To think my daughter is being cruel to her dog?

[WaaaaaaaaayBetter]

Hello, my daughter has recently moved into a ground floor flat (3 months ago), they have allowed pets such as dogs and cats, which I thought was very unusual.

She did get a dog from a Facebook site that was about 2 years old I believe. He is a lovely little thing and I would definitely look after it but I'm too busy myself.

She leaves it in there all day while she is at work she does then get home and take it on a lovely walk and she is a fab owner, has to have the best of the best, etc.

I've approached her about how concerned I am that he's just left in the flat all day on his own and she says she knows it's not ideal but she isn't passing him on to get another home and she loves him too much.

She's out Monday-Friday (9-5 type job).

AIBU to think this is cruel?

Poor doggy :( makes me sad reading this. We desperately want a dog but both work Mon to Fri, 9-5 and can't afford a dog walker. Dogs need company. Some breeds are more comfortable being alone for long periods but it can depend on their personality too.

Dog walker or doggy day care definitely :)

DH and I work full-time and ours goes to daycare.

I completely agree that it's cruel to leave a dog all day. They sleep because they have fuck all else to do!

This could have been written about me at one point - though the dog was left with me rather than being bought (or "accidentally acquired", you could say). I was doing the best I could under the circumstances, and was amazed DDog coped - not barking, whining, being destructive etc. Monitoring showed he got up for 5 mins in the day and went back to sleep.

I felt guilty about leaving him in the day and changed jobs so I could work from home more. Turns out DDog still sleeps all day and only perks up at about 5.30pm when he's accustomed to having his long walk - he can definitely tell the time! When we stay with DF (much larger house; there's less space in my flat!) he often decides he wants some alone time and takes himself off upstairs for a nap for several hours at a time. Honestly, I don't think he's that fussed.

My dog came from an imperfect background; as she's got the dog from a Facebook ad it's unlikely to have had 5* owners beforehand; FB is not considered a responsible place to rehome your dog. It's likely that the current situation is substantially better than he had before. I know my own dog's behaviour has improved substantially since he came to me, in great part because I spent my evenings walking him long distances, and training him (he's always been great indoors; outdoors are where his problems arise). The dog owner might like to consider providing some enrichment toys for the dog (stuffed Kongs, Nina Ottosson toys, other Kong brand toys etc. etc.) if she isn't already.

If a dog was struggling to cope (i.e. has separation anxiety) then yes, it would be unfair on the dog. You don't say that this is the case; every dog is different and some will cope for a full day while others can't cope with 15 minutes. While it's an imperfect situation, the reality is that the overall standard of care is good and there are not enough homes out there which want a dog, are physically active enough to walk one, are home all day etc. etc. for every dog to have a home like that. A 3 or 4 home is better than no home at all.

The comment from @Ellisandra about "the best of the best" meaning the dog is a fashion accessory is incredibly judgemental. I feed my dog top quality food, only provide good quality toys, his harness is top quality and he has a made-to-measure coat in a deeply practical style. He also enjoys swimming in ponds, chasing squirrels and rolling in fox shit. Dog accessories that are designed with fashion in mind tend to be low quality or impractical; the best of the best for dogs is usually designed for real life.

Got my dog when I was home all day with young children. I now have to work full time but my dog seems perfectly chilled out with that and sleeps all day even on my days off. She wakes up to play from about 3pm when everyone starts getting home.

Not ideal but not cruel unless the dog is getting upset. Would be more concerned about a puppy being left though as they still need the training and interaction in a different way.

"She needs a dog walker. They don't cost a fortune."

These don't exist everywhere.

" but I simply won’t leave a dog alone all day while I’m at work. It’s selfish and smacks of doing what suits you, not what suits the animal."

What if your circumstances change and you're forced to increase your working hours, relocated with a longer commute?

I think "cruel" is a bit dramatic.

What if your circumstances change and you're forced to increase your working hours, relocated with a longer commute?

You find a way to make sure you're still meeting the dogs needs?

People saying RSPCA, they'd do eff all unless she was leaving the dog for days on end. It's not illegal to leave a dog and go out.

I don’t think cruel is the right word tbh. It sounds like she loves the dog and leaving him is something she doesn’t feel distresses him so it’s a difference of opinion. I have two dogs and am a sahm so I’m with them most of the time or they have each other for company. I can confirm that they sleep most of the time and they’re never even interested in going outside. If I go out they follow but they’re never at the back door waiting to go out on their own. There’s lots of suggestions on here though so maybe she’ll think about those.

It isnt ideal no........is she at least leaving the tv or radio on for him ??

She just needs a dog walker once a day .. and it's sorted . Of course that will cost her a few hundred pounds a month but it's fairer on the dog .
FWIW we use to leave dogs at home all day but it was in a very big house with outside access and safe so a bit different to a flat ..
Does it have accidents ?

V selfish, dog walker or day care is needed.

@missbattenburg do you have a link/reference for that study please?

