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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not go to midwife regarding reduced movement? *Poss TW?*

999 replies

booandbumpp · 18/09/2018 07:52

Can someone please tell me what to do? Posting here for traffic.
I am 34 weeks pregnant - complicated pregnancy, baby has a severe CHD called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, and will need a surgery in the first week of life.
I also have high pressure in the placenta and am on weekly monitoring for that. Baby is measuring small due to this and I need to be induced early - at 37 weeks - if the pressure stays high, which it has consistently been for the last 5 weeks.
Baby will be borderline "big" enough for the surgery if born at 37 weeks. Can't keep him in longer, can't delay surgery, otherwise he will definitely die. Nothing I can do to help with the pressure in the placenta.
I've had reduced movement yesterday and today. He's never been the most active baby, but yesterday and today I've barely felt him. FMU consultant told me to watch out for this due to the pressure in placenta possibly getting higher and there being no forward flow of blood to baby.
I haven't yet - partly because I'm having two scans tomorrow - one with cardiologist, one with FMU consultants anyway, so I'll get answers then. Partly because I'm selfish - I'm scared, I don't want to miss another day of work, I don't want to drag my partner out of work to sit next to me for 4 hours at a maternity hospital.
And also because honestly what can they do? They induce me now because my placenta won't work properly, he'll still die because he won't be able to have surgery. They leave him in there with negative flow, he'll die, or stop growing.
I'm not crying, I'm barely upset, I'm just stuck. I feel so annoyed at myself for not being able to make a decision, but I guess thats because I feel like no matter what decision I make, its the same outcome.
SO, sorry that was longer than I expected. WWYD?

OP posts:
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booandbumpp · 14/10/2018 12:48

Thank you for all the lovely responses. I am a bit awed by the response on this thread to say it was posted out of a morning of desperation and confusion. It's really been a support to me and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.
We've been on NICU most of the morning. The cardiologist scanned him (for about an hour! He wasn't a happy chappy during that but at least he was checked thoroughly.
The consultant said that Teddy is still very much in a "grey area" between biventricular and single ventricle repair. They are going to do more scans and monitoring over the next few days to see how his heart gets on and then discuss in the meeting on Tuesday and go from there.
There is definitely no issues with oesophagus so that is good!
Will see how we get on. We can cuddle but I am very nervous of the wires - and he's so small! But I'm sure the NICU nurses will help me. My plan for the rest of the day is to see my brother who will be meeting him, sit with Teddy for a bit, and then go to sleep early and try and sleep through if possible. I think I will start to try and express tomorrow - if I try now I think I'm so tired I'd just get frustrated with myself.

AIBU to not go to midwife regarding reduced movement? *Poss TW?*
OP posts:
LoniceraJaponica · 14/10/2018 12:49

Congratulations and best wishes Flowers

dizzycatdance2 · 14/10/2018 12:50

Oh he is so beautiful. Hope you can get some rest.

Chunkymonkey123 · 14/10/2018 12:52

Congratulations! He is so lovely!
My DS went to NICU and the nurses were lovely and supportive about helping me with expressing. I didn’t start until day 2 and it went fine. It is very tiring as you have to do it every 3 hours so I think a proper sleep first is a good idea 💐

ohtheholidays · 14/10/2018 12:53

Teddy is gorgeous,Congratulations to you both Flowers

GoingToInfinity · 14/10/2018 13:04

He's a proper cutie. Really hoping that he next few days bring positive news for all of you x

Mama1980 · 14/10/2018 13:10

Oh he is beautiful op. Congratulations.
Welcome to the world Teddy.

EbbandTheWanderingHearts · 14/10/2018 13:11

Omg! He's adorable! Congratulations! I'm sure you'll both be well looked after on NICU. Flowers

mumof06darlings · 14/10/2018 13:13

Oh wow congratulations - he is just Georgous 😍😍😍

ButAIBUtho · 14/10/2018 13:15

He is absolutely beautiful. Congratulations. Flowers

traceyturnblatt · 14/10/2018 13:17

Welcome to the world wee Teddy! What a gorgeous boy!

You should know you have a kick ass mum too!

BitOfAKerfuffle · 14/10/2018 13:31

Congratulations ! Welcome to the world little man ! He is gorgeous !

All the best of luck for the times ahead xx

RainbowsArePretty · 14/10/2018 13:43

Awwww how wonderful. What a gorgeous boy & I love the name, wishing you both all the best & delighted he is safely here & you got cuddles 💙

BellMcEnd · 14/10/2018 13:50

Oh wow! He’s absolutely gorgeous! Welcome to the world, Teddy and huge congratulations to Boo and family 😘

ChocDee · 14/10/2018 14:01

A very awed greeting from Kentucky from me to you and your whole family.
I have never responded to threads like these before, though they do often move me.

But you and Teddy are coming across as truly amazing individuals.

Many, many positive vibes and warm feelings wafting towards you and yours from across the pond.

butterfly56 · 14/10/2018 14:04

Oh he is beautiful Boo!!...and a wonderful name too!!
Just praying that all goes well for you all Flowers

derikthesheep · 14/10/2018 14:04

Congratulations Boo! Well done! He's absolutely GORGEOUS! I've been lurking from the start and been hoping and praying for you.

I hesitated to post this but I'm hoping it will bring you a bit of comfort and encouragement to hear of others who have been down the same path as you (also up north) and who continue to beat the odds. My close relative was also born with hplh syndrome like Teddy and has had numerous surgeries over the years, followed by a heart transplant when he was about 4. He is now a strapping lad of 18. The care he received and continues to receive from the NHS has been phenomenal.
Wishing you strength and courage.
Xxx

Myshinynewname · 14/10/2018 14:24

Congratulations! He is beautiful.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 14/10/2018 14:31

He is so lovely. I am glad he will be able to meet his uncle. I am hoping that all your hopes for him will come to be and that you will be able to look forward to a whole life together.

AlsoKnownAsMillicent · 14/10/2018 14:31

How lovely to see pics of Teddy now he's here! Have been checking in every few hours days to see how you've been progressing . congratulations to you and your little family! Thanks

NotMyCircusMonkeys · 14/10/2018 14:35

Congratulations! He's lovely.

PatPhelansRedVan · 14/10/2018 15:02

Congratulations xx

figelnarage · 14/10/2018 15:05

Congratulations, he is absolutely gorgeous 👶🏻

Violetroselily · 14/10/2018 15:08

Congratulations, he is beautiful

Best wshes to you all as he starts this journey Flowers

Observatorycrest · 14/10/2018 15:10

Oh he is such a gorgeous boy! Hugs from over here and the NICU staff are brilliant so he and you will be well looked after..