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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Petty I know but (Would) IBU to copy everyone into the reply?

358 replies

VladmirsPoutine · 18/09/2018 22:14

I know this is quite a petty gripe but it's been eating away at me all evening so I've turned to the reasonable minds of MN.

I'm working on a project in which I have to complete a certain aspect before a colleague can complete her bit. The deadline is looming so about 3 weeks ago she e-mailed me asking me to send her my bit when I was done. I replied that same afternoon with my finished section saying if she wanted me to make any changes or had any comments to let me know soon as and it'd be my first priority.

I didn't hear anything back so all was well in the world. Earlier this afternoon I received an e-mail from her basically saying "Vlad, I asked you to send me xyz 3 weeks ago so I could complete abc as the deadline is nearing. Where is it? Can you send it ASAP." She'd copied in her manager, my manager and their managers too, along with a few others on the edges of the project.

She's not a malicious person so what I suspect happened is that her manager basically asked her where it was as he probably wanted to have a once-over before we declared it finished. So she must have panicked and just sent the e-mail to everyone.

Thing is, if she'd just e-mailed me or just came over to me to ask about it I would have happily said 'Here it is.... I sent it to you that day but you must have overlooked it.'

Now I feel like copying in all the people in the e-mail she sent with a PA reply. As I see it - even if I take the high road and just quietly e-mail her to the others it will look as though I dropped the ball and suddenly picked it back up again when brought to attention.

I've had quite a fairly long and extensive career so I'm not a stranger to these sorts of antics but for one or two reasons this has really irked me.

If you're still with me: WIBU to copy everyone else into the reply saying I sent this to you the same day you asked me about it (which incidentally was to schedule), or should I just send it to her alone in an e-mail and think no more of it?

OP posts:
FrenchJunebug · 19/09/2018 09:16

Copy everyone with a copy of the original email you sent her. It's not being petty.

JellyBears · 19/09/2018 09:20

Just email back with everyone included. “Hi as requested I sent the completed etc on this date.”

Also next time it’s a good idea to email and get a confirmation that it was received to avoid these situations in the future.

Bluntness100 · 19/09/2018 09:22

Ive had this happen. Don't take the fall for her, but don't be PA either, you lose the upper hand,

Just forward the original email, cc everyone she did, with the brief message " forwarding original email sent on date x. Thanks Vlad.

And leave it there.

Satsumaeater · 19/09/2018 09:23

They are currently thinking you’re incompetent so you need to correct it

This. Currently there is a perception that you didn't do your job properly and perceptions are difficult to shift. However, unequivocal evidence that you sent the response when you should have done should do the job.

I used to hate the cc and on occasion would reply to all and say something like "cc'ing in x y and z people because they were copied into the original so assume they've asked to be kept informed) but that may be a bit too PA so a simple "I sent the email on [date] here it is again attached] should be sufficient.

ShotsFired · 19/09/2018 09:26

I did similar just this week.

Instead of forwarding the attachment the person was looking for, I attached the email the attachment was originally sent in, which shows up as date first.

There is a special place in hell reserved for people who politically CC.

bigKiteFlying · 19/09/2018 09:27

Reply to all - please find attached e-mail dated x with require work.

That's not being petty - that's providing the requested information - something she's decided everyone on that list needs to know - so give it to them.

I don't think that's petty or requiring more thought TBH – I’d have done it automatically.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 19/09/2018 09:28

She's throwing you under the bus.
Make sure the tyre marks are down her back, not yours!

luckylavender · 19/09/2018 09:30

Absolutely copy everyone in

happyasasandboy · 19/09/2018 09:32

The only professionally thing to do is Reply All to her chasing message, attach the message you sent weeks ago (in its entirety, not just the document), and write a short message like;

Jane,

Please see attached message from xx/xx/xx with the divine the attached. As I said then, please do let me know if any changes are needed.

Thanks,

Vladmir

itswinetime · 19/09/2018 09:32

Definitely reply to all with the original message attached. I would go non shirty with the message and stay factual. The facts speak for themselves.

bigKiteFlying · 19/09/2018 09:33

I wouldn't assume she is throwing you under the bus (though I wouldn't rule it out either) - perhaps it went to her spam folder and it fell off her mental to do list till now and she's assumed it was your fault.

Getting an e-mail acknowledgement in future may be worth considering -perhaps follow up conformation no changes are needed e-mail.

