To think my daughter is being cruel to her dog?

[WaaaaaaaaayBetter]

Hello, my daughter has recently moved into a ground floor flat (3 months ago), they have allowed pets such as dogs and cats, which I thought was very unusual.

She did get a dog from a Facebook site that was about 2 years old I believe. He is a lovely little thing and I would definitely look after it but I'm too busy myself.

She leaves it in there all day while she is at work she does then get home and take it on a lovely walk and she is a fab owner, has to have the best of the best, etc.

I've approached her about how concerned I am that he's just left in the flat all day on his own and she says she knows it's not ideal but she isn't passing him on to get another home and she loves him too much.

She's out Monday-Friday (9-5 type job).

AIBU to think this is cruel?

She really needs to drop him at doggy daycare (it's a thing!!), have a friend or neighbour take him for a long walk in the middle of the day or hire a dog walker to take him out.

But I expect I'll get flamed for that because a lot of people think they're justified in in leaving their dogs for 8+ hours five days a week.

I think it is cruel, the days I work I have a dog walker that comes and takes my dog out for 2 hours minimum so he then sleeps when on his own. I walk him for 45 minutes before I leave for work too. It is not just about exercise it is also about companionship for them too

Dogs have been bred to crave human company, because we like them loving us. To have an animal deliberately bred to crave human company and then leave it alone all day is cruel.
If you are going to get a pet you need to consider what type of animal you are getting and what its species needs are. So many people just think about what they will get out of having a pet and don't think about how the pet is going to experience this 'loving' relationship.

@SerendipityFelix I cannot find the link to the study directly and am at work so don't want to spend too long looking but the Dog's Trust did a write up here: www.dogstrustdogschool.org.uk/behaviour/separation-anxiety/how-common-is-separation-anxiety/

Thanks for that missbattenburg. As a pilot study it might not have been published but I know the behaviour team at Bristol are at the forefront in the field, I trust data they’ve released for use in that kind of article.

I totally agree adaline.

Dog ownership is increasing because puppies are so easy to buy. They’re advertised on Facebook, on gumtree, in the corner shop. Puppy farms mean you can get any breed you want without going on a waiting list and no one is going to ask you basic questions such as if the dog will be left alone all day. The rise in popularity of breeds which are not suitable pets for the majority of people (eg huskies) or those with appalling health problems which are “cute” (French bulldogs, pugs) shows that most people do zero research before getting a dog.

Dog ownership is increasing as well because we live in a throwaway society.

As pp says getting a dog is easy, people don't think of the consequences and don't understand, or want to understand, what the long term commitment of taking a dog into your home and life involves.

If it proves inconvenient or troublesome after the charm of the cute puppy phase has passed or you haven't bothered to train it and you've got an unruly adolescent dog on your hands well, you can always get rid of it. Hence all the dogs in rehoming centres, and even an increase in dogs being abandoned on the streets.

People do that with any other commodities once they tire of them: mobiles, tv etc and a lot of them look on animal in the same way.

Dog ownership is not increasing "exponentially"

No change 2007-11 veterinaryrecord.bmj.com/content/177/10/259

No change in the number of dog owning households 1980-2002 (though an increase in the number of dogs, so presumably there are now more multi dog households) www.pfma.org.uk/historical-pet-ownership-statistics

Let's not look at the past with rose tinted glasses. In the past spay / neuter was unheard of, accidental litters numerous and stray dogs a common sight. Drowning puppies and kittens was a common method of population control. Puppies could be bought cheaply from the classified ads or an ad in the local newsagent - merely the pre-digital version of Gumtree. The problems today may be different, but the past was hardly a utopia of good animal welfare.

If the dog is not showing any signs of separation anxiety (barking, toileting, chewing etc) and she’s walking it in the evening then its fine.

I leave mine for 8 hrs whilst Im at work, and he’s the happiest spoilt dog ever.

All depends on the dog, some can do alone time, others can’t.

It may be great for her to have a dog, however it is not so great for the dog to have an owner like her.
Utterly selfish and cruel, and there are lots of dogs left on there own like this, nation of dog lovers, I don't think so.

Nessie, he’s not the most spoilt dog ever.

All the luxury food, baskets, toys and collars in the world don’t make up for the lack of daytime company. Dogs don’t care about being spoilt with toys and treats. They want to be with their person more than they want anything else. Lots of company and extra-long walks at the weekend doesn’t make up for solitary confinement for 8 hours a day through the week.

Farm dogs are not cosseted. They often sleep in a barn rather than the house, they don’t get fancy food or treats. But they are with the farmer all day, every day. That’s what a spoilt dog looks like.

