To hope people won’t notice I’m by myself

[Ilovehamabeads]

There’s a show doing a national tour at the moment and I really want to see it when it comes to my city. Unfortunately I don’t know anybody else in the world who likes it even remotely.
Never been to the theatre by myself but seriously considering it this time. Aibu to think the other people wouldn’t notice or wonder why I’m alone? Or would I look like a complete sad case?
It’s so far out of my comfort zone to do something like this (which I know makes me sound pathetic!) but I’m desperate to see the show. Already feeling anxious about it and I haven’t even got a ticket yet lol.

I go to the theatre on my own all the time. Tickets these days are eye-wateringly expensive, you won't always find someone willing or able to go with you.
I can promise you won't be the only solo patron there, and no one will either notice or give it a second thought. Go and have fun!

I do lots of things on my own. It shows you are independent and confident. Once you’ve done it once you’ll do it again. It’s liberating not to have to find someone to go with you. Everyone else is there to watch the show not to monitor other people. Go for it!

I go to theatre and art galleries by myself a lot. No one ever takes much notices as far as I can tell, generally people are focused on themselves. I like it because I feel that I concentrate better. Also I can just think about / please myself.

I frequently go by myself, and it does save you from that awful feeling of worrying whether the person you go with will enjoy it (especially bad if it was your idea). As someone else has said earlier, it sometimes means you can get much better seats, and can frequently get into sold out shows - there are nearly always odd single seats dotted around that the box office are keen to get rid of! And by the time you've fought your way into the loos and bought an ice-cream/drink the entire interval has gone by. One thing I do once I get back home is google all the reviews for the show, and see if I agree/disagree with them - it can add to your understanding of the show as well. Enjoy!

Honestly go and enjoy it. No one will notice, I had an unexpected afternoon of once and I went to see the lion king as I was keen to see it and everyone else I knew had seen it so i went and it was fine.

I often go to the cinema alone because I’m the only one in my friend group who likes scary monster films.

Definitely go alone.

I do it frequently.

These shows are so expensive nowadays it's really not worth asking someone else unless you know they will enjoy it - even if you paid for the tickets.

I'd rather pay for one really good seat than 2 not so good ones and enjoy it by myself.

I've got a colleague who does all kind of things like this by herself, including holidays. Far from thinking it's/she's odd i think its absolutely brilliant and admire her for it. She's very popular and has tons of friends too.

Have you checked on meetup? Sometimes they do events to shows and so you'll be one of a few in the same boat seeing it together?

I doubt I would notice, but if I did notice that someone was there alone, I would not think they were 'sad-as-they-have-no-friends' but rather would assume:
-They are confident and strong.
-They know what they like, rather than someone who goes along with the others.
-They are here because they want to see this actual show, not because a group of friends was looking for somewhere to go and this show happened to be on.
-Probably they understand a lot more than I do about the show we're seeing, can tell the nuances of where the acting is good/bad, can compare it to similar shows, etc whereas I just have a very superficial 'enjoyment' of it.

So, nothing but respect and a very positive impression.

I'd go alone and enjoy the me time. I'm not one to care what others think, but if I was, I would definitely do this... But if you're so self conscious that you really are anxious about it, take a notebook and pen and pretend to take notes.

I must have been to the theatre literally hundreds of times (alone and with others). I don’t remember ever noticing whether other people were on their own.

Why wouod it be an issue for you to go alone??
What do you think this says about you, bar ‘she really likes xxx’?

Just go for it. Enjoy every minute and don’t let the ‘what if people think I’m xxx (whatever that might be)’ stop you from enjoying yourself.

Btw If they do think your are xxx, then it will say mi h more abiut them them about you!

Go for it and enjoy the show!

P.S. Is it Les Mis?

I have done it, made a couple of phone calls during the interval rather than stand alone. Last time I got ticket last minute and got the best seat seat as singles are hard to sell

I go to the theatre, cinema, comedy, gigs and sports thing on my todd. It's fine - I'd go so far as to say liberating even. Do it.

If it’s a new concept for you to go alone to these sorts of things, then imagine yourself as someone who would find it normal and entirely positive.

Inhabit the persona of, say, a flight attendant who would find herself alone in new cities with exciting things on all the time.

Or a sports fan, who is at a loose end after an out-of-town game and buys a ticket.

Or a single mum who miraculously gets given a ticket and a babysitting voucher by her sister, and is practically gagging for proper adult solo time.

Or a celebrity on a speaking tour, who is sick to death of being the centre of attention, and just wants a few hours in a dark theatre where no-one knows her...

I suspect after you break your ‘going out on the town alone’ cherry, there’ll be no stopping you...!

I was in the same boat last year - I'd won tickets to a ballet at Sadlers Wells and my friend couldn't make it at the last minute and nobody else could step in at short notice. Having never been to a ballet, I really wanted to go and am so glad I did. Really enjoyed the show and once there, found it absolutely fine to be by myself. Plus, I didn't have to share my interval treats

It's not sad to do these things solo - quite the opposite I'd say!

There aren't many places I would go on my own, but I definitely would to the theatre. Go and enjoy it.

I recently went to a Harry Styles concert by myself. I am 65! I wanted to see him live. I probably did stand out but didn't care. I have also been to a ballet matinee by myself. I did stand out a bit because my seat broke minutes before the performance started.

I went alone the other day. Noone seemed to care - and there was a girl a few seats down from me also by herself.

Think about how much you'll love the show, how much you are already excited, what a superb opportunity it is and how pleased you will be with yourself for going. Think all these thoughts as a replacement for each time you think "will someone notice I'm on my own? will they think I have no friends?"

It's some sort of tactic from therapy, replacing negative with positive and drumming it into yourself. By sheer repetition you'll start to believe it and fear less. Works for other situations as well. In some cases it's worth even writing the positives on a slip of paper and, in cases of panic, getting it out and reading to yourself.

You'll be fine! Enjoy the show

Oooh I LOVE going to the theatre and cinema alone. Enjoy your show, OP!

Why would anyone even care? Go and enjoy yourself

Which show? Perhaps there’s another MNer in the same boat?!

I have been held back by anxiety for years. This weekend I am travelling to a city alone and going to a gig alone. Not even a big gig but something at a small venue where I know most of the crowd are going to know each other.
Am I nervous? yes. Is my anxiety whispering in my ear? yes.
Am I doing it anyway? Too fucking right. I'm sick of living half a life at the mercy of anxiety.