FWIW I think it’s very different leaving a dog you’ve owned & known for 10 years for longer periods as your circumstances change, in their own familiar home, and deliberately acquiring a young dog possibly who has had an inconsistent home life so far, and leaving them for extended periods in your (unfamiliar, to the dog) home without first getting to know them, how they cope with things, are there any issues there. Some dogs do not cope with being alone, but can mask it well.

I know so many people with Dogs who work all day leaving Dog home alone.
Some do have Dog Walkers/Family popping in to take the dog out, most do not.
I have never once considered it cruel or thought they shouldn't have a dog-If the dog gets lots of attention and walks when the owners are in and not left for all the weekend alone again then seriously..it is what most working dog owners do!
I am a SAHM and have two dogs,I have just started to work two mornings a week-My dogs are fine and honestly all they do when I am there is sleep anyway until it's walkies!!! They however do have each other for company and it is lovely seeing them groom each other and play.

Seriously, the dog has a better life that 90% of dogs on this world. Loved, fed and warm, kept healthy, parasite free and cuddled with a person of his very own. No home is perfect, and the odds of the dog getting a less good home if he moves on are high.

People do it, doesn't mean it's right. She should pay for a dog walker in the middle of the day. I work in animal welfare and it disgusts me that people do this.

Depends on the dog. Two of ours would have no problem with that as they sleep all day whether we’re there or not. They will also refuse to go out for a wee if it’s raining for up to 24 hours. Our other dog can’t even be left for half an hour. Being left 9-5 in a home where it is fed and loved is still better than a lot of the alternatives.

I have a dog and work from home. If I were to work outside the house for a lot of probably get another dog so they could keep each other company.

I work full time and have a dog who doesn't go to doggy day care or a walker. He is walked for an hour in the morning and another hour when I get home. According to the petcam all he does is sleep or get tormented by the cats/squirrels outside my bedroom window.

Tried doggie day care and he wasn't really interested in the other dogs. Hired a dog walker and she said he never went to the toilet was always pulling to go back home within 5 minutes. So this is what's ideal for him (and my bank account.)

Not sure cruel is the right word, it's more neglectful of the dog's needs.

Of course a dog will get used to being left all day, they're very adaptable.

They are also sociable animals, I think most social animals, including humans, would find it quite lonely to be left every single day with no one to interact with and no company, which is why they learn to sleep all day if there's no one else around or the person that is around is busy all day doing other things - sleeping all the time can be a sign of depression is human and animals, it's not necessarily a good thing.

I'm assuming she going out in the evenings sometimes or at the weekends without the dog, so further time when the dog is on it's own.

Why anyone with her life style would get a dog knowing that the dog is going to be on its own so much I can't imagine. What's the point? It's very selfish. I want a dog to spend time with when I can spare the time but for the vast majority of the time the dog is going to be lonely; is that really fair? Just because a lot of people do it, it doesn't make it right.

Maybe the dog doesn't mind but maybe it's thoroughly miserable, who knows.

If it's so awful for a dog to be left on its own how is it that dog ownership is expanding exponentially? Or is it because "nobody" works these days (at least on Fridays)?

I'm sure doggy daycare didn't use to exist, you saw dogs being walked early morning and late evening and that was it.

However, (I hesitate to say this because it sounds like the idiot remarks people say about working mums) why bother having a dog if you're out at work all day? They're not just for weekends.

I don't think it is cruel. Our dog is on his own during the day. He goes in and out the cat flap as he chooses and has full access to back garden. He sits with me all evening and sleeps in my bed so he gets plenty of human contact then. He also has access to the big front window where he can look out and bark at anyone he feels like. He also gets to play mind games with the cat which he mostly loses.

It really depends on the dog. I have two greyhounds who prefer us gone in the day so they can sleep in peace. If I come home early and disturb them they huff and puff and drag their beds off to somewhere they won’t be bothered. They’re lovely and sociable, but only once they’ve gotten their 16 hours sleep.

If it's so awful for a dog to be left on its own how is it that dog ownership is expanding exponentially?

Personally I think it's because anyone can go out and get a dog these days. Puppy farms are huge businesses and don't ask questions - you can walk in, pick a puppy and take it home the same day. Nobody asks how it'll be paid for or looked after. Nobody asks if the owners have plans in place while they're walking or whether they can afford the right food or care for their dogs.

Dogs are sociable animals and like being around others - be it other dogs or other people. Just because your dog sleeps all day while you're out, doesn't mean he/she is happy - they're sleeping because there's nothing else for them to do. Mine often sleeps all day when I'm home but he also likes to be sleeping in the same room as me, he follows me into the garden or initiates play sometimes. He's so happy when I get home from work (after being collected from daycare by my partner) that I can't imagine he'd be happy to be left for hours on end.

But people are selfish and would rather have a dog and leave it all day than not have one at all, even if the dog has to be on its own for the majority of its life (5 days a week plus every night, plus being left at weekends so they can go to the cinema, zoo, supermarket etc).