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Original poster

To think my daughter is being cruel to her dog?

162 replies

WaaaaaaaaayBetter · 18/09/2018 20:42

Hello, my daughter has recently moved into a ground floor flat (3 months ago), they have allowed pets such as dogs and cats, which I thought was very unusual.

She did get a dog from a Facebook site that was about 2 years old I believe. He is a lovely little thing and I would definitely look after it but I'm too busy myself.

She leaves it in there all day while she is at work Sad she does then get home and take it on a lovely walk and she is a fab owner, has to have the best of the best, etc.

I've approached her about how concerned I am that he's just left in the flat all day on his own and she says she knows it's not ideal but she isn't passing him on to get another home and she loves him too much.

She's out Monday-Friday (9-5 type job).

AIBU to think this is cruel?

OP posts:
EdWinchester · 18/09/2018 20:45

Yes, it's cruel and utterly selfish.

She should not have a dog as she is neglecting it. Could she not get a walker in at lunchtime at least or send it to daycare?

Poor dog Sad

serbska · 18/09/2018 20:47

That is shut and she knows it. Why can’t she pay for doggy day care (you give hem a key and they will pick up and drop off usually) or at the very least a dog walker??

WelcomeToGreenvale · 18/09/2018 20:50

How do you think people with jobs keep dogs? If he's an adult dog he doesn't need to urinate as often as a puppy; if he has stimulating toys, food and water, and a comfy crate to sleep in, he will be fine for the time she's out.

A walker during the day is obviously the ideal but there's nothing inherently neglectful about keeping a dog while working full time.

Bananarama12 · 18/09/2018 20:53

I did this for 2 years with my dog but also went home on lunch. It's not cruel, she was perfectly happy.

shapeshifter88 · 18/09/2018 20:54

of course it's its neglectful. so when she's home from say 5.30 / 6pm the dog gets 4ish hours of human contact before bed time and then alone again. I cannot understand how anyone who likes animals can do this. yes it's common but that doesn't make it any better. it makes it worse that so many are put through this.

missyB1 · 18/09/2018 20:55

Part of the cost of owning a dog is paying for a walker when you are at work, the owner has a responsibility to make sure the dog has some human contact and outdoor time during the day. Ask your daughter how she would like being shut in on her own for hours everyday without access to a toilet or anyone to communicate with.

Original poster
WaaaaaaaaayBetter · 18/09/2018 20:56

I will suggest a walker/doggy daycare to her.

I didn't think I was wrong to think it was cruel, glad that's been confirmed.

OP posts:
EdWinchester · 18/09/2018 20:56

I disagree.

Dogs are pack animals and need companionship. They should not be left for hours on end. If you can't meet a dog's needs, don't have one.

Louislovesmud · 18/09/2018 20:56

How do you think people with jobs keep dogs? If he's an adult dog he doesn't need to urinate as often as a puppy; if he has stimulating toys, food and water, and a comfy crate to sleep in, he will be fine for the time she's out.

We arrange dog walkers, or someone to pop in and let them out to the garden at lunchtime. It's not the ideal, it's a basic they should be afforded.

Partyfops · 18/09/2018 20:57

It's cruel to leave a dog on it's own for more than 4 hours on a daily basis. People who do don't deserve the animal.

Barbie222 · 18/09/2018 20:59

How do you think people with jobs keep dogs?

I don't know any people who work those hours that do, out of concern for the dogs welfare.

It sounds like she needs some help to put the dog's best interest ahead of her wishes.

Dragongirl10 · 18/09/2018 21:00

You are right this is very cruel, dogs are pack animals, she should pay for a dog walker or send him/her to a dog daycare for at least part of the day.

RandomMess · 18/09/2018 21:07

DH works from home and can readily confirm that DDog sleeps from 7.30am until up to 5pm!

By 9pm she's pretty fast asleep and if the weather isn't good she refuses to go for a walk!!!

An extra walk would be great for her dog but he is likely quite happy.

DukeOfSussex · 18/09/2018 21:11

a 9-5 job is realistically a 8-6 job if you count getting ready and then commuting.

So that's a long time without a wee!

Lazypuppy · 18/09/2018 21:17

I don't think its cruel. My dog is home alone from 7-4, but my mum goes in at 9 to guve him a 30min walk and then he gets a big walk when i get home.

We built him up gradually from 2hr stints so he got used to it.

Lazypuppy · 18/09/2018 21:18

@RandomMess my dog is the same. If i work from home he literally is asleep all day on our bed uostairs Grin

Hayles88 · 18/09/2018 21:21

@WelcomeToGreenvale

So you don't go to the toilet between say 8.30am to 5.30pm? At all ever? You wouldn't get bored? Lonely? If you had a bad stomach you'd just hold it in for 9/10 hours? Dogs are trained to "go" outside and stress if not. Please do not own a dog.

Most people who own a dog and work full time have someone let the dog out or walk it once a day, during the day at least. My colleagues go home on lunch and let their dogs out if they don't employ someone. Anyone who doesn't shouldn't own a dog.
A dog walker should be employed to allow this poor animal to go out. Completely agree OP.

Junkmail · 18/09/2018 21:21

She’s not being intentionally cruel so I think this needs to be dealt with carefully. The dog should not be left all day alone and as pp have said she needs to have a dog walker come in a couple of times or for the dog to go to daycare. I understand that some people just don’t realise how hard it is on dogs to be left all day so I wouldn’t come down too hard on your daughter. She probably thinks she’s doing the best she can. If she can afford “the best of the best” though she can afford to send the dog to daycare.

CSIblonde · 18/09/2018 21:23

Can she find a dog walker or friend/neighbour with a teen who'd walk it after school for pin money? That's a long day.

makingmammaries · 18/09/2018 21:25

Another one here who doesn’t think it’s cruel. Dogs have chosen to be around humans for thousands of years with quite rudimentary care for most of the time, and definitely no flippin’ doggy daycare.

Extravagant · 18/09/2018 21:26

I agree with the OP. That’s why we have cats (and a cat flap).

Wolfiefan · 18/09/2018 21:27

Of course it’s cruel for a dog to have no chance to go to the toilet.
Some don’t mind being left (mine would have a meltdown) BUT someone needs to let the dog have a pee at some point.

Threadastaire · 18/09/2018 21:28

Anyone doubting its cruel to leave a dog at home all day - set up a Webcam and see how the dog behaves when you're not there.
Just because a dog sleeps when you're in the house doesnt mean they're as relaxed when they've watched you walk out the door.

mistermagpie · 18/09/2018 21:30

I think it's cruel. I don't even do that with my cats and cats are much less needy than dogs. My neighbours that work all day all seem to have a dog walker who comes in during the day, I assumed this was the norm.

RandomMess · 18/09/2018 21:30

@Lazypuppy 7.30am is actually optimistic she goes back to sleep within 10 minutes of eating breakfast which is usually before 7am Grin

She once went from 10pm to 6pm the following day without relieving herself I had to literally force her out - "but it's wet and cold Mummy, I can keep my legs crossed" Confused

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