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AIBU?

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Son's girlfriend living with us and becoming a burden

499 replies

womanofthesun · 19/09/2018 15:29

My son (20) seems to have moved his girlfriend into our house. From the day he introduced me to her back in April, she's spent every day and night here (with the exception of about 2). He works full-time and whilst he's at work, she'll spend the whole day in his room. That, alone, isn't the problem. The problem is that she's become a burden, both spatially and financially. She spends a lot of time in the bathroom doing her hair and make-up, which means that I'm often having to wait for her to finish before I can use my own bathroom. She's also been taking 2 showers a day - one in the morning and one in the evening (neither myself or my son have that many - we both have 1). Whilst she's having a shower, she often plays music from her phone too (which, to me, is an indication that she's gotten a little too cosy here). When my son returns from work, he'll cook an elaborate dinner for them both (he's a very good cook), and whilst he's sweating in the kitchen after a long day's work, she'll either be in his bedroom waiting to be handed a plate, or sat in the kitchen, watching him do all the work. In fact, this is the case with any household activity - he'll cook/clean/tidy whilst she'll just watch, usually whilst scrolling through her phone. She's also taken to swanning around the house in little shorts and belly tops. I've even see her put the heating and hot water on whilst my son is at work. She knows we're a family that struggles, financially, so to have her use our utilities this way is quite stressful. I've even caught her spitting in our garden whilst sat outside smoking. I just find that she's being quite disrespectful, now. AIBU to feel this way? His old girlfriend was really helpful and would always help him with household things. She was very respectful and kept her presence within the house quite small (she also spent most nights in her own home). This one doesn't seem to understand boundaries. One time she was ill with a cold and was coughing and sneezing quite freely around the house. As I have a young baby, I had to ask her to leave on that occasion and come back only when she is better - I didn't want my baby getting sick (he already has an autoimmune disorder which makes his immune system weak, which I explained to her). My son does give me a certain amount of his wage each month for his keep, but not enough to cover what's being used by the extra body to be honest. And, to be honest, no amount of money would make up for the inconvenience caused by her constant physical presence within the house.

Thing is, I'm afraid to bring this up to them because I know she's a nice girl who probably means well (although I do feel that she feels quite entitled to my son's treatment and the benefits of technically living with us - I think she feels she's a "catch" for my son). I just think she's young and naive to the impact of her presence.

AIBU to feel that my son's girlfriend's behaviour isn't really on?

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 10/06/2019 18:54

I’m afraid I would never have tolerated her in the first place. Seems you’re a bit stuck now, OP.

Guadalquivir19 · 10/06/2019 18:59

She's got herself very comfortable hasn't she? I take it your son thought she was on the pill so didn't use condoms.....The pair of them are complete piss takers who'll now expect both families to support them financially & to babysit.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 10/06/2019 19:01

It looks like she got pregnant after you told her to move out? Well, anew family should have their own space - they got to move nowShock

pictish · 10/06/2019 19:03

Well you’re going to have to elaborate further!

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 10/06/2019 19:04

C’mon OP, tell us the rest.

eddielizzard · 10/06/2019 19:05

Uh oh

Gazelda · 10/06/2019 19:08

Are they both still living with you OP?

Daysofpearlyspencer · 10/06/2019 19:08

Refer back to what I posted on 19 September, 16:47...it was always going to happen

Daysofpearlyspencer · 10/06/2019 19:09

16:17 even!

BasinHaircut · 10/06/2019 19:11

So she was already pregnant when you started this thread.

Explains why her mum (clearly) slung her out of her already overcrowded house and had high expectations of your son or whatever it was.

Waffles80 · 10/06/2019 19:13

Maybe that’s why she was doing all the swanning about in her small? So you’d notice the bun in the oven.

Waffles80 · 10/06/2019 19:14

*smalls.

Walkamileinmyshoesbeforeujudge · 10/06/2019 19:14

Evict ASAP.

Beautiful3 · 10/06/2019 19:14

Oh my days, what an update! Is your son at least saving up to move out?

RiotAndAlarum · 10/06/2019 19:17

Oh, dear... Sad

sqirrelfriends · 10/06/2019 19:18

Oh dear OP, I hope this will be a turning point for her to take some responsibility.

Obviously I have no idea what has taken place in the last year, for all I know she's started a course, got a job and moved out.

LadyRannaldini · 10/06/2019 19:18

Her name's not Liberty is it? Strayed from Archers' Addicts!

GreenTulips · 10/06/2019 19:18

And ....

inlectorecumbit · 10/06/2019 19:21

OP
If they still in your house you have done them no favours. They will never be independent and it will be left to you to finance the raising of the DC.
If they are old enough to have a DC they are old enough to live on their own

MolyHolyGuacamole · 10/06/2019 19:25

🤦‍♀️

Hazlenutpie · 10/06/2019 19:27

Jesus wept OP, grow a pair and sort this out. It's totally unacceptable, you are definitely being taken for a ride.

AlaskanOilBaron · 10/06/2019 19:30

In the nicest possibly way, I can't believe you've allowed this to happen.

bebeboeuf · 10/06/2019 19:32

Wow

She is brazen
He is disrespectful
You are caught in middle

He is adult enough to be told that he has to deal with this.

It’s a shame that he’s put this upon you to worry about and deal with

MyOtherProfile · 10/06/2019 19:33

They need their own place now then.

ChewbaccaHutchinsCool · 10/06/2019 19:33

This is what happens when you go softly softly with obviously pisstaking adult children. My BIL is still dossing at Mam's house at the ripe ol' age of 43.

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