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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Petty I know but (Would) IBU to copy everyone into the reply?

358 replies

VladmirsPoutine · 18/09/2018 22:14

I know this is quite a petty gripe but it's been eating away at me all evening so I've turned to the reasonable minds of MN.

I'm working on a project in which I have to complete a certain aspect before a colleague can complete her bit. The deadline is looming so about 3 weeks ago she e-mailed me asking me to send her my bit when I was done. I replied that same afternoon with my finished section saying if she wanted me to make any changes or had any comments to let me know soon as and it'd be my first priority.

I didn't hear anything back so all was well in the world. Earlier this afternoon I received an e-mail from her basically saying "Vlad, I asked you to send me xyz 3 weeks ago so I could complete abc as the deadline is nearing. Where is it? Can you send it ASAP." She'd copied in her manager, my manager and their managers too, along with a few others on the edges of the project.

She's not a malicious person so what I suspect happened is that her manager basically asked her where it was as he probably wanted to have a once-over before we declared it finished. So she must have panicked and just sent the e-mail to everyone.

Thing is, if she'd just e-mailed me or just came over to me to ask about it I would have happily said 'Here it is.... I sent it to you that day but you must have overlooked it.'

Now I feel like copying in all the people in the e-mail she sent with a PA reply. As I see it - even if I take the high road and just quietly e-mail her to the others it will look as though I dropped the ball and suddenly picked it back up again when brought to attention.

I've had quite a fairly long and extensive career so I'm not a stranger to these sorts of antics but for one or two reasons this has really irked me.

If you're still with me: WIBU to copy everyone else into the reply saying I sent this to you the same day you asked me about it (which incidentally was to schedule), or should I just send it to her alone in an e-mail and think no more of it?

OP posts:
ThisIsNotMyRealName1 · 18/09/2018 23:04

Yeah, she's throwing you under the bus so def copy the rest of the world in on your reply. No need to be arsey, but also no need for any apology, it's not like you did anything wrong :)

Duck90 · 18/09/2018 23:04

Reply to all in this current email chain, saying along the lines of I emailed you straight back on xx date. I will forward it again.

This will be enough for the others to wonder why your colleague is being a pain in the ass.

Don’t forward the old one to all.

Original poster
VladmirsPoutine · 18/09/2018 23:04

Single I definitely did send the various bits I had to do as our work runs on different project deadlines so I pretty much knew that day I had to send it. I double and triple checked that I did send it when I got her e-mail today but I do admit I thought it a bit odd that she hadn't mentioned anything in the past 3 weeks as usually there's a bit of back and forth with people to finalise things but as she hadn't said anything I thought 'Jackpot'.

OP posts:
mostdays · 18/09/2018 23:05

I would forward the email you sent her and cc to everyone she copied hers to. Not at all U to do so.

RonniePickering · 18/09/2018 23:07

I’m with you and everyone else, copy them all in.

DobbyLovesSocks · 18/09/2018 23:07

I had this at work recently. I took and and typed notes following a monthly project meeting and sent them to our big manager for approval as is the norm. They then sent them to intermediate manager copying me in asking them to verify content as they were at the meeting and then send any corrections to me for circulation. Two days before the next project meeting intermediate manager emails me, copying in senior manager asking where the notes are and have they been circulated as she hadn't seen them. I calmly forwarded the email our senior manager had sent asking THEM to verify the notes and said I was still waiting for them to be verified so I could circulate. If the person had asked me directly I would have quietly said I was waiting for verification but as they chose to email and copy in our senior manager to try and make it look like I'd dropped the ball I felt it only fair to return the favour
Karma is a bitch

alwayslearning789 · 18/09/2018 23:07

She sent it to all, therefore you reply to all - with the original email sent attached as requested.

RabbitsAreTasty · 18/09/2018 23:10

Reply all with the original email attached. Be factual and professional.

Leave the excuse making to her. She's probably lining some up already. If you go in with a list of suggested excuses that bollocks it up for her. It also makes you look a bit crap to your managers.

I'm a senior manager. I would look far far more favourably on a person who makes a quick no nonsense reply with facts, no blame, no accusations, especially PA ones, no office drama. Such people are a joy to have in your team.

sliceofcheese · 18/09/2018 23:10

I'd send a reply all as well. I'd be tempted to add. "I'm sorry you didn't receive this. I assumed all was ok, I'm surprised you didn't ask me earlier..."

tildaMa · 18/09/2018 23:11

I genuinely think she just missed the e-mail and panicked when her boss spoke to her (just my assumption - I don't know).

She had 3 weeks to notice and somehow didn't? Even though it's essential to the work she's supposed to be finishing now? No way.

whatshappenednow · 18/09/2018 23:11

Definitely cc everyone in and start the email with something like “you must have missed this” or “you are mistaken...” or “I did send you the report on x date” so that the casual reader gets the gist by scanning the first line. Most wont read beyond the first line or two when the email is only for their information.

magoria · 18/09/2018 23:12

She hasn't done her part.

Being generous she may have missed your original email however she knew the deadline was approaching and should have checked in with you in ample time to get her part done.

Her boss has now had to intervene because nothing has been done.

She is passing the blame to you with you didn't send her your part.

This has gone above your level as the boss has got involved. Be professional.

I have a colleague who takes a long time to do simple stuff. Every time I ask her I update our customer file with 'chased XX on date'. After a month or so I start asking by email rather than verbally and still update the customer file.

stevesmithsmum · 18/09/2018 23:12

Yup, I see this shit all the time at work. Office politics at its best.

Play it with a straight bat. You’re really obliged to reply to all. Attach the original email and the documents. Don’t use sarcasm as some have suggested. Just reply, "please find attached email sent on xxxxxx with documents attached as requested."

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe · 18/09/2018 23:13

No, don't do any of the I know we're all busy shit, it will come across as exactly what it is - a PA dig which doesn't show you in a particularly good light.

Just re-send ccing those she included, noting that she doesn't appear to have received the email you sent on X date, attach it (showing original date sent) and once again if she requires clarification/anything more she should please revert. Leave it at that.

tildaMa · 18/09/2018 23:13

I'd reply all with a copy of the original email, no apologies, just dry facts: Colleague, I sent you xyz 3 weeks ago as requested. Here's a copy of the original email.

MulticolourMophead · 18/09/2018 23:15

Agree reply to all to colleague's email, attaching copy of original email.

Keep the message simple, others will see though any PA stuff. "Please see attached, copy of email sent on xx date".

For the future, set emails to have delivery and read receipts. You don't need to keep these, but I keep these for certain colleagues who are likely to be funny about stuff.

AynRandTheObjectivist · 18/09/2018 23:16

Something similar happened to me today, but the idiot doesn't actually know who my boss is. So he cc-ed a load of people who sit in my office but aren't my managers and rarely work on projects with me. They certainly had nothing to do with what he was emailing me about.

I didn't see any reason to clog their inboxes up with crap that they don't need to worry about so when I replied by forwarding the information as I had sent it weeks ago, I sent it just to him. I like to think that he felt silly when he realised not only that I'd responded to him ages ago, but that I didn't care who he'd cc-ed in.

To cap it all, when I said to the office, "Sorry about that, I sent him that stuff ages ago and I don't know why he cc-ed you all in", my ACTUAL boss, who wasn't in the email, said, "Oh him? He's a knob."

Haggishaggispudding · 18/09/2018 23:19

On this occasion I’d fwd and copy them all in. And don’t don’t don’t say sorry.

Maelstrop · 18/09/2018 23:19

Definitely forward original email, reply all. Snippy comment re ‘Perhaps you missed this?’ Definitely no apology. She escalated this, not you.

Threehoursfromhome · 18/09/2018 23:19

Agree with PP: cc all with the original email attached. You didn't choose to ecsalate the matter by circulating to a wider audience, but as she did, she has to accept the consequenes.

AlexaAmbidextra · 18/09/2018 23:19

If someone does this to me and ccs others in then I reply to all. Wouldn’t want anyone to get half the story. 😜

puzzledlady · 18/09/2018 23:19

Ive done this - a colleague tried to make me look bad, as i had just returned from maternity and she 'assumed' she had magically become more senior than me because she didnt take a time off like i did (for maternity) . Tried to make it look like i had 'forgotten' protocol and 'forgotten' how to do certain stuff, all done in a smiley-passive-aggressive way of course, with many bloody smileys while saying 'oh dear, maybe we need to see if you need a refresher course smiley smiley smiley' type of shit.

Yeah buddy - no. I forwarded on the email, copied everyone in and she looked a twat. Came apologising in person and said she had completely missed the email. I smiled, said its fine, understandable as she only had 2 years experience compared to my 8. Mistakes happen - we learn.

She never did it again.

SerenDippyEggs · 18/09/2018 23:25

She's thrown you under the bus, so CC everyone and their dogs!

Penisbeakerismyfavethread · 18/09/2018 23:25

BloodyBosch
I would forward the original, copying in the same people

This is the answer.

however
if you want to avoid being too pa write on the forwarded message.

^here you are lovely, I’ve forwarded the message again and I’m not sure what happened last time. Let me know you’ve got this one and I hope it’s not an inconvenience

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 18/09/2018 23:25

I think you're being a bit naive. She's trying to throw you under the bus here, so you absolutely must clear your name and reputation by letting all those people she tried to smear you to, know that you are, in fact, efficient and doing your job properly. If she has cocked up, it's for her to sort. She didn't have to cc half the world into her email, but hey. She did, and she's about to see her chickens come home to roost.