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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not go to midwife regarding reduced movement? *Poss TW?*

999 replies

booandbumpp · 18/09/2018 07:52

Can someone please tell me what to do? Posting here for traffic.
I am 34 weeks pregnant - complicated pregnancy, baby has a severe CHD called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, and will need a surgery in the first week of life.
I also have high pressure in the placenta and am on weekly monitoring for that. Baby is measuring small due to this and I need to be induced early - at 37 weeks - if the pressure stays high, which it has consistently been for the last 5 weeks.
Baby will be borderline "big" enough for the surgery if born at 37 weeks. Can't keep him in longer, can't delay surgery, otherwise he will definitely die. Nothing I can do to help with the pressure in the placenta.
I've had reduced movement yesterday and today. He's never been the most active baby, but yesterday and today I've barely felt him. FMU consultant told me to watch out for this due to the pressure in placenta possibly getting higher and there being no forward flow of blood to baby.
I haven't yet - partly because I'm having two scans tomorrow - one with cardiologist, one with FMU consultants anyway, so I'll get answers then. Partly because I'm selfish - I'm scared, I don't want to miss another day of work, I don't want to drag my partner out of work to sit next to me for 4 hours at a maternity hospital.
And also because honestly what can they do? They induce me now because my placenta won't work properly, he'll still die because he won't be able to have surgery. They leave him in there with negative flow, he'll die, or stop growing.
I'm not crying, I'm barely upset, I'm just stuck. I feel so annoyed at myself for not being able to make a decision, but I guess thats because I feel like no matter what decision I make, its the same outcome.
SO, sorry that was longer than I expected. WWYD?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
thornyhousewife · 12/10/2018 17:57

I imagine time has completely warped for you, I remember how long my induction took, but I hope you're getting lots of rest and relaxation before the big event.

Sending love from London!

Original poster
booandbumpp · 12/10/2018 18:42

Progress! I am dilated! 3 cm but "long" so I have the gel in now to encourage further dilation.
I'll have that in for 6 hours and then they will break my waters and then put me on the drip.
I was very surprised as I've had no pains at all so I'm hoping that's a good sign.
Fingers crossed all goes smoothly. I'm more excited to meet him - I think I'm more focused on those few minutes I will get with him than after. I'll probably be a mess when he's taken to NICU without me but right now those few minutes of cuddles will get me through.

OP posts:
whitsernam · 12/10/2018 18:48

You are my hero today. Those cuddles will mean the world to him, too; not just you.

SouthernComforts · 12/10/2018 18:53

Wishing you both all best boo. My dd was taken straight to NICU from theatre, I didn't actually see her before they took her. Enjoy those precious cuddles Flowers.

It may be different these days but the nurses wanted me up and walking before I could go to NICU, I was a bit of a stroppy cow and they soon took me there in a wheelchair, so don't be fobbed off. Hopefully you won't need a section and you'll be with him in no time.

EmeraldVillage · 12/10/2018 18:54

Keep on buggering on OP, you’re doing doing great

Knitwit101 · 12/10/2018 19:04

It feels like it's taking for ever doesn't it?
I hope everything is as positive as it can be once he arrives and you get your cuddles before all the medical business kicks in x

HashTagLil · 12/10/2018 19:06

You're amazing OP!

Outbackshack · 12/10/2018 19:07

Another one here who keeps checking on your progress. I feel almost as invested in you and your little one as I did for my own ds. Hope things keep progressing nicely

Wellfuckmeinbothears · 12/10/2018 19:11

Gosh you really are amazing Flowers

3luckystars · 12/10/2018 19:23

Thinking of you and your baby tonight and sending you best wishes from Ireland.

Howmanysleepstilchristmas · 12/10/2018 19:32

Fingers crossed the gel does it for you. All 4 of my inductions got going just before I was due for having my waters broken and going on the drip. Admittedly I was a little further along, (42, 38, 38 and 37 weeks) but still...
Just remember, every pain takes you closer to those cuddles. You’re an amazing mummy already and your baby is so so lucky to have you. I’ve got everything crossed 🤞

Potato2242 · 12/10/2018 19:58

I just read all your posts in this thread op, I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your news, but at the same time congratulations on finally being in the motions for meeting your little boy!! Take your time, breath, the C-section recovery isn't as bad as you think and I had the highest emergency level there is. Stay strong for your little boy, this is when he needs you the most. And stay strong for your dp too, I'm sure they're doing all they can for you but make sure he has a support system in place from his family. You're holding your son up, he's holding you up, just make sure someone's holding him up. I'm sure you've already thought of that but I know some people forget it in the heat of the moment. Good luck! X

Almostfifty · 12/10/2018 20:24

I hope it all goes smoothly for you, I'll be thinking of you.

Crunchymum · 12/10/2018 20:29

Blimey OP, 3cm and you've not felt a thing!! You've got this (it may start to "nip a bit" at some point though Grin)

They like you to go roughly a cm an hour so I wouldn't think baby time is too far away.

I've had a neonate, completely different circumstances of course but I can assure you that there is plenty of support and plenty you can do, even if you aren't able to cuddle baby. I know there is a lot of uncertainty for you all, but you are doing your soon to be born son very proud.

Go mumma x

Crunchymum · 12/10/2018 20:31

They won't keep you apart from him for long OP. They get mum's to their baby's as quickly as possible!! Also your DP can go ahead with him and your mum can be with you. You won't be alone, the support they give neonate mum's is second to none. X

Iizzyb · 12/10/2018 20:41

Lovely to hear an update Boo. Not too long now. Lots of brilliant advice on here. Just keep going. Sending you lots of positive thoughts. Thanks

dizzycatdance2 · 12/10/2018 20:57

Hurrah for dilation , He's on his way !

dizzycatdance2 · 12/10/2018 21:03

Hurrah for dilation , He's on his way !

Starlight345 · 12/10/2018 21:17

Hopefully not long now . Thinking of you both

QueenOfTheMotorway · 12/10/2018 21:19

Good luck OP

user1471457757 · 12/10/2018 21:20

Thinking of you and your baby and sending you lots of positive vibes

Kittykat93 · 12/10/2018 21:31

Glad things are progressing Thanks

Queenofthestress · 12/10/2018 21:40

Good luck!

2018SoFarSoGreat · 12/10/2018 21:42

so happy to hear this update (I have been checking in on you when I wake up, and after each meeting I get dragged into bloody work interfering with my monitoring of your hard work)

3 centimeters. That is almost 1/3 of the way done. Go you!!!! You shall be getting those snuggles and cuddles very soon. Sending you a big strong back to lean on when the going gets a wee bit tougher - just remember that each pain gets you one step closer to meeting Mr. Bump himself Flowers

Eatmycheese · 12/10/2018 22:02

hoping that gel is working wonders and those remaining 7cm are vanishing.
You are so close now.
Sending love and strength