Actually you are right, Hes not spoilt, as spoilt dogs are awful. He is well cared for and has a wonderful life.
If I come home during the day, he ignores me and goes back to sleep on the sofa.
He’s knows the routine and the evening is the time for excitement and exercise.

Obviously you can’t tell, but I assure you that if you met him and saw our day to day, you would not think the way you do. Posts like this do not bother me, simply because I know my dog.

Doggy day care and dog walkers would be his nightmare. He like calm and routine.

pigsDofly I think your spot on and Dogs have become very replaceable once they aren’t “cute enough” or people discover just how much work a dog actually is, maybe the old dog licenses should be brought back (admittedly these were before my time)

OP your daughters situation is far from ideal but hopefully she will at least get a dog walker, if not take the dog to doggy day care.
We got a dog from Dogs trust a year ago, he’d been rehomed in a failed placement before us where he was left 4 hours per day, initially DP could take him to work with him and he did one day at day care until the ownership of the building where DP is basss changed and Dogs are no longer allowed.

We are extremely fortunate that whilst I work full time DP runs his own business so is able to work from home some days, our boy now goes to day care 3 days per week and DP is home on a Monday and leaves him alone on a half day Friday and I’m back after 4 hours, we have gradually increased the time he is ok to be left for to 6 hours but it took time, he’s ok alone and does mostly sleep but he does that when we are home too and he likes to be close but is always so excited when we’re home.

Talk to your daughter and check out local day care places if she can afford it ours is amazing and has done wonders in socialising him outside of walks and doggy classes

It really depends on the dog. My neighbour's dog cries and barks the entire time his owner is out. He's obviously very distressed on his own despite the fact he has a walker. Our dog on the other hand is at home on her own, with a dog flap whilst we work. We have a little doggy cam and I can confirm she sleeps for the entire day in between short bouts of chewing her nylabone. She doesn't whimper, doesn't pace, isn't destructive through boredom, she is fine. Having said that I know it's unusual for a dog to be quite as chilled as she is and if I saw she was in distress we would have someone pop in. It's all circumstantial and every dog is different.

Agreed, all depends on the dog. Some dogs can’t even be left for 10minutes. And it has to be built up gradually.

I think some people get a bit OTT. A good life doesn t have to be perfect. Evenings and weekends is all many people get to spend with others. I think the dog will be fine.

My next door neighbour doesn't work and has a dog so is around 90% of the time with it.

On the odd occasion she goes out without it I hear it crying through the wall. Not that I begrudge her going out without it and she is not neglectful, but it just shows how sad dogs can get.

im gonna be the odd one out here but hear me out

although it could be better, this sounds like it was a dog who was not wanted (2 yr old) and there are so many dogs (and cats) that are abandoned, left for days without food and just generally abused.

Although it is quite a long day for the dog to be left alone, your daughter said she loves him so much so im sure she comes home and gives him lots of attention! its one less dog out on the streets with no food and being abused... i think it could be worse.

but the real alternative option would be it went to be rehomed at a centre, who vetted people and the dog got given to someone who wanted it and didnt leave it alone for more than 4 hours. and while it was waiting to be rehomed it was walked multiple times a day and got to interact with people looking after it.

I have gone from part time time to full time, however I leave an hour later on a morning and come home for lunch - I am literally a 5 minute drive away.

I asked my cleaner if DDog bothers her whilst she is there and she laughed and said no err DDog is too busy relaxing and sleeping on the bed .

I do think it depends on the dog and how much exercise they need.

Of course it is cruel for a dog to be left alone all those hours 5 days a week. The dog is only 2 years old it should be much more active.

All these dogs that supposedly sleep all day - are they all old or ill? That is not normal behaviour. None of my dogs have slept for that amount of time.

She needs to arrange for a dog walker although even then the dog will spend a lot of time alone.

Doggy daycare would be much better or, if she can't afford that, join borrowmydoggy. People will walk the dog and spend time playing with it for free.

We don't leave our dog for more than 4 hours without arranging for someone to spend time with him in our house and walk him or have him in their home.

Yes it can be a pain at times and certainly costs us but we think it would be cruel to leave him alone even though it is not on a regular basis.

If the dog was stressed or unhappy it would make it pretty obvious. As it is, it seems to be fine. Ours is really pissed off when we try to take him out in the morning when it's raining and that's often 12 hours after he went out the previous night. He sleeps most of the day.

@bluelady dogs show stress in different ways sleeping a lot is one

If the dog was stressed or unhappy it would make it pretty obvious.

That's completely untrue. Yes, some dogs show stress by becoming destructive, barking/howling and messing in the house, but others just become lethargic and will slump all day.

I think too many people believe "my dog is fine because he sleeps all day" - well, if you're not there and there's no-one to get fuss or attention from, he has nothing better to do, does he?