Bring a book to read if you feel you will need to look busy with something.

JaneR0chester · 20/09/2018 13:24

Well done for booking the ticket, I'm sure you'll have a great time.

For what it's worth, I love going to the theatre, cinema or galleries by myself. I think it's such a treat to have that time to myself away from family, to indulge in what I enjoy and not have to worry if the kids or the OH is also having a good time. It's an entirely positive experience for me, one that I wish I could do more often!

Dorkdiary · 20/09/2018 13:30

I've been to loads of theatre on my own and I met a lady last time who has been doing the same for the last twenty years as her dh hates musicals.

I recently went to see The Band Musical and we couldn't get tickets together so sat rows apart. It's no big issue.

DarlingNikita · 20/09/2018 13:34

I don't know what city you're in but in London at least, no one would give a rat's ass. Loads of people do theatre/arty things alone. Enjoy it!