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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not go to midwife regarding reduced movement? *Poss TW?*

999 replies

booandbumpp · 18/09/2018 07:52

Can someone please tell me what to do? Posting here for traffic.
I am 34 weeks pregnant - complicated pregnancy, baby has a severe CHD called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, and will need a surgery in the first week of life.
I also have high pressure in the placenta and am on weekly monitoring for that. Baby is measuring small due to this and I need to be induced early - at 37 weeks - if the pressure stays high, which it has consistently been for the last 5 weeks.
Baby will be borderline "big" enough for the surgery if born at 37 weeks. Can't keep him in longer, can't delay surgery, otherwise he will definitely die. Nothing I can do to help with the pressure in the placenta.
I've had reduced movement yesterday and today. He's never been the most active baby, but yesterday and today I've barely felt him. FMU consultant told me to watch out for this due to the pressure in placenta possibly getting higher and there being no forward flow of blood to baby.
I haven't yet - partly because I'm having two scans tomorrow - one with cardiologist, one with FMU consultants anyway, so I'll get answers then. Partly because I'm selfish - I'm scared, I don't want to miss another day of work, I don't want to drag my partner out of work to sit next to me for 4 hours at a maternity hospital.
And also because honestly what can they do? They induce me now because my placenta won't work properly, he'll still die because he won't be able to have surgery. They leave him in there with negative flow, he'll die, or stop growing.
I'm not crying, I'm barely upset, I'm just stuck. I feel so annoyed at myself for not being able to make a decision, but I guess thats because I feel like no matter what decision I make, its the same outcome.
SO, sorry that was longer than I expected. WWYD?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Blubellesmum · 14/10/2018 15:19

Sending love and prayers for both of you from North Carolina, US. Flowers

mimiasovitch · 14/10/2018 15:27

Just read all of this thread. Congratulations - he is absolutely gorgeous. Will be thinking of you and wishing you all the best on the next leg of your journey xx

BlueGlasses · 14/10/2018 15:53

Such a moving and emotional journey we've all been sharing with you. Congratulations on the safe arrival of your little boy Teddy ❤️

Please keep us updated as to his progress x

Lndnmummy · 14/10/2018 16:08

This thread has moved me to tears. Teddy is beautiful. An amazing little boy

Wellfuckmeinbothears · 14/10/2018 16:16

Congratulations! He’s beautiful and well done you! So glad you can cuddle him. I know the wires and how fragile he is can be scary but trust me, he needs mummy and daddy cuddles and the nurses will help you navigate all the wires. Well done boo, remember to eat and sleep, he’s going to need you to be strong xx

MissDai5y · 14/10/2018 16:25

He's a very handsome lad. Lovely name too.

Congratulations!!!!!

thornyhousewife · 14/10/2018 16:29

Well done Boo and family, you are all doing so extremely well and I'm so pleased his oesophagus is good.

flobella · 14/10/2018 16:30

Well done! He’s so lovely x

MadeForThis · 14/10/2018 16:41

Congratulations he's gorgeous x

AtrociousCircumstance · 14/10/2018 17:16

Huge congratulations. Happy birthday Teddy Bear

oldgimmer78 · 14/10/2018 17:21

What a cutie OP, he's a great colour too and fab news that his oesophagus seems fine. Definitely try to get some sleep. The wires are scary at first but you'll be a dab hand within a few days. Don't be afraid to ask for a screen if you want skin to skin either.

oldgimmer78 · 14/10/2018 17:23

Can we nominate this thread for classics? I'm sure I wasn't the only one waiting for Teddy to be born!

LittleDoritt · 14/10/2018 17:26

Congratulations! He's absolutely lovely.

Scandie · 14/10/2018 17:26

He is here. He is safe. He is here. He is safe. ... just going round and round in my head. Enormous congratulations from Scandinavia. Teddy is a lovely name and you are an awesome and inspiring mommy!

NEMSparkle · 14/10/2018 17:28

Congratulations! Teddy is beautiful sending lots of best wishes.

ShesABelter · 14/10/2018 17:31

Congrats he's absolutely gorgeous! Well done you!

Knitwit101 · 14/10/2018 17:33

Hope all his scans and test results are as positive as they can possibly be.
Sending love to you all x

Crunchymum · 14/10/2018 17:44

He is even more gorgeous in the second picture and he so alert? I always imagine newborns like little blind kittens Grin he looks dinky as well.

The NICU staff will help with expressing and they will have dedicated machines (hospital grade, and often double pumps). I didn't start until my milk came in day 3 and by the time we left I could get 200ml on about 20 minutes, but don't stress of worry about it at all. You'll get there.

Yes, yes to resting tonight. Rest and food is very important.

Thank you for sharing your story boo. It's inspirational.

noideawhattodonow · 14/10/2018 17:45

hello Boo, congratulations!!

What a gorgeous boy you have, he's in the very very best hands in a nicu unit!!!

I'm a nicu nurse and have cared for babies with your sons condition and I love waving them off home at discharge.

Enjoy your wonderful baby and have a wonderful journey!

Use us nurses Smile, and rest easy too!Thanks

Crunchymum · 14/10/2018 17:47

Sorry I meant alert in the first pic. X

PineappleTart · 14/10/2018 17:49

I've been lurking since you first posted and I just wanted to say congratulations, Teddy is so beautiful x

princessib · 14/10/2018 17:49

Congratulations, he is so gorgeous. It’s scary when they’re tiny and covered with wires, but the NICU nurses are so helpful and kind and will help you pick him up and hold him. Once you’ve done it a couple of times, you’ll be a dab hand at it, don’t be afraid to ask for all the help you need. Keep strong

fourfuckssake4 · 14/10/2018 18:19

Fantastic news Boo. Big welcome to Teddy from the Scottish islands x

itssquidstella · 14/10/2018 18:43

Congratulations and good luck, OP! Teddy is a gorgeous squidge.

theladylovescupcakes · 14/10/2018 19:01

What a beautiful boy - many congratulations x