DontCallMeCharlotte · 19/09/2018 09:34

Of course cc everyone else. After all, she has.

But I'd keep it simple and send your original email. Don't make an issue of it.

"Further to your email, please see below my email dated ***"

TheCag · 19/09/2018 09:44

As the above poster says, I’d forward your original email again with everyone cc’d in. If she didn’t want managers to see your response she shouldn’t have copied them in in the first place.

DarlingNikita · 19/09/2018 09:45

I too have had enough of other people being shit and passing it on to me.

Absolutely reply all and attach the whole of your original message. Only additional message required is 'Hi mare Colleague. See my original email of [date] with material attached. Now fuck off Thanks and best, Vlad.'

No need for any additional PA stuff about her checking her junk mail.

morningconstitutional2017 · 19/09/2018 09:49

Least said, soonest mended, my mum always used to say. It's up to you and your conscience.

Havaina · 19/09/2018 09:50

@lisasimpsonsaxaphone

I know you can't, but if you could post the contents of that twat's email to you, that would make my day!

MyDarlingWhatIfYouFly · 19/09/2018 09:53

Reply all, with the original email you sent to her as an attachment - rather than forwarding on your original email. That way you are not starting a new thread and actively adding everyone on, you are just replying to everyone that she sent her email to.

Havaina · 19/09/2018 09:54

Least said, soonest mended, my mum always used to say. It's up to you and your conscience.

Wtaf? That's very doormatty and poor advice.

RumbleMum · 19/09/2018 10:04

I understand wanting to be PA, OP, but the best way you can get on track here is to reply to all with a factual, straightforward email. Then she's been unprofessional and you've been extremely professional which makes her look worse by comparison. Everyone will clock her game when you cc them in with the original email, and you won't feel good about sending a snidey reply further down the line.

CurlyWurlyTwirly · 19/09/2018 10:07

I presume you have now forwarded the email and cc’d everyone.
Just watch your back with her, as she will be seething and will be plotting to get back at you.
I detest snidey office politics as she has demonstrated

SD1978 · 19/09/2018 10:13

Do you have proof it was sent on the day she initially asked? Is it confirmed in your outbox as sent? Yup- I'd reply all. Project was sent on x day, as initially requested. Unsure how this wasn't received, at the time- I didn't follow up as I assumed you'd received it as we hadn't communicated again regarding it. Resent again now- please let me know if you have received it and any changes required.....

Freezingheart · 19/09/2018 10:20

You wouldn’t be being an arse or unprofessional by replying with your original email and copying in same people she did. You would merely be stating the fact. You keep the email short and simple but you do need to keep everyone in loop but let them draw their own conclusions (ie she missed an email and you didn’t) otherwise this is going to come back on you, probably at pay rise time. I doubt she’s going to own up she made a mistake and there was no need to throw you under the bus when she originally sent this note. She could have just asked you.

TwitterQueen1 · 19/09/2018 10:24

Just watch your back with her, as she will be seething and will be plotting to get back at you

If she has an ounce of professionalism in her, she won't. And she certainly shouldn't. I can't believe this thread has run to 10 pages and 246+ comments! This kind of thing is normal, acceptable, standard practice in companies but so many people are being ridiculously scheming and taking personal offence. You wouldn't last a day in a large organisation. It's not personal!

Someone has overlooked something and sent an email to cover her/his own back. You could be perceived as being unprofessional so you simply reply with the facts, ensuring everyone knows you have done your job. If you don't respond everyone will assume you are indeed unprofessional. End of. Move on. It will happen again and again and again. Just deal with it!

CuriousaboutSamphire · 19/09/2018 10:27

Do you have proof it was sent on the day she initially asked? Is it confirmed in your outbox as sent? Yes, somewhere back on page 2 or 3 I am sure OP said she had triple checked that he email had been sent and that the contents were all correct.

All OP has to do is Reply All with a short, factual statement, with a copy of the email if she can, that it was sent on X date at X time.

She needs to protect her work position, just as CEmailF is trying to do!

And yes, then OP will need to be sure to email/document every little thing, just in case CEmailF is the type to hold a grudge. Snide people like her often are!

MsHomeSlice · 19/09/2018 10:39

I would "Reply All"

Hi Colleague
Do you want me to send it AGAIN, are you having problems with your emails? I sent it on xx/Sept/2018, please check and advise.
Regards Vlad.

I would draw as much attention as possible to the fact that she is trying to drop you in the shit without due